Hidden Thoughts

The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, explains the avodah of purifying one’s thoughts. “Just like gold is very precious but is worthless until it is separated from the dross which is the majority, the same is true of the human psyche. Although we have an abundance of proper feelings and good character traits these cannot shine forth properly until the dross of bad middos and illicit desires are removed. Before one has smelted gold it remains dull and lusterless; the same is true regarding good character traits. “Although we know how to smelt gold many are puzzled at how they can remove the bad within themselves. The answer is that we must stand strong in the furnace of temptation, when we are pushed to follow our heart’s desires. The first and most important place of tests which burn away bad desires is in one’s thoughts. We must remove illicit thoughts especially of licentiousness. In terms of middos one who has a bad temper must accustom himself to speak softly. A person who feels unhappy about his friend’s success should work to save another from harm. “In this manner he will slowly remove the bad and the wondrous middos will shine through and be recognizable to all.” [חכמה ומוסר, ח"ב, ע' רי"א]

Gauging our Bitachon

The Midrash teaches that after Yaakov Avinu was stripped of his material goods he declared, "אשא עיני אל ההרים מאין יבא עזרי"—“‘I lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where will my help come?’ Eliezer the servant of Avraham brought ten loaded camels to convince my mother to marry my father. I don’t even have one earring or a bracelet to court my wife-to-be!

But he immediately encouraged himself, “Will I then lose my bitachon? Chas v’shalom that I should lose my hope and trust in Hashem! 'עזרי מעם ה' עושה שמים וארץ!'—“My help will come from Hashem, Maker of heaven and earth.’”[1]

The commentary on the Midrash explains that the word mountains—הרים—alludes to parents—הורים—since both words are essentially the same. The word עזרי alludes to Yaakov Avinu’s future wife, the woman he hoped would be his עזר כנגדו, his helpmate.[2]

Even Yaakov Avinu, the bechir ha’avos, had a momentary lapse of bitachon before he was able to reconnect with Hashem and trust in Him fully. Clearly, bitachon is an ongoing process with its attendant setbacks, and since it is a dynamic quality we run the risk of fooling ourselves into thinking that we have attained a high level even though we have not. So how are we to know whether we are truly developing greater bitachon or just coasting?

One simple gauge of genuine bitachon is our degree of patience when facing challenges. The more bitachon one has, the harder it is to unsettle him.[3] The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, tells us that this is like walking along a narrow log to cross over a raging river. Fear itself makes it very difficult to walk along such a narrow bridge, and the person who manages it with aplomb demonstrates his confidence in a positive outcome.[4] When a person knows that he is in Hashem’s hands, bitachon is strong and fear dissipates. The bridge beneath his feet is solid, and so the pressures of a gust of wind or the fearsome sound of the rushing river below him cannot make him falter.

Our bitachon-stability is highlighted most clearly in our reactions to other people. Do we become flustered and defensive when we are challenged by their behavior, or do we have patience and try to see it from their point of view? One of the greatest tests of our real, not illusory, level of bitachon is in how we treat our spouse. The Midrash itself points to this, since Yaakov Avinu’s own lapse was in the matter of his shidduch.

Rav Nissim Yagen, zt”l, would often discuss the challenges of shalom bayis. “It truly pains me that many times shortly after marriage husbands approach me with complaints. ‘Rabbi, my wife is simply not what I though her to be before our marriage.’

“I invariably reply in kind: ‘You too, are not precisely as she thought you to be before your marriage!’

“The truth is that this feeling betrays a marked lack of bitachon. Chazal brought three proofs from Tanach that one’s wife is heaven-sent.[5] The Ben Ish Chai, zt”l, asks why the Gemara there specifically discusses shidduchim. Is not everything from Hashem? He explains that it is especially in this area that one comes to see with his own eyes that the woman Hashem has sent him is truly his match made in heaven. Like the splitting of the Yam Suf, natural law does not reign when it comes to shidduchim!

