Spirit of the Law: Month of Nissan

1) “During the entire month of Nissan one does not say Tachanun…” (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 107:1)

The Mekor Chaim, zt”l, explains that Tachanun is usually said in order to bring about the downfall of the sitra achra, the “side” of spiritual impurity. We cast ourselves down to symbolize the descent into the sitra achra, and by the time we come up we have extracted holy sparks from the abyss. By doing this, the hidden light of holiness which has been swallowed by the other side reverts to the side of kedushah.

However, during Nissan—the time of the great miracles of the birth of the Jewish people—the sitra achra has already been subdued and there is no need to do this rectification. On the contrary, not only does the sitra achra have less power, but a little teshuvah during this holy month goes a very long way!

The Chesed L’Avraham, zt”l, writes that between Purim and Pesach we escape the forty-nine levels of impurity a little at a time. Each day, we are removed from a bit more defilement. By the time Rosh Chodesh Nissan arrives, we are sufficiently removed that we don't even need to say Tachanun to be worthy of a true connection with Hashem. As we have already seen, Tachanun clears away our blemishes. The Arizal explains that although our Shemona Esrei is a connection to Hashem, it is incomplete without the Tachanun prayer. It is Tachanun that removes the sins swallowed by the other side that block our ability to really connect with Hashem. First, we do teshuvah. Then we “fall” in order to show that we are rectifying the damage done by our sins. Only after this process is our connection to Hashem through our Shemona Esrei truly consummated, since the sins impeding us have been removed.

During the month of Nissan, we are already elevated to such an extent that we do not need this process to remove the residue from our sins which would otherwise stand in our way. At this time, our teshuvah and dveikus during the Shemona Esrei alone is enough to merit true connection. This is because Hashem has sufficiently removed us from our personal forty-nine levels of defilement that keep us from living the fulfilled and joyous lives that we all instinctively know we should be living. Our ego gets in our way with its harmful pride and we cannot enjoy our blessings. So we go down in Tachanun to represent the fact that we are nothing at all and that nothing is coming to us. We then remove the sparks which the other side grabbed hold of because of our tremendous arrogance. This is why in earlier times people would literally lie prostrate on the ground during the prayer—complete prostration is the embodiment of humility. (Based on Likutei Halachos).

2) “We do not fast during the month of Nissan, even for a Yahrtzeit…” (Ibid., 107:2)

Rav Pinchas of Koretz, zt”l, explains that everything in the natural world comprises an aspect of katnus (“smallness” / “immaturity”) and gadlus (“greatness” / “maturity”). The katnus of the thing is always in inverse proportion with its real significance in the scheme of things. For example, although a day-old calf can already walk, although its katnus state is quite advanced, its gadlus state is spiritually undeveloped. In contrast, a day-old infant can do nothing and must be well swaddled and protected to ensure its survival. Even if it takes a baby as long as two years to master walking, this is still within the range of normal. There is no creature with as undeveloped katnus as a human being. The reason for this is because once a person comes to gadlus, he can come to great levels of gadlus. Mankind rules over all of creation. If he is worthy, a person can even rule over angels!

Sleep is also an aspect of katnus and so there is also a difference between creatures in this area. A horse, for example, sleeps standing up. Most beheimos tehoros sleep on their knees (at least part of the time). A human being, however, lies down to sleep—the most vulnerable and “undeveloped” position. The katnus of the sleep state is in an inverse relationship with the gadlus one attains while awake and mentally active. As the verse says, “chadashim la-b’karim”—“one is renewed each morning.” A person is renewed each day with increased understanding and more maturity. An animal’s mentality is negligible compared with that of a person; their gadlus is limited, so the katnus of their sleep state is far less and they need not lie down.

Another example of the katnus that precedes gadlus is this seemingly endless exile that we are enduring. When Moshiach comes we will merit intensely strong gadlus, and so we must first endure overwhelming katnus at great length. Fasting is also an aspect of katnus as we find in Pri Etz Chaim. For this reason, a bride and groom fast on the day of their wedding, and this is why it is very important to fast in general. Without experiencing the requisite degree of mochin d’katnus, one is unable to receive the mochin d’gadlus that are in store. This is one reason why there are a minimum number of fasts throughout the year. Rav Pinchas of Koretz even recounted that he had known several cases of people who were chronically ill because they had blemished their mochin d’katnus. He told them to fast and they subsequently enjoyed quick recoveries.

During Nissan, we are gifted with an abundance of holiness from on high. This is the wrong time to be fasting to correct the state of katnus. During Nissan, we are in an aspect of gadlus and fasting would only blemish this state. This is true of all fasts except for that of the firstborn on Erev Pesach (see Spirit of the Law—Pesach 113) and the fast of a bride and groom. This latter fast is a very important means of preparing for the couple’s new life together. Without marriage, one is a broken half. We need a fully rectified state of mochin d’katnus to be able to receive this intense gadlus for life called marriage. Even though we are in an aspect of gadlus in Nissan, our level before marriage compared with our level after marriage is like entering the greatest gadlus from the greatest katnus. Therefore, a bride and groom should fast on the day of their wedding.

3) “During Minchah of Shabbos Hagadol, one should recite the Haggadah instead of Barchi Nafshi since this Shabbos was the beginning of the miracles and the salvation…” (Ibid., 170:3)

Rav Nosson, zt”l, writes that all miracles come in the merit of Shabbos. This is because all miracles are a result of Hashem’s special providence over the whole world which is an aspect of the world to come. Shabbos is a mini-taste of the world to come in this world. Therefore, all miracles come from Shabbos, and this is why the miracles and the salvation of Pesach started on Shabbos.

This Shabbos is called Shabbos Hagadol since miracles are referred to as “gadol”—“great things.” (We see this in the verse: “Recount to me the great things that Elisha wrought.” [Melachim II:8:4]) All of these miracles were achieved in the merit of the special providence that is drawn into the world on Shabbos.

Elevating a Departed Soul

During the year that Rav Kovalsky ztz”l (Rosh Kollel of Sochatchov, and one of the students of the Chazon Ish ztz”l) was in mourning for his father, he arrived at the large shul one morning wanting to pray at the amud. It being the case that many minyanim follow one after the other there, and many people have a “chiyuv,” one naturally has to wait his turn, to grab an amud that isn’t already spoken for, and to wait there until the minyan finishes up so that a new one can begin. Rav Kovalsky stood and waited his turn, but in the meanwhile, he caught sight of an elderly man who had just finished davenning, who had very slowly removed his tefillin and folded his tallis, and who was now standing and asking someone, anyone, to help him home. But who has time for that on a busy morning, when everyone is rushing to finish up their prayers so they can get their day started? And this poor old man was looking at all the people streaming by him with pleading eyes and outstretched, trembling hands, but they ignored him. Rav Kovalsky pulled himself out of line, approached the old man, and gently took him by the hand. The elderly Jew took hold of it with his shaking hand, and they began their walk home together.
It was quite a long walk, they took a round-about way, and the old man walked at a snail’s pace. All the while, Rav Kovalsky murmured under his breath, “This should be for the elevation of my father’s soul…” Finally, they reached the old man’s home. He offered an emotional thanks to Rav Kovalsky, but the Rav’s job wasn’t yet over. Rav Kovalsky graciously supported the old man on his slow walk up the stairs. It was only when the man was safely inside his home that Rav Kovalsky turned back to the shul to catch the very last minyan, where another man had already taken over leading the prayers. This was the only time that Rav Kovalsky ever missed leading the minyan when he had a chiyuv to do so.
That night, Rav Kovalsky’s father appeared to him in a dream. “I’m willing to forgo every prayer of yours before the amud,” he said, “…as long as you do mitzvos like that in their stead!”

