tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8045918723171240420.post4702350044445447409..comments2023-10-11T14:46:44.986+03:00Comments on A Fire Burns In Breslov: Balancing Chizuk with Divine ServiceYehudishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004226633827976228noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8045918723171240420.post-90310628130949207062009-01-21T15:43:00.000+02:002009-01-21T15:43:00.000+02:00Thank you again for your comments-- and the chizuk...Thank you again for your comments-- and the chizuk!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8045918723171240420.post-53253154709278161442009-01-21T08:50:00.000+02:002009-01-21T08:50:00.000+02:00psi also think a key here is when H' created the f...ps<BR/><BR/>i also think a key here is when H' created the first person. He created one person. He blew the soul of life into one person. the first woman came from one person. they were both certainly unique in the most elemental way.<BR/><BR/>from this we can see that each person is truly unique. H' doesn't duplicate nor does He desire duplication!!!<BR/><BR/>how then can parents or educators or anyone fairly, lovingly or kindly expect, even in a subtle way, that one person 'exceed' another.<BR/><BR/>i find the whole concept disturbing, quite frankly.<BR/><BR/>reb nachman speaks at length about finding one's own (and others') good points. this is akin to a song.<BR/><BR/>this applies directly to my issue with the content as i read it.<BR/><BR/>more singing, less kvetching!!<BR/><BR/>:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8045918723171240420.post-65086954453492704012009-01-21T08:44:00.000+02:002009-01-21T08:44:00.000+02:00you are very humble and very thoughtful.when i rea...you are very humble and very thoughtful.when i read the first quote about the reflection of water and the heart, i find it to be an uplifting and inspiring statement; however, unfortunately, the piece then engages a discussion on people who lament that their kids didn't exceed their parents. dang.<BR/><BR/>these days for jewish people, i think the more we can inspire and uplift each other the better. <BR/><BR/>how we do that is important.<BR/><BR/>re the example of the parents kvetching about their kids.<BR/><BR/>what would happen if, instead, the parents really got into torah study with their kids, or grown kids?<BR/><BR/>what if the parents (or friends etc) showed sincere joy, interest, enthusiasm in the kids torah study.<BR/><BR/>the learning generated from this would truly be l'shem shamayim, nu?<BR/><BR/>if a person appears lazy, or not trying 'hard enough' there may be other things going on. calling them lazy or pressuring them could backfire. i have to wonder if the reaason the people you cited..maybe the reason the kids didn't exceed the parents is because they either didn't like being pressured or compared...or somehow deep inside they said "enough already, i do the best i can and it's not good enough for you? forget about it".<BR/><BR/>this is often the case, often unspoken and i think it leads to an alarming rate of sadness vs simcha.<BR/><BR/>parents should encourage their kids to be b'simcha in a toradich way.<BR/><BR/>and search for, value and help the kids see and develop their own perspectives. <BR/><BR/>i didn't grow up frum, and today i am 'traditional'. a frum rav i know said 'you would've been a realy fine rabbi'. i took that as a very nice compliment. but, did i say, oh shoot, i wasted my life, now i can't be valuable to the klal?<BR/><BR/>nope. i learn, i share and i'm happy to learn from young yeshiva bochers as well as older people who are not observant.<BR/><BR/>you post great pieces on this blog and i mean no disrespect at all. you are very kind to even consider my idea. <BR/><BR/>after all, what do i know?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8045918723171240420.post-85306217022728471402009-01-21T05:23:00.000+02:002009-01-21T05:23:00.000+02:00Anonymous: Thank you again for your comment which ...Anonymous: Thank you again for your comment which inspired my response; your point was certainly well taken. <BR/>I just don't think the piece implies to pressure children or compare them to anyone else. The Ohr Sameach was asked a question and replied candidly to teach a very important lesson. <BR/>Do you think I need to change the piece to clarify not to compare or pressure children?<BR/>I don't believe so, but I may be wrong; wouldn't be the first time...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8045918723171240420.post-68426498565565543542009-01-21T05:10:00.000+02:002009-01-21T05:10:00.000+02:00thanks for your thoughtful response.the key elemen...thanks for your thoughtful response.<BR/>the key element that is missing here is the problem with 'pressure'.<BR/><BR/>there are different kinds. surely, people do much better when 'motivated'; although sometimes we need negative pressure to motivate us.<BR/><BR/>you seem to see my point. way too often parents mistakenly pressure their kids out of what they perceive as love. when in fact, the wiser parents understand that when a child is motivated from inside themselves (or an adult) then the strength is more genuine and lasting.<BR/><BR/>sorry, i think it is absolutely terrible for anyone to compare a child to their parent or another child in the expectation to do more.<BR/><BR/>now, if the child is lazy and the parent or friend (to an adult) says: well, look at so and so. he's got all these responsibilities and he gets up early and goes to work etc. sometimes this can work well.<BR/><BR/>again, the key here is this: if we are to understand that H' made us each unique, then we must try to encourage individual development.<BR/><BR/>this is not an easy topic, or task. but my main point about parents comparing or pressuring children remains.<BR/><BR/>thanksAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com