Rav Yagen concluded, “But one needs a lot of patience until he sees this, especially at the beginning. I still recall my first trip to America many years ago. I saw a slogan on a billboard that proclaimed a message from Kennedy’s inauguration address: ‘Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.’ This is also the secret to building a good marriage: Ask not what your spouse can do for you. Ask instead what you can do for your spouse!”[6]

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[1] Bereishis Rabbah 68:2

[2] Maharzu, ad loc

[3] Likutei Moharan I:155; Alter of Kelm in Chochmah U’Mussar II:153

[4] Chochmah U’Mussar, Ibid

[5] Moed Katan 18

[6] Nesivei Ohr, p. 173-174, 179

Hashem’s Elect

The Chovos Halevavos, zt”l, writes that there are many conditions that must be fulfilled before one attains genuine love of Hashem. One of these prerequisites is that one is submissive before those who fear Hashem and who are His elect.
He adds, “No generation or country is devoid of an appropriate teacher to impart avodas Hashem.
The Alter of Kelm., zt”l, takes this a step further, “Even if one is truly a scholar and tzaddik, if he is in disagreement with the sages of the generation he will not be accepted on high either. And this is true even if he happens to be right and they are wrong.”
When Rav Tzvi Broide, zt”l, from Salant, passed away, Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, commented, “Some hold that each person’s heavenly tribunal that serves his final judgment comprises the departed sages of his generation. According to this, people must be especially careful in hilchos Shabbos, since Rav Tzvi was very strict in hilchos Shabbos...”
The Alter of Kelm, made a similar statement when Rav Yisrael Salanter passed away. “As is well known Rav Yisrael Salanter was very particular about middos; indeed this made up most of what he spoke about. It follows that now that he has joined the heavenly courts, people should make correcting bad middos a big priority in their lives.”
In the words of the Vilna Gaon, zt”l, “In every generation the world is run based on a particular midah. All of their actions and the way they comport themselves is according to this middah.”

Withholding One’s Blessings

The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, discusses the awful consequences of being penny-pinching. “Miserliness is a reprehensible middah. Rabbeinu Yonah teaches that this defect is the source of all bad middos, since a person afflicted with it is liable to do any evil to avoid paying money. One who is enthralled with making money will eventually fall into very low places. His greed will make it easy for him to lose touch with what is important, as Rabbeinu Tam writes in Sefer Hayashar.
“Kayin was one of the first human beings and was clearly very spiritually developed. He understood why we bring korbanos from his own intellect and he brought a sacrifice. In addition, Kayin knew that only Hevel’s sacrifice was pleasing to Hashem.
The Alter continued, “Nevertheless, despite all of his advantages, Kayin killed his brother. What caused this? His lack of open-handedness, since if he had been generous, his korban would have been accepted. Kayin reasoned that beauty in serving Hashem was unnecessary, since the main thing is one’s intention. If what Hashem wants is what is in a person’s heart, why waste resources?
“Although this is true regarding someone who has nothing or very little to give, it is an error for one who has more means to use this an excuse. He should give what he has, in accordance with his means, to Hashem. It is only by bringing the best we can that we show that we are willing to give anything we have for Hashem.”
This is the meaning of Moshe’s words to Yisrael: “When you ascend to the land, sacrifice yashrus, not chovos.” This teaches that one should bring a sacrifice which is fitting, not a cheap offering that is below his means.
But the Bamidbar Yehudah, zt”l, explains differently. “Moshe was telling them the right way to approach Hashem. We must always focus on yashrus, what is righteous about the Jewish people. Never chovos, their sins or deficiencies.”

Developing the Positive

The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, explained that even positive attributes that one was born with require work. “The good character traits also require development. If a person does not work to build up the good—and even more so if he acts contrary to a good middah—it atrophies and is eventually completely ruined. Later, even if he desires to arouse the good, it will be virtually impossible and he will have to start cultivating it as if he had never had it in the first place.
He explained further, “Every quality has a particular ‘statute of limitations’ during which it can still be revived even if its strength has waned. But if one does not begin to work on awakening these positive attributes while there is still time, it will be too late. This is another meaning of the verse, 'ככלות כוחינו אל תעזבינו'—‘Do not allow us to wait until we are abandoned and cannot really rectify the damage we have done...”
Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, explained this with a vivid parable. “It is well known that if one sits on his hand or foot and stops circulation by avoiding any movement it is only a matter of time until he can no longer use the motionless limb no matter what he does to restore its vitality. Emunah is no different than the physical world in this regard. If one does not develop his emunah or any a positive character trait due to his laziness or any other reason, it dissolves into nothingness and unfortunately writhers and dies.”