Clouded Understanding

The Midrash tells a very striking story about how overindulgence in wine can warp one’s understanding: “When a drunk is inebriated he sits joyfully as though in Gan Eden. There was a pious man whose father drank publicly, much to the humiliation of his son. The pious man said, ‘Father, I will purchase fine wine and bring it to your house if you will only stop frequenting bars. When you go to such places you shame me and yourself.’ Each day he would bring his father spirits to drink in the morning and the evening. When his father would pass out, the son would place him in bed to sleep it off.
“One rainy day, as the upstanding man walked through the market on his way to shul, he noticed a drunk lying in the middle of the market place. Water was streaming over him as children hit him and threw dirt in his face and stuffed it in his mouth. The son thought, ‘I will bring my father here. Seeing the shame of this drunk will finally cure him of his obsession to drink wine.’ When his elderly father witnessed this spectacle, he bent down to the drunk and asked, ‘Tell me, my friend. In which pub did you procure such potent liquor?’ The mortified son cried, ‘Father is that what I brought you here for? Do you not see the incredible embarrassment this man suffers because of his habit?’
“The elderly father replied, ‘My son, I have no pleasure in life besides drinking. This is my Gan Eden.’”
Hashem yishmereinu!

The Community is Pure!

Rav Hirsch zt”l explains that the korbanos express the elevation of our moral free will up to the Will of Hashem. The fact that the tum’as meis of an individual impedes his ability to offer a sacrifice is a function of his coming face-to-face with his own physical mortality. What sets the community as a whole apart is that the tzibbur never dies. The material bodies of its members may disappear in death, but their moral free will, their G-dly spirit, go on living together, united for eternity as the soul of the tzibbur that transcends generations. For this reason if most of the community is defiled they may bring their korban Pesach in impurity.
In a conversation with Professor Blumenthal, the head of the Ophthalmology Department at Assouta hospital, Rav Shach zt”l once said: “You should know, if a person is not observant, he lives for seventy or eighty years and dies like a beast. They stick him into the ground, and the worms devour his flesh. He, himself, becomes nothing more than a worm…”
The professor was perplexed. “I don’t follow you. Even an observant person eventually dies, is buried, and decays.”
Rav Shach smiled and gently reproved him. “No, no! Let me explain myself. You could compare this to a man who riding a donkey—the animal suddenly collapses beneath him and dies. What will the man do? He’ll get up off the animal and keep on going. The scavengers will come and devour the donkey’s body, but they have no interest in the man!”
“Don’t you understand? For us, the main thing is the soul. It acquires the merit of Torah and mitzvos while it travels in this world, and when the body dies, the soul gets up and continues on its journey to the next world, where it is rewarded. You, on the other hand, are only interested in the physical world of the body. When it breaks down and disintegrates, what will remain?”

A New Man

“The individual’s obligation to bring a korban Pesach can be deferred until Pesach sheini, but not the community’s.” Rav Tzaddok HaKohen zt”l explains that a personal flaw caused the individual to miss bringing the korban in its time, and it is only an intensely personal teshuvah that will make him worthy once again of bringing it. This is why Moshe Rabbeinu could not answer the painful question of that first group to miss the offering: “Why should we be deprived of the opportunity to offer Hashem’s sacrifice?” Because their question is the quintessential cry of the baal teshuvah, and only Hashem Himself can answer it. What have we done wrong to deserve becoming tamei l’meis and losing the ability to bring the korban, and how can we possibly correct it? According to the letter of the law, there should not be another opportunity, but the broken-hearted plea to rejoin the holy Jewish people is itself teshuvah. The individual becomes a new man, one who is indeed worthy of bringing the korban.
Dr. Gordon zt”l, a close contemporary of the Maggid of Mezritch and a famous baal teshuvah, once came to the Maggid for advice. He found that thoughts about his former sinful life would sometimes return to haunt him, and he wanted to know how to be free of them. The Maggid offered a parable:
“A Jew once owned a tavern, and the peasants used to come around and drink—they would even show up quite late at night, disturbing the poor man’s rest. After some time, the Jew decided to leave that business and took up selling lumber. He was very successful and led a wonderful life…except for one small problem. The locals continued to come around to his home in the middle of the night, demanding their drink! The Jew persevered; each time it happened, he would patiently tell them that he had left the business, and eventually they learned that they had no reason to keep on pestering him.”
“You, my friend, must do the same thing. Every time these disturbing thoughts come to knock on the walls of your heart, you have to repeat over and over again: I am not the same anymore—I am a new man, and I have nothing to do with such thoughts! Eventually, they will stop coming around.”

The Importance of Rebuke

In the synagogue of Radin, a sign hung on the wall: “Anyone who dares to raise his hand against his friend will be placed in cherem!” Once, a notorious bully beat another Jew viciously and the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, instructed the shamash to punish the offender accordingly. Fearing a reprisal, the shamash conveniently absented himself from shul for the following tefillah.
As soon as the Chofetz Chaim noticed the absence of the shamash, he took matters into his own hands. The gadol ascended the bima himself and declared, “In order to fulfill the mitzvah of ‘fearing no man,’ (Devarim 1:17) I hereby pronounce so-and-so in cherem until he repents and asks forgiveness!”
A few hours later, the bully entered the shul in a contrite frame of mind, admitted his sin before everyone, and publicly begged forgiveness of his victim!
The Chofetz Chaim often directed other Rabbonim to actively rebuke their congregations. He would say, “Picture the heavenly judgment of an average baal habayis. The court will ask him if he set aside time for Torah study, and he will also be asked all the other questions normally put before the deceased. The defendant will offer various excuses but none will be accepted because the heavenly court knows the absolute truth. Finally, the baal habayis will try to exonerate himself by saying that the rav of his community never told him anything was wrong! And this excuse will be accepted to a certain degree because you never rebuked your flock. Why allow the sins of all those people to rest on your shoulders?”

Engagement and Marriage

The importance of marriage cannot be overstated. The Shem Mishmuel, zt”l, once said, “Torah is compared to a wife since Torah learning also brings one to completion.”
It is customary to make a party celebrating one’s engagement. Once, when someone invited Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, to such a celebration, he called it an eirusin.
Rav Aurebach gently corrected him. “Although many refer to this celebration by that name, people should not do so. Eirusin refers to the first stage of marriage.”
When he gave a gift to Hebrew speakers celebrating such an affair, Rav Auerbach would refer to it as “kishrei shiduchin.” Of course, many refer to it by the Yiddish word “vort,” which means “word.”
Once, at an engagement party, someone commented that presumably the reason why many call an engagement party a “vort,” is because the groom gives a d’var Torah which is often interrupted.
But another guest brought a different rationale in the name of Rav Simcha Bunim Leiberman, shlit”a. “He explains that the name signifies that a person has finally come to completion, since a vort or dibur must be complete. We can extrapolate this from the gemara which brings the verse, "על פי שלשה עדים יקום דבר"—“through the testimony of [two or] three witnesses will the matter [davar] be established...” It then explains that witnesses must testify regarding a ‘davar,’ a full matter, but not a ‘half davar.’ In this sense, calling it the Yiddish word for davar can allude to completion. It is well known that the Zohar teaches that until a man is married he is likened to half a body. It is his task to search for his basheret, as we find in Kedushin 2: ‘This is comparable to one who loses an object. Just as he must work to find it, so must a man must seek out his match.
He concluded, “Now that the chasan is finally becoming a davar, a complete person, it is fitting to call this celebration a vort!”

Spirit of the Law: Fast of Esther

2) On the thirteenth of Adar the Jews gathered together to defend their lives…Yisrael accepted this day as a fast day…

The Magid Meisharim told the Beis Yosef, zt"l one reason why we fast before Purim, "…to inoculate from the natural pitfalls of indulging in rich food and alcohol. [Fasting] prevents one from sin often caused by abundant food and drink and levity.”

The Tsefanas Paneach adds that the fast subdues the Amalek within and we have a chance to fulfill in a holy manner the halacha to get so drunk on Purim that we will not know the difference between Arur Haman and Baruch Mordehai.

The Liutey Halachos states that fasting can bring us to feel holy embarrassment which is the prerequisite of holy humility and drawing powerful vitality into one’s day. This holy bashfulness enables one to internalize that all food is from Hashem and undeserved. How can one consume more food than required? Doesn’t one realize that the entire strength of the yetzer hara stems from overeating?

Learning with Pleasure

Very many gedolim would learn with a heartfelt melody such that anyone who overheard them could feel how enraptured they were with their studies. Interestingly, this was part of the test to see if one was worthy of entering the Yeshivah of the Vilna Gaon, zt”l. One was given a piece of Gemara to learn and review for several hours, and if after all that time the prospective student was still learning with the same nigun of enthusiasm as when he started, it proved that he was worthy of joining the Gaon’s Yeshivah.
Many years ago, a certain masmid in Camp Morris in the Catskills would spend the entire day learning devotedly, and his nigun was a pleasure for all to hear. One day, a member of the cleaning staff commented to someone passing by, “That guy doesn’t do nothing but sing the whole darned day!” The young man was clearly enjoying himself so thoroughly that the man was convinced that he was just “goofing off!”
When Rav Shmuel Huminer, zt”l, went to see Rav Eliyashav, ylt”a, he was very impressed with how completely immersed in his learning the gadol was. Rav Huminer would tell everyone he met, “He sounds literally like a malach!” This is the kind of learning that produces gedolei Yisrael.

The Gaon's Midos

The Torah Temimah, zt”l, told the story of a certain elderly man named Reb Binyomin whom he had once met as a child. This Reb Binyomin was of exceedingly old age, and it was well known that he was not particularly cautious about getting chilled or overheated. In other words, he didn’t take the normal precautions that even younger people do to safeguard their health, much less the great care that is normally taken by the elderly.
His acquaintances once tried to bring the matter to his attention, but to no avail. Reb Binyomin responded, “Unlike other people, I am not concerned about such matters. People, with good reason, worry that they might get overheated or catch cold and die, but I am confident that the blessing that was fortunate enough to receive from the Vilna Gaon, zt”l, will ensure me of a very, very long life.”
“I was a little boy when the Gaon was still alive, and I used to go to pray in his beis medrash. One time, after the prayers, the Gaon paced the floor of the beis medrash sunk deeply in his thoughts. On that day, I too was pacing the floor deeply immersed in reciting Tehillim, and without realizing it, the Gaon and I ran right into one another.
“I was completely dumbfounded that I had knocked into the holy Gaon, and stood there paralyzed in shock. Little did I realize that the Gaon could not move away from me either—because I was standing on his tzitzis! Eventually, the Gaon saw how confused and terrified I was and he had pity on me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and said lovingly, ‘You should live long, my son, but please…let my tzitzis go.’
“When the matter became known in the beis medrash and later in the city, people looked at me as if I was a rare find—a child that had been graced by the attentions and the blessing of the great tzaddik. My parents even made a great celebration that day and distributed charity to the poor!”

Audio Class for Women: Purim #2

Yehudis' Sunday night shiur can be accessed here. Thanks, Dixie Yid!
This lesson wrapped up lesson #1, which was on Likutei Moharan II:74 and I:10. Ample anecdotes and jokes, and then a discussion of Parshas Zachor according to Reb Nosson.

Learning Consideration

The Alter of Slobodka, zt”l, was well known to be a mechanech par excellence. He always noticed what others did and would issue moral direction in exactly the right manner to help the student. His incredible success attests to his acumen. So many prominent rabbis and poskim emerged from Slobodka, that the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, remarked that he was jealous of the Alter. When the surprised hearers asked why, the Chofetz Chaim replied, “I write seforim but he makes mentschen!”
One time the Alter was walking behind a bochur in the street when he noticed the young man go to the side of the sidewalk, stoop to the ground, and pick up a paper. After he gazed at the paper for no more than an instant he replaced it on the ground.
The Alter approached and requested that he explain his strange behavior.
“I noticed that the paper was printed in Hebrew and I figured it was sheimos from a holy sefer and required genizah. But it only took a moment to realize that the paper was not sheimos at all—far from it—and I put it back on the side. After all, it is very much to the side and no one will be damaged by it.”
The Alter looked at him gravely and gently said, “Tell me, what is the halachah for someone who causes his friend to fall to the ground?”
“He is responsible for all damage incurred to the person,” the young man replied.
“How did you fail to realize that another person may very well walk by and also mistakenly think this page is sheimos and bend over for nothing to lift up this paper? By throwing it back down—despite the fact that no one will physically trip over it—you have fashioned a bor b’reshus harabim. This is a stumbling block for your friend since what difference does it make if the bor makes a person fall to the ground or bend over for naught? The moment you picked up the paper and noticed that it was not sheimos, you should have kept it to throw in the garbage to save another some trouble!”

Purim Audio Classes for Women

Yehudis' Sunday night class on Breslov chassidus for women can be accessed here.
Anecdotes from Siach Sarfei Kodesh, Likutei Moharan II:74 and I:10.
Enjoy!

Out of Harm’s Way

The Shelah Hakadosh, zt”l, exhorted us to be vigilant never to harm another. “In Berachos we find that Chanah pleaded with Hasehm, ‘Master of the universe, nothing in Your creation was made in vain: eyes to see with, ears to hear, and a nose to smell with. You created a mouth to speak with, hands to do labor, and feet to go places...’ We see that everything has a purpose for which it should be used. How much more so should we refrain from causing damage, since one who does so is even worse than one who sits around doing nothing…”
The Chazon Ish, zt”l, was well known for his remarkable ability to solve any problem by virtue of the Torah’s wisdom. People were astounded by his erudition and his ability to understand any topic—from psychology to surgery—from his Torah learning. This was not only a result of his diligence or his breadth of knowledge. He merited this because every detail of his life was addressed according to the Torah’s dictates. Even the simplest action was carefully considered to ensure that it was in accordance with the Torah.
Rav Yechezkel Bertler, shlit”a, recounted: “Even the most mundane matter like walking through the streets reminded the Chazon Ish of Torah. Whenever he walked on a street without a sidewalk, he would veer to the side of the road as cars approached. He would always explain why with the same wry comment, “Perhaps the driver has forgotten the Tosafos in Bava Kama 23 that states that one must be even more careful to guard against damaging another than to guard his own self from sustaining damage.”
In this way he fulfilled his obligation to safeguard his own life while reminding himself and whoever accompanied him of this powerful lesson!