The Ashes of Humility

One time a group of young men were traveling with Rav Gershon of Yadnik, Hy”d, when they met with a man who obviously suffered terribly. They stopped to speak to him and he described his excruciating pain. As he finished explaining what he experienced, he commented, “In all six thousand years of creation there has never been a person who suffered as much as I do.”
Rav Gershon comforted him for a long time to the amazement of the bochurim. When he finally went on his way Rav Gershon commented, “Look at the power of arrogance. As if it was not bad enough that he suffers, he is also a ba’al gavah who believes he is unique in all of history!”
The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, explains, “The verse in Mishlei states, 'גאות אדם תשפילנו'—‘A man’s arrogance lowers him.’ Why? Because when we find that a person has arrogance this is a sign that he is on a low spiritual level. Clearly he lacks a desire to better himself spiritually, since if he was longing to attain the next level he would not be filled with arrogance. One who understands that he must advance cannot entertain pride since he knows that he is not complete. This is why one who indulges in this disgusting character trait is lowered. Hashem diminishes him so he should be ashamed of his low level.”
The Maharal, zt”l, explains that this is the lesson of Terumas Hadeshen. “One should never feel that if he removes his arrogance and makes himself as דשן, ash, by humbling himself he is lowered. Quite the contrary, he is uplifted. As the verse states, 'והרים את הדשן'.
“The rule is that one who humbles himself is uplifted while one who is arrogant is lowered. If one nullifies his arrogance and is nothing in his eyes like ash, he ascends on high and is one with Hashem.”

“According to His Path”

The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, gave a very decisive lesson about how we should comport ourselves at all times. “'חנוך לנער על פי דרכו...'. From this verse we see that each youth must be educated in the right path for him. We can understand from this that every person must vigilantly educate himself to act as is fitting in each situation.
“For example, we certainly must speak with restraint and are better off not speaking in front of one who is older and has more experience as we find in Avos. But that does not apply to those who scoff the Torah and its values. Regarding such people we must certainly speak if we can do so with understanding, enabling others to see how false their opinions are.
“As we find in Meseches Derech Eretz, one must not be sad where people are joyous or overtly happy when people are sad. We must learn to speak with talmidei chachomim as is fitting and with the ignorant in a different manner. To those who are truly wise and will appreciate it, we should give moral direction to help them improve. We must refrain from giving the ignorant rebuke since this will not help. On the contrary, they will resent such intrusion and react angrily.
“The same is true in every regard. Sometimes one action is appropriate and other times we must act in the exact opposite manner. We must learn how to deal with the challenges of every encounter. Sometimes the best path is to pretend to fall asleep. Sometimes, we must act with decisiveness. In other situations it is better to be deliberate. The main thing is to learn how to act in each situation and educate ourselves slowly but surely to improve.”

The Power of Longing

Rav Nosson of Breslov, zt”l, explains that all avodah is predicated on lighting a fire in one’s heart and understanding that we can accomplish whatever spiritual goal we set for ourselves. In the words of the Alter of Kelm, zt”l, “Greatness of the heart is a foundation of every Jew’s avodah, since everything, both material and spiritual is predicated on it. Consider the manner in which the Mishkan was fashioned. How could these Jews, who had been slaves all their lives, craft such beautiful workmanship? The answer is that their hearts was filled with a fiery desire to build the house of Hashem. This was so powerful that they cried, ‘Yes, we can!’
“This took such surprising courage in the sense of strong-heartedness that Moshe himself was surprised to see it. As the verse states, 'וירא משה והנה עשו ככל הצוה ה''—‘And Moshe saw that, behold, they had done as all that Hashem had commanded.’ The word ‘behold’ is superfluous. It serves to express Moshe’s wonderment that such untrained laborers achieved results.
“Where did this strength come from? It emerged from the fiery longing in their hearts to do the will of Hashem at all costs. This desire stems from one’s understanding, since there is no longing without awareness. Yet arousing this fire also depends on how we act on our holy desire. As we push ourselves to act we will achieve siyaata d’Shmaya and expand our yearning and achieve more and more amazing results.”