Spirit of the Law: Purim 141:6

(Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 141:6) “On Purim…one says Al HaNissim.”
Reb Nosson, zt”l, explains that the “Al HaNissim” prayer was instituted because we overcame the kingdom of Yavan and the evil Haman, who were jealous of us and wanted to keep us from serving Hashem. Haman didn’t even want any Jew to be left alive! However, Hashem in His great mercy didn’t abandon us. He turned our grief and anguish into joy. Not only did they fail abysmally, but we gained two holy festival—Chanukah and Purim—which have sustained us throughout our long exile. We see, then, that their very attempt to destroy us has actually been the means through which we have gained the strength we need to survive until the redemption. The events that led up to our deliverance have made us worthy of receiving new and powerful spiritual illuminations and new mitzvos: the lighting of the menorah, recitation of Hallel, and the special Torah readings on Chanukah; and the reading of the megillah, sending of mishloach manos, contributions to the poor, and the festival meal and drinking on Purim.
The descent turned into an ascent—this is the character of Chanukah and Purim, and it can also be true for everyone, all the time. Every day, and at every moment, Hashem is orchestrating events in the most miraculous way to prevent us from falling completely. On the contrary, He turns all of our falls into ascents if we are only willing and try our best to begin again. This is the essence of doing teshuvah our of love—through which all of our sins are transformed into merits. This is how we can rise ever higher in our service of Hashem!

Spirit of the Law: Purim #5

Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 141:5
“The custom is to use a half-coin of whatever currency is customary in one’s area. This is to commemorate the half-shekel that was donated for the communal sacrifices in the time of the Beis Hamikdash. The custom is to give three such half-coins since the offering is mentioned three times in parshas Ki Tisa.”
The Arizal taught that, at first, only G-dliness was revealed, but since Hashem wanted to create the world so that we would have free choice, He constricted the revelation of Himself. The Ramchal writes that this means that Hashem “veiled” the revelation of Himself so we would not be overwhelmed. If there was too much revealed G-dliness, we would not have any free choice at all. Everything would be clear to us and doing something evil would be like doing something truly destructive to ourselves. If we knew what sin does to us and how it prevents us from ascending to Hashem, we would never sin. It is only because of the fact that G-dliness is hidden that we have a choice to pay no attention to what we intuitively know is right and do evil. This veiling can be compared to a candle which is in front of a person. No matter how many veils are placed between the person and the candle, it still gives off the same light. It is just very well hidden from the person.
If G-dliness was veiled too much, however, we would not be able to act properly. Our instincts would rule us so strongly that we would have no choice but to act in an animalistic way.
In Likutei Moharan, Rebbe Nachman zt”l, cites a Talmudic teaching that every person is a whole world. This means that every aspect revealed about the creation of the world relates to each person individually. In that lesson, he discusses the fact that every Jew has burning desire for G-d in his heart that is endless—literally, “to the Ein Sof.” However, this burning desire to join one’s Source is so powerful sometimes that it is paralyzing. Sometimes this fire then burns the other way, and one feels a fervent longing for some material thing or experience. This is the reflection of the Divine Endless Illumination (אור אין סוף) in each of us. It is our job to constrict this fire and create vessels to contain it and work with it so that we can accomplish what we need to. We have to learn to sit down and focus on what needs to be done and can be done right now. That might mean learning something, or praying, or performing an act of kindness. However, constricting one’s inner fire and longing for Hashem even for good purposes can result in the generation of distracting thoughts and feelings. If that happens, one must use the tools that Rebbe Nachman taught about to re-direct one’s thoughts. (This has been discussed at length in other postings.)
This is how Reb Nosson, zt”l, explains the concept of the machatzis hashekel, the half-shekel offering. We give a half-shekel to represent that building the Mishkan (the original reason why we gave the offering) or donating money for a communal sacrifice (our prayers and Torah study are both compared to communal sacrifices, as chazal tell us). When building holiness, we need to “halve” our burning desire to serve Hashem, to constrict our endless yearning so that we can serve Hashem, each one according to his level.
We give three half-shekalim because this is the amount of times that the offering is mentioned in the parshah. Of course, doing this once is not enough. We must keep on doing this until it is second nature and we are not allowing our fiery desire for our Source to hinder us in our journey to Hashem. Most spiritual backsliding happens to those who, in a sudden burst of enthusiasm, take on more than they can handle. “Take hold of too much and you have taken hold of nothing.” Doing a little at a time is the way to go.
Once, a certain chassid was sitting with a group of chassidim and their Rebbe, the Imrei Menachem of Alexander, zt”l. The chassid told the group, “I was always very busy and I didn’t have a lot of time to learn. However, every day after the morning prayers, I would learn ten minutes of Orach Chaim. After a period of time, I found that I had accumulated a huge reserve of important facts in this vital area of study. I couldn’t believe it! In ten minutes a day I became a talmid chacham!”
This is also a way for us to understand the purpose of Parshas Shekalim and why

Spirit of the Law: Purim #4

[#2 & #3 will be posted closer to Purim b'ezras Hashem.]
Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 141:4
“On Purim one should don Shabbos clothes…”
The Avodas Yisrael, zt”l, writes that the sefirah of Chochmah shines with great clarity on Shabbos. For this reason, the great tzaddikim wrote that it is important to do teshuvah before Shabbos, to become worthy of receiving such a powerful light from on high. One first washes his body, then he immerses in the mikveh, and only then does one don his Shabbos finery in honor of the day and the spiritual light he is about to enjoy. On Shabbos, we are uplifted and are called, “holy unto Hashem.”
In the days of Mordechai and Esther, this illumination was revealed upon them despite the fact that it was a weekday and not Shabbos by virtue of their repentance, and through the fact that the Jews accepted the Torah anew from love. This is the deeper meaning that the Jewish people would continue to observe the days of Purim, “just like the days upon which the Jews rested...” The days of Purim are to be a perpetual observance, for they are like Shabbos, our day of rest.
The essential difference between Shabbos and Purim is that on Shabbos we are elevated to a place where this illumination of Divine providence shines upon us. On Purim, this illumination is drawn upon us at our weekday level. This is why on Shabbos we refrain from creative labor. We are in a place which is an aspect of the next world where no work will be necessary. On Purim, we are living in this world. Even so, Hashem does us the kindness of bestowing the light of His providence upon us and gracing us with closeness to Him. Since this is a kindness of Hashem which has nothing to do with our souls being raised up to higher places, we do not refrain from mundane labor.

spirit of the Law: Month of Adar

Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, Chapter 141, 1

1) From the onset of Adar one should magnify his joy. (Mishenichnas Adar marbim b’simcha.) If a Jew has an altercation with a non-Jew he should take him to court during Adar since it is an auspicious time.

The Ohev Yisrael, zt"l, writes that the word “b’simcha” has the same numerical value as the word “shana,” year.[1] The more b’simcha, joyous, one is during Adar, the more joy one will experience the entire year!

The Chidushei HaRim, zt"l, states that just as we go into the illumination of Tishrei through Elul, we attain the dveikus, or intimate connection with Hashem, of Nisan through Adar. In Adar, our repentance is born of love and is stronger than the teshuva of Elul which is rooted in fear.

The Divrei Shmuel explains the deeper meaning of the preference to take a gentile to court during this month. On a deeper level, this refers to judging the non-Jew within us which is the aspect of Amalek within. One who has difficulty struggling with the negative inside himself (and who doesn’t in our generation?) overcomes this with much greater ease during Adar.

The Chidushei HaRim writes further that Adar is a conjunction of the phrase Aleph-Dar (א-דר=אדר). Aleph refers to Hashem, sometimes known as Alufo Shel Olam, the lofty One of the universe, and dar literally means dwells.[2] This means that during the month of Adar, due to the boundless joy we experience, it is easier for us to become a dwelling place for Hashem.

Chazal say, “One who wishes to preserve his property should plant an Adar on it,” which could mean either planting a type of tree known as an adar, which is usually understood to be a maple, or to plant the tree during the month of Adar. As it says in Tehilim (93:4,) "Adir bamarom Hashem”—“Hashem is All Powerful on High." But what does the verse have to do with securing one’s material wealth? The Chashva L’teshuva, zt"l, explains that the needs of every Jew are allocated from heaven. The reason why people lack is because their heavenly allotment is being withheld. What should one do to avoid losing out, then? “Plant an adar.” Adar refers to one who is steadfast as a mighty maple in his faith that Hashem is All Powerful!

Once, two friends met and one complained to the other that things were very difficult financially. He was literally at the end of his rope and didn’t know what to do or where to turn.

“Well,” responded his friend, “Rebbe Nachman writes that ‘one who is always happy will succeed.’ So I recommend that you strive a to feel happy all the time.”

“But that is one of the most difficult things to do! How can I possibly work towards such a lofty goal?” complained the disgruntled man.

“Nu, what won’t people do to make a living?” his friend answered.


[1] Both equal 355. (ב=2 ש=300 מ=40 ח=8 ה=5 & ש=300 נ=50 ה=5)
[2] To this day an apartment in Hebrew is called a “dirah.”

Life in the Big City

One shochet went to the Divrei Chaim of Sanz, zt”l, for advice. “I live in a small town and eke out a minimal living through my occupation, but have been offered a position in a certain large city. I am really in a quandary whether I ought to accept the new position or continue toughing it out where I am. Perhaps the Rav can advise me.”
The Rav looked at the man in a surprised manner, “What is the question? In a big city you will make an ample living. Furthermore, it is well known that the city which has offered you the position is much more filled with Yiddishkeit than your present town which has a much smaller community. Why would you hesitate for an instant?”
“Well, my question actually stems from the gemara which states clearly that living in a big city is difficult. We are managing. Perhaps this is enough of a reason to turn the job down?”
The Divrei Chaim responded, “That is not what the Gemara means at all. The true meaning is that moving to a big city is very costly since the cost of living is far higher there than it is in a small town. Since not everyone has the money to afford the inflated costs of city life, it is generally a hardship. This doesn’t mean to say that living in a big city is not good. On the contrary, for one who can afford it, it is very good indeed!”

The Defender of Orphans

In January 1903, Rav Shalom Ber of Lubavitch, zt”l, traveled to Vienna with his son, Rav Yosef Yitzchak, zt”l. The next morning, instead of conducting the business for which they had come to Vienna, the Rebbe asked his son if they had any money. Their funds were tight, but since his father obviously needed some money, Rav Yosef Yitzchak went and pawned his silver-headed cane. He gave the proceeds to his father, and the Rebbe left.
Later, a series of deliveries arrived at the hotel, all of them filled with trousseau articles. Rav Yosef Yitzchak assumed they were meant for their family. Later that evening, Rav Shalom Ber returned and told his son to make preparations for another journey. It was only at the station that the Rebbe indicated he wanted to travel to Pressburg. When they arrived, instead of hiring a carriage, Rav Shalom Ber insisted on traveling by foot. While walking down the street, they met a yeshiva bochur who was in a great hurry. When the Rebbe stopped him and asked for directions to a particular hotel, the young man said, “Walk that way and ask someone else. I have no time.”
Rav Shalom Ber asked, “Is this the way you treat strangers?”
The young man felt chided, so he accompanied them. When they arrived at the hotel, they saw that the proprietor’s wife and three daughters were sitting shivah. They checked in, rested, and then the Rebbe headed out for a walk. They soon found themselves at the local yeshiva; the Rebbe spoke in learning to a number of the bochurim (including their guide from the day before), and seemed especially taken with one particularly apt student.
Over the next few days, the Rebbe made several condolence calls to the grieving family under the guise of being a distant relative. Eventually, the Rebbe broached the subject of shiduchim for her two unmarried daughters. The widow moaned, “What can I do for them now?”
The Rebbe made two suggestions: the promising yeshiva student, and the young man whom he had scolded in the street. As for trousseaus, he said, “Why should you worry when I already have everything prepared for them?” Having arranged the two marriages, the Rebbe and his son left Pressburg and returned anonymously to Vienna!

Torah and Reality

Although Rav Yechezkel Abramsky, zt”l, only spent a year in Novhardok, the Alter, zt”l, left an indelible impression on him. At times he recounted with great emotion the Alter’s words to him: “Mustar’l! (This was the Alter’s nickname for Rav Abramsky, since his hometown was Must.) If you want to know how to go through your entire life in this world doing the ratzon Hashem, I will tell you. You must always place upon your heart and know absolutely that there is no real existence except that which is written in the Torah. This is the lesson in Gittin 56. The Gemara tells us that when Rav Yochanan ben Zakai met Vespasian, he greeted him as a king even though he had not ascended to the throne. Vespasian pointed out that Rav Yochanan was liable to the death penalty for calling him king when he was merely a general. Rav Yochanan ben Zakai explained that he knew that Vespasian would be a king because of a verse and a gezeirah shavah that indicate that the one who conquers Yerushalayim will be a king.
The Alter continued, “But how could he take the chance and put his life in danger? We see that when Rav Yochanan ben Zakai approached Vespasian he saw a king. For him, there was no reality besides the Torah!”
The Biala Rebbe, Rebbe, zt”l, applied this same gemara to the following well known story: When the Baal HaTanya, zt”l, was imprisoned, he was interrogated on numerous occasions. One day, the Czar of Russia decided to disguise himself and meet this rabbi to decide for himself if the charges against him were true or false. Despite the fact that he was incognito, the i Baal HaTanya greeted him as one greets a monarch.
“But I am not the Czar, so why are you giving me this honor?”
“But of course your majesty is the Czar,” the Baal HaTanya respectfully parried. “Earthly kingship is likened to heavenly dominion. Just as the heavenly beings are filled with fear and awe, I was filled with awe the moment your majesty entered the cell. Although I was interrogated by a number of noblemen and officers, I never felt such intense fear inspired by any mortal before!”

Aged Wine

The Minchas Elazar, zt”l, would often visit Rav Shlomo Alfandri, zt”l, on Shabbos afternoon. One time, The Rebbe took along a bottle of aged wine of excellent quality so that he could make a l’chayim with Rav Shlomo. A large number of his chassidim joined him as he made his way over to the other Rav’s home. When they arrived, the two great Rabbonim wished one another a warm and heartfelt ‘gut Shabbos,’ and the Rebbe offered Rav Shlomo some of the wine that he had brought.
Rav Shlomo said, “Usually I refrain from wine, since it is not good for my health. I am sure, however, that the Munkatcher Rebbe’s wine will not damage me!” Rav Shlomo drank deeply, and then asked that wine and fruit be set out for the visiting group of chassidim. Everyone there partook of the food and drink that soon appeared on the table.
Rav Shlomo said, “We find in Megillah 16b that Yosef HaTzaddik sent wine that ‘enhances the mind of the wise’ to his father, Yaakov Avinu. This phrase teaches that the mind of the wise is like aged wine. The more they age, the deeper their understanding. The deeper their understanding, the more strength of character they have.”
The Rebbe interjected, “Actually, Rav Shmelke of Nikolsburg, zt”l, said a similar thing on the Gemara in Shabbos 152a. There we see that food helps those younger than forty, and drink helps those over forty. Rav Shmelke said that one who is younger than forty must learn a lesson from food, for it spoils with age. So too, one who is younger than forty must understand that is it only by taking full advantage of every moment of his youth that he will be able to achieve what he needs to in this world. After forty, one should learn a lesson from wine, for it improves with age. So too, the older person must be heartened by the idea that even if he hasn’t attained all that he might have wishes spiritually, his chances are far better now because his mind has developed and he has a deeper understanding than he did when he was younger. If he will only apply himself from now on, he will surely achieve his spiritual goals!”