The Rama, zt”l, provides a wondrous explanation of the placement--and the avodah--of the laver. “The Tzror Hamor, zt”l, teaches that a person must wash away all spiritual filth, as we find in Yeshayah, 'רחצו הזכו'. It is for this reason that Hashem commanded us to make the laver and place water in it. Anyone who wishes to come close to Hashem and enter the environs of the Shechinah must first remove the foreign ideologies that defile both his body and his soul. Based on this, we can understand why the kior was fashioned from mirrors. Washing ourselves represents the self-examination that is the prerequisite of true internal change. This is also why we find that the kior was positioned a bit south of the altar. The southern side where the menorah stood alludes to wisdom, as we find in Bava Basra. Purifying one’s mind and attitude requires wisdom.”
Negative attitudes and false perspectives are easily overlooked. We must check our reflection carefully: Do things we say, although they are well meant, sometimes have a subtle tone of kefirah or leitzanus to them? When we have a question, are we sure to phrase it in a way that does not betray a lack of respect for the sages?
A certain person once asked the Alter of Kelm, zt”l, a very penetrating question. Based on his understanding there was a clear contradiction in the sources that could not be reconciled. Although the Alter often fielded such difficult questions, he felt that the way the question was phrased revealed a kernel of apikorsus in the questioner’s heart. He immediately called out this young but brilliant student on his false beliefs and expelled him from the Talmud Torah when he would not recant.
Years later this very same student—now a famous gadol—always related with the greatest respect to the Alter. It was clear that he had no claim against the harsh treatment he had received. On the contrary, he understood that the Alter had been correct and changed himself for the better.

Mind over Matter

The Sefer HaChinuch explains that the body is likened to an animal which should be under the command of the mind, which is the real essence of the person. This is one reason why we do semichah on sacrifices. We lean on them with our entire strength to show that the animalistic body was formed to support our intellect, nothing more.
Sadly, some people are likened to animals as Rashi explains in Yonah. Hashem tells Yonah why Ninveh was spared, 'ואני לא אחוס על נינוה העיר הגדולה אשר יש בה...ובהמה רבה'--'Shall I not have pity on Ninveh, the great city which has in it...many beasts?' Rashi explains that the “many beasts” of Ninveh are people who are like animals since they do not recognize Hashem who created them.
The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, once said, “Everything can be divided into four categories: inanimate, plant, animal, and human. When plant life decomposes, it reverts to inanimate substance and the same is true of the other categories. Similar to physical death, when a human being lowers himself and acts without the guidance of his mind, for that moment he lets go of his human character and falls into an animal state. Even when a person is alone he should be ashamed of such a debasement of his higher self.
“One may wonder, then, why people are not ashamed to act in ways that are surely the opposite of intelligent! The answer is that since so many comport themselves this way, before whom should one feel embarrassed? Other people who also act no better than animals?”

Slaughtering in the North

The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, explained that honor is dangerous for even the greatest tzaddik. “It is clear from the command, 'והצנע לכת עם ה' אלוקיך'--'And walk humbly with Hashem your G-d'--that honor makes an impression on even the greatest person. It is human nature to willingly trade the eternal honor afforded to those who keep Torah and mitzvos for honor in this world—even honor bestowed by people of insignificant spiritual stature or even lacking worldly fame. A person is naturally drawn to do whatever it takes to get a little honor, even a heinous sin if necessary! It is for this reason that the verse must warn us to be as modest as possible in our avodah.”
“Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, would always hide as much of his avodah as possible,” the Alter recounted. “The midrash regarding Shmuel HaNavi applies to him equally: ‘Look at this creation which I created in My world. All other humans work to magnify their name, while he toils to diminish his name.”
Rav Dovid of Skver, zt”l, learned just this behavior from a Mishnah we say during korbanos. “We say each day during davening, 'איזהו מקומן של זבחים? קדשי קדשים שחיטתן בצפון'. The Mishnah alludes to the best way to serve Hashem. It directs us that 'שחיטתן בצפון'. The best place to serve Hashem is to do whatever good he can and slaughter his evil impulses in צפון. In addition to meaning on the norther side this word also means hidden, as in צפון in the Haggadah. This teaches that specifically mitzvos done privately overcome our natural desire for honor, and they are in the category of kodesh kodashim. Precisely these mitzvos are the highest avodah.”