Rav Shmelke's Humility

On a certain occasion, when Rav Shmelke of Nikolsberg, zt”l, was honored publicly, many townspeople present noted that the Rebbe did not seem affected one iota by the people’s adulation. How could he be so completely unmoved by homage that would have caused anyone else to be carried away by pride? After the public celebration, Rav Shmelke retreated to his room.
One of the followers who had wondered about the Rebbe’s comportment happened to be passing in the hallway just outside the room. As he walked past, he heard a strange voice from within. He couldn’t help but listen at the door and was quite shocked by what he heard.
In a sycophantic tone, one voice cooed, “Rebbe, how awesomely great you are! You are the tzaddik of the generation!” Another then said in a sickeningly sweet tone, “Rebbe, your word is like Toras Moshe M’Sinai!”
Thinking that there was a gathering of followers in the chamber, the chossid outside knocked. He was invited in, but was shocked to find that the room was empty, save for the Rebbe himself. Seeing the man’s clear discomfort, Rav Shmelke said, “Surely you were puzzled to hear me saying such things to myself?”
The man nodded.
The Rebbe continued, “I always find that speaking out the words of praise helps me feel how empty they really are!”

Spirit of the Law: T'u B'Shevat II

On the subject of Tu B’Shevat, the Chidushei HaRim, zt”l, shares a very powerful concept: the “new year’s” judgment of Tu B’shvat primarily determines one’s access to novel Torah concepts (chidushei Torah) for the upcoming year.

Rav Nosson of Breslov, zt”l, writes that there are two levels of chidushei Torah. The first is the joy and rapture of bearing and sharing the fruit of one’s Torah learning, bringing down and sharing novel Torah concepts. This is the spiritual root of the sweetness of fruit to the palate. Without this feeling of sweetness, a person has virtually no genuine connection to Torah even if he or she learns assiduously and innovates novel interpretations. The second, lower, level of chidush is accessing a feeling of renewal and connection from every bit of Torah learning, prayer, and avodah even when there is nothing objectively novel about the concepts in which one is immersed. One still feels a powerful joy and connection, and this is the ultimate fruit of Torah study, as we say in the daily blessing: “Hashem, please make Torah learning sweet in my mouth.”

May we merit renewal and connection every day of the coming year, each person on his own level, in his own way. Tu B’Shevat is the time to pray for newness in Torah, especially in the Oral Torah, since Shevat was the month during which Moshe began to transmit the book of Devarim, which is the nucleus of all Oral Torah. This is the time that Moshe began to “Be’er es haTorah”—“explain the Torah”—but the word for explain is be-er, the well, which parallels the mazal of this month, the D’li, or water-bearer. May Hashem help us all to feel true joy and connection in our efforts to “draw up and pour out” the waters of the Torah! Without the joy, where are we?

Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l had a student who was famous for his diligence as well as his creative thinking; he had the distinction of being both a masmid and a mechadeish. This bochur studied many years under Rav Yisroel, but one day, to the shock and dismay of all the other students, the “prodigy” went off the derech!

When the terrible news was brought to the Rav, he displayed no surprise at all.

“During all the years that I oversaw this student’s progress, I never glimpsed the least glimmer of joy on his face. He worked very hard to grasp the depth of a subject, but it was obvious that he was never really moved by any of his chiddushim. He never allowed himself to be connected to the Torah, and so it was easy for him to fall away!”

Spirit of the Law: T'u B'Shevat I

Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Chapter140 #26) The fifteenth of Shevat is Rosh Hashana for trees...The custom is to eat many different species of fruit on this day.

Rav Nosson of Breslov, zt"l, writes that every human being is always longing for Hashem. A Jew's longing for connection to Hashem is even more powerful. Usually, this longing gets channeled into other areas. People mistakenly think they yearn for money, honor or physical pleasures such as food. Attaining these never satisfies in a lasting way however, since the source, the inner desire for closeness to Hashem has not been addressed, just stifled.

When the Maharil Diskin, zt”l, was asked why the gemara compares the sinners of Israel to a pomegranate, he responded “A pomegranate has a hard exterior upon which no good is noticeable. It is only if you open it up, and delve into it’s depths that one finds the many, many good seeds in the Rimon.” Even if you peel off the outer shell you see only the white insides. You only find the seeds by breaking through the bad. Similarly, every Jew is a neshama kedosha which is always yearning with a powerful longing for his source. "

On Tu B'Shvat the sap begins to rise in trees. It is partially due to this process that the tree later develops in the spring. This is why it is Rosh Hashannah for trees.

The verse states, "Man is as a tree of the field."The "sap" of each person is the hidden inner essence of each person, their fiery longing for Hashem. Like the sap of trees, the inner essence of each person is aroused on Tu B'Shevat. Connecting to our inner longing is the prerequisite for all spiritual growth.

This is one reason we eat fruits on this holy day. We acknowledge the correlation between bearing spiritual fruits and arousing our powerful yearning for Hashem. The more we connect to our powerful inner longing for Hashem, the more spiritual fruit we will bear in the coming year. The less we connect, the more this longing will be misdirected towards the material and the less spiritual growth we will yield. It is our choice.

May Hashem help us to grow and thrive, and bear an abundance of spiritual fruit.

To be continued...

Igniting the Spark Within

The halacha is that on Yom Tov, one may not move an animal that has died. Chazal taught us that a materialistic person is compared to an animal, and they also said that the wicked are considered dead even during their lifetimes. This is because they do not move forward spiritually or morally. A “dead animal” of this kind who doesn’t even feel a spark of life or inspiration on Yom Tov cannot be moved by anything short of a miracle.
A group of maskilim once approached the famous Dubno Maggid, zt”l, with a strange request. “We would like to invite you to lecture to us, provided that you promise that you won’t lace your storytelling with mussar. We aren’t interested in that; we just want to hear a good tale.”
The Maggid heard them out and offered them a parable right then and there. “Once, a man from a small town visited the city for the first time. He saw many things that astonished him, but nothing came close to the wondrous device that the blacksmith used to keep his fires burning bright. The man had never seen a bellows before, and the fantastic apparatus seemed to manufacture fire from nothing at all.
He said to himself, “Such a device could save me so much time! I must get one!”
He bought a bellows off the blacksmith for what seemed a ridiculously low price and brought it back proudly to his little town. He summoned everyone to the middle of the town to demonstrate the magical power of his new acquisition. To his dismay and great shame, however, the bellows would make fire at all—it only blew air!
The simple man returned to the smith fuming with indignation. “How could you sell me this fire-maker when you knew full well that it doesn’t work?”
“What ‘fire-maker?’ This is just a bellows—everyone knows that it blows air that fans a spark into a flame. Am I to blame if you don’t know the simplest truth? If you want a fire, you need a spark!”
The Maggid thundered, “And you maskilim are exactly the same! A story is just like a bellows. Unless you have a spark of willingness to change, there is no moving you at all!”
But when Rav Nosson of Breslov heard this story he said: " Even the worst Maskilim actually do have a small spark within that can be fanned into a roaring flame. But one must know how to reach it..."

Burning Coals

Chazal teach five halachic distinctions between a coal and a flame. At bottom, the difference between the two is that while a flame is transient and ephemeral, a coal is substantial and lasting. This can be understood metaphorically as well—our commitment to Yiddishkeit demands the more permanent and settled warmth of hot coals, rather than the quick flash of enthusiasm that burns brightly but has not basis or substance. And the main thing is to keep the fire inside the coal alive.
Rav Yerucham Levovitz, zt”l, was the Mashgiach in a number of renowned yeshivos at a time when many Jews were unfortunately abandoning the Torah path. There was one bochur in particular who struck the Mashgiach as especially vulnerable, and so he invested many hours trying to inspire and encourage the young man in his observance. This was a never-ending uphill battle since the bochur was beset by a number of family and social influences that were literally driving him away from the Torah.
The struggle continued throughout Elul, and did not let up over Rosh Hashanah either. In the yeshiva itself, the atmosphere was permeated with heavenly awe and repentance, the bochurim were learning with special intensity, and the prayers were profoundly intense. However, this weaker boy, the Mashgiach’s special object of attention, hardly seemed to be affected by the charged atmosphere.
On Yom Kippur, the Mashgiach approached the young man and asked, “Tell me, what is today?”
The bochur shot back, “Today is Wednesday.”
On hearing those words, the Mashgiach burst into tears.
Later, he was asked by others why he had cried at just that moment. Rav Yerucham said sadly, “Until now, I had been hoping to slowly encourage him to yearn for true holiness. But he has gone so far that he has even lost whatever warmth he once had for Yom Kippur! How can I possibly help him now? The fire is already out!”

Absolute Integrity

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, zt”l, interprets the Mishnah in Yoma 22 in a surprisingly novel way: “In earlier generations, anyone who wanted to rise (לתרום-להתרומם) and take a position of authority could do so just by wanting to (רצין-רצון). If there was competition, whoever ascended to higher levels in avodas Hashem (בכבש-כבשונו של עולם) and proved the greater master of halachah (בארבע אמות—בד' אמות של הלכה) prevailed. If both were equally qualified, the yetzer hara (ממונה) would suggest falsely flattering the community (הצביעו) to secure the position. The evil inclination would rationalize that a bit of hypocrisy is nothing to worry about (ומה הן? מוציאין אחת או שתים...)—one can always regain one’s integrity after the contract is signed. But the righteous of earlier generations wouldn’t budge an iota, since they knew that their duty was to the Creator alone (אין מוציאין אגודל במקדש)!
Rav Yehoshua Leib Diskin zt”l was a thorn in the side of the Maskilim of Brisk. He saw them as a poisonous threat and did everything he could to obstruct their progress. In desperation, they planted counterfeit money in the Rav’s home and informed on him. Rav Diskin was arrested, and the loyal Jews of the town hired a famous lawyer to prove him innocent of this capital crime. True to his conviction that one may not gaze upon the wicked, the Rav refused to look his own attorney in the face during their conversation in his cell. At the trial, the lawyer opened with a strange statement:
“Before I present my arguments, acquaint yourselves with the nature of this defendant. The Rabbi knows that I hold his fate in my hands, that a wrong word from me can cost him his life. Yet he never looked directly at me during any of our conferences because, in his opinion, I am a wicked man! How could it be that such a principled man committed the crime of which he is accused? It must be that this is a trap laid by his many opponents, who would do anything to silence him!” The court was convinced of the truth of this statement, and acquitted Rav Diskin.

Rebbi Nachman on Overcoming Negative Thoughts

This is a recent chat I had with a student which I thought might be helpful.
Micha: You have given me two examples of trains of thought that have been troubling for you. Have we ever discussed Rebbe Nachman’s advice on how to maintain positive thoughts and avoid negative ones?

A.: No, I don’t think we have.

Micha: Hard to believe, but I think you are right about that. Rebbe Nachman explains that thoughts come in a train, one after the other, and the process can be compared to a clock ticking off the seconds.

A.: ok

Micha: Although many thoughts seem to crowd our minds, in reality we can only think one thought at a time However, sometimes a thought can be harmful and cause bad feelings, and it is important to know how to redirect our minds. We must know that our thoughts are like riding a horse. When the horse strays from the path you just turn the reins and go back on the way you wish to travel. He says that one should just start a new train of thought, but you must be vigilant not to "look back" to see if the other thoughts are gone, since this will make them come back.

A.: Ok.

Micha: The “replacement” thoughts can be in Torah, which is the best option, or even in any positive subject that engages you.

A.: So can you give me an example of what I should be thinking about right now at this very moment?

Micha: Sure. Rebbe Nachman’s teachings on joy, or an interesting Chasidic ma'amar, or anything to draw your attention away from this device of your yetzer hara. It works. If you find yourself back there or in another negative place, you just do it again.

A.: So eventually it will be easier?

Micha: Precisely. If you keep trying you will find that you can do it.

A.: How do I remind myself to do this? Because I am so used to following this "train" of thought.

Micha: It’s a matter of desire and persistence. Now at least when you notice that you are anxious you can redirect your thoughts.

A.: You know it is so much easier for me to do work while listening to music because the music puts my mind completely at ease.

Micha: The main thing is not to get bothered or try to fight this with force. If you feel basically positive you should be able to manage fairly easily, with Hashem’s help. Even if not, it is your choice. Just stay cool and redirect your negative thoughts as they arise, without struggle.

A.: Every second that we have been chatting, I have been battling with myself to force the horse back on the path.

Micha: Excellent. No two thoughts can occupy the mind at the same instant. All you need to do is redirect. In this manner you are on a different train to better places.

A.: Amen. Thank you, Rabbi.

Micha: My pleasure, as always! This has worked for countless people.

A.: It’s so good, I’m starting to laugh already. It slows me down so well inside.

Micha: Rav Nosson writes, "Leave the goy (bad thoughts) standing there." He has a long piece about it.

A: Where can I read it?

Micha: I really think you should be learning Reb Nosson's letters in English. They were published in a four volume set as, “Eternally Yours,” by Breslov Research Institute.

A.: ok

Micha: He discusses this and chizuk in general at length.

A.: When you say you think I should be learning...when do you mean that? All the time?

Micha: I will send you a piece I wrote on it.

A.: Excellent.

Micha: Yes, at least one letter a day, which should take five or ten minutes.
This advice holds true for all readers who have not yet learned this wonderful work. Even five minutes a day can change your life. It did mine.
Here is the link to the piece I did for my friend, "A Simple Jew":"Best Source of Chizuk"

Get Up!

The Steipler, zt”l, said that the more one has potential to be truly great in Torah, the more hardships and difficulties he has learning. These challenges can assume many forms, both physical and emotional. But such hardships are very discouraging.
When Rav Aharon Lieder, shlit”a, was asked how to overcome the spiritual paralysis that a spiritual fall naturally causes, he offered a very helpful strategy. “We say when we complete every chumash, חזק חזק ונתחזק—‘Be strong, be strong, and we will be strengthened.’ We see from this that we must always be strong no matter what befalls us. In whatever situation, no matter where one has fallen, he must not let this get to him in any way. On the contrary, he should immediately pick himself up and do his utmost to avoid falling in the future.
“We learn this from Bava Kama 31. There we find that two potters were coming down the street, one in front of the other. One tripped and the other one tripped over the first, so the first must pay damages. Rav Yochanan explains there that the first is responsible for the damages of the second since he didn’t get up. Even if the potter is not responsible for his actual fall, he is obligated if he did not get up and remained an obstacle in the path of the other who came behind him.
“The same is true in spiritual matters. One who falls in avodas Hashem is not yet considered a willful sinner since ‘Hashem is not a tyrant,’ as we find in Avodah Zara 3. A person is not an angel. But if he fell, why didn’t he immediately get back up again? This is the meaning of the verse, ‘The tzaddik falls seven times, and rises.’ A tzaddik is not one who doesn’t fall; a tzaddik is one who gets up after each fall!”