The Power of the Community

Our sages teach a fascinating parable: “A king was angry at his beloved friend. Because of his love, he minimized his friend’s wrongdoing.” Rashi explains that this beloved friend is the tzibbur. The Maharal explains that a tzibbur is not rendered unworthy of Hashem’s regard by sin in the same way that an individual is. One reason a tzibbur is cherished is because when they work together, they can perfect themselves with relative ease. The bigger the tzibbur, the easier the change—if there is a sincere desire and unity among them.
The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, stressed the advantage of working on one’s defects together with a tzibbur over working alone. “The foundation of working on our middos is to repair our congenital moral weaknesses. To do this, we must know the truth of how our negative traits fool and us influence our actions. Since by nature we all tend to overlook our inherent weaknesses, we are much better off working together with like minded-friends, who can offer objective views of our challenges and responses. Without friends to help us see the truth, we could easily declare a sheretz ritually pure. Left to our own devices, we can invent endless rationalizations.
“Just as Hashem imbued the world with the principle of interdependence—every person both contributes and receives from others materially—the same is true in spiritual matters. It is impossible to truly rectify our middos without help from our friends. Here in Kelm everyone works with his friend to help rectify their collective faults. I am very moved and amazed by the vast progress the students have made over time due to this seder. This is exactly what Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, told us to do when we were with him in Kovno. What a pity that it took us so long to follow his instructions and develop a practical program so that we could all work together!”

The Unique Event

The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, explains how important the memory of receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai is for our emunah. “See what Moshe said to the entire nation: 'שאל נא לימים הראשונים השמע עם...מדבר מתוך האש'. If we consider this we will understand that our Torah—which was eventually copied by the nations, as the Rambam writes—was given to all of us in fire.
“Go and investigate if there is another nation who claims to have received their tradition in front of every man, woman, and child. Every Jew heard and saw the voice of Hashem speak from within the fire. Why didn’t any other nation make this compelling claim? The simple answer is that they could not. The only thing that would sound plausible is if a so-called prophet claims to have received a vision, possibly with a few disciples as witnesses. This is certainly impossible to verify, unlike our claim that everyone was there, which can easily be checked. Surely it is impossible to convince anyone of this claim if there is not huge evidence corroborating it. If people did not find evidence for such an outrageous claim everyone would emphatically deny it.
“This claim is enough to build one’s emunah. If we will contemplate its truth each day, our emunah will grow strong. But we must never think that dry knowledge of this fact is enough. Instead we must see this in our mind’s eye each and every day. We must understand that the more we do so, the more this is internalized. This is why we are warned, 'השמר לך פן תשכח...יום אשר עמדת'—‘Guard yourselves lest you forget the day that you stood before Hashem your G-d at Chorev.’”

Taking on the Yoke of Heaven

When someone once asked the Divrei Yisrael of Modzhitz, zt”l, why many say l’shem yichud before performing a mitzvah he explained in a wondrous manner. “Our sages teach that, 'אמירתו לגבוה כמסירתו להדיוט'. Although this literally means that one’s pledge for hekdesh is equivalent to handing it over to a person, there is another explanation which answers your question. We explain simply that saying one’s intentions causes the action to already belong on high, and enables him to do it with proper purity. It follows that evil has no part in such a mitzvah since it has already been consigned to Hashem above and this cannot be reversed.”
The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, explained that feeling and showing love for one’s fellow man is the most important way to develop one’s middos. “Our sages famously teach: 'ואהבת לרעך כמוך' is a כלל גדול בתורה. This means that through loving one’s fellow Jew he is able to truly fulfill the Torah. This is because focus on love for one’ fellow slowly diminishes his arrogance and anger which are the products of negative self-love.”
He added, “This is also why we find that during judgment one will be asked whether he has made his friend a king over himself. This is the critical factor in determining how much a person accepted the yoke of heaven.”
This is another way to understand the statement, "אמירתו לגבוה כמסירתו להדיוט". The more completely one gives himself over to his friend, the more effective his words of Torah and tefilah will be.