Holy Eating

Once Rav Marei Ratzon ben Amram, zt"l, the Chief Rabbi of Shrav, noticed that one of the regular mispallelim had been absent for three days in a row. He figured that the man must be ill, and so he went to visit him. The Rav knocked on the door and was shown in by the man’s wife. The absentee was obviously not sick since he was eating his lunch with gusto.
The congregant saw the Rav and stood in his honor, and even after they sat down the baal habayis didn’t resume his meal out of respect for his distinguished visitor.
“Why don’t you continue eating?” asked the Rav. “How can you disregard the Shechinah for a mere mortal?”
“What does the Rav mean?” wondered the baal habayis.
“We learn this from a clear verse in the Torah: ‘And they saw G-d, and they ate and drank.’ (Shemos 24:11) This verse indicates that a person is able to recognize and contemplate the greatness of the Creator when he eats. As he contemplates that it is Hashem who sustains all living things, he can also use the opportunity to mediate on how needy and frail human beings are. He can feel both the kindness of the Creator and how small a person is. He can also consider the functions of digestion and elimination of waste, and he will find that it helps him appreciate his own human limitations. This will affect him positively, because it will inspire him to cleave to Hashem and use every bit of strength to pray and learn as much as possible.
The Rav then remarked pointedly, “While we are on the topic of praying, where have you been? Chazal say that Hashem asks after a regular mispallel who misses even one day!”
The man was abashed. “My tallis tore and I was too ashamed to come to shul.”
“That is a reason to make Hashem ask after you? I will arrange to have a new one sent to you. But don’t forget: if you think about the greatness of Hashem and the smallness of mankind while you eat, you will draw very close to Hashem!”

The Rainbow

The group was learning the Daf Hayomi as usual, and they were up to Kesuvos daf 77b. They had reached the Gemara’s description of the meeting between Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi and Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Rabbi Shimon asked Rebbi Yehoshua ben Levi, “Was the rainbow ever seen in your day?”
“Yes, it was,” answered Rabbi Yehoshua.
Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai declared, “If so, you are not worthy of the proclamation that Eliyahu Hanavi had made earlier on your behalf: ‘Make way for ben Levi!’”
The Maggid Shiur said, “Rashi explains that the rainbow is a heavenly sign of the promise that Hashem made to spare the world from another flood. If there is a complete tzaddik living in the generation, there is no need for such a sign.”
One of the members of the shiur interjected, “I don’t understand this at all. A rainbow is the natural result of the refraction of light through a prism. How can we say that the presence of a tzaddik worthy of protecting the generation from a flood can be seen in the absence of a rainbow? Isn’t it just a natural part of creation?”
The Maggid Shiur replied, “The Rama answered this question in a very beautiful and simple way. In the years before electric lighting, the only way that a rainbow could be seen by a large group of people at once was when it rained during the day—that is the sunlight just after a rainstorm refracting through the remaining moisture in the air. The gemara in Taanis 23a and the Sifrei in Eikev explain the verse, ‘V’nasati matar artzechem b’ito’—‘and I will send the rain of your land in its proper time,’ to mean that when the Jewish people are worthy, Hashem will only send rain on Tuesday night and Leil Shabbos.
The Maggid Shiur concluded, “This is why the rainbow is not seen when there is a true tzaddik in the generation. When we are zocheh through the great merit of a very elevated tzaddik, it rains at night when there is no light!”

Pocketing Pennies

The Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, was very emphatic about the importance of keeping Shabbos. He helped many people who had difficulty with understanding the absolute inviolability of this mitzvah put things into their true perspective.
Once, when the Chofetz Chaim was in Moscow to attend to yeshiva business, he heard about a certain observant Jew who owned a factory that unfortunately did not close down until several hours into Shabbos and which began work again the following day while it was still daylight. When this wealthy factory owner came to greet him, the Chofetz Chaim related the following parable:
“A certain non-Jewish peasant would sell the sacks of grain he had grown to a Jewish wholesale merchant. The way they kept track of how much grain had been brought in was to fill the scale over and over again to its maximum capacity, as they marked a line on the wall to keep track of how many times the scale had been filled. The scale held a total of sixteen kilograms, and when they multiplied this number by the number of lines on the wall, they would determine the exact weight of the grain being sold.
He continued, “One day, the peasant realized that if the Jew wanted to cheat him, all he would need to do would be to erase some of the lines while he dragged in his sacks! So he insisted that they change their method; the Jew would give the peasant a small coin to hold after each scale-full. The Jew readily agreed. However, as the coins passed into the peasant’s hands, he foolishly looked on it as an opportunity to pocket a little spare change at the Jew’s expense. Without thinking, the peasant cheated himself out of the value of several scales-worth of grain!
The Chofetz Chaim concluded, “Chazal tell us that in the merit of keeping Shabbos, Hashem blesses our endeavors. When one steals an hour or two from his Shabbos observance in order to make money, he is just like this foolish peasant. It’s like pocketing pennies and throwing away thousands!”

Balancing Chizuk with Divine Service

Anonymous commented on "Toiling in Torah": "Respectfully: i think a point is missing here. it is not fair to compare parents and children. to expect or even hope that a child will go beyond a parent in torah is not showing kindness or fairness to the child. HaShem makes everyone different. Our goal is to be the best person 'we' can be. not in relation to another.
sadly, i think much damage and hurtful pressure is put on some kids to "be like" or 'exceed' their parents achievements.
doesn't it says by pirke avot(?) to encourage a child in "its" way?

the famous story of reb zushya getting to heaven and H' asking not why were you not moshe but why were you not zushya!!!

this is the key. certainly children should be encouraged to do well, to work hard, to excel.

if a child works in torah like his parent then let the child find his own way in torah.

sorry, i strongly disagree here."

My answer: You are totally correct that each person has his own derech.
It is well known that pressuring children is the number one cause of "off the derech syndrome." Any pressure must be very balanced and with so much love and caring that these traits are palpable to the child. This is clear in Chazal: "Push them away with the left hand while drawing them near with the right."
But I don't think this piece implies otherwise--it certainly was not meant to.
The two talmedei chachamim discussed were not children. Even as adults, no one told them what the Ohr Sameach said or embarrassed them. This story was told long over after they left the world to teach a lesson.
The Ohr Sameach knew them well and saw that for all their erudition and refinement, they could have been much more. With more hard work would have reached comparable greatness to their father (=gedolei hador.)
But this does not mean that they would have followed exactly the same path or written the same works. There were many children who reached--or even surpassed-- their father's greatness yet clearly blazed their own trail in learning and avodas Hashem. One well known example of this is the Chacham Tzvi and Rav Ya'akov Emden.
Even in our time, Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlita may very well have reached his father's greatness even though his path is different from his father's in many many ways.
This in no way implies that everyone can surpass their father in learning. The Arizal says that some people are just not cut out for learning. Some of these souls have already done their learning in earlier lifetimes. In any event that is not their mission here at all.
when the elderly tzaddik exhorted his students that if they toil they will reach such exalted levels he meant each person would reach their true potential.
The Mishna Berurah writes that one who does all he can spiritually is equal in Hashem's eyes to a second person who is more talented and also does all he can. In this sense if the students do all they can they will equal these gedolim.
In addition, it is possible to "expand one's soul" and achieve greatness where none was there before. (There are a great many sources for this concept.)
One example of this is Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita. When he was a child his father would write down the tractates he needed from the shelf before sending young Chaim since the young man would forget any name by the time he made it to the shelf. He worked and toiled with purity and prayer and look where he ended up.
The Chazon Ish would often say that gadlus is not necessarily found in people with the greatest talent but the ones who want Hashem the most and are the hardest workers.
The man who retold this story apparently noticed that people were not working as hard as they should and wished to encourage them to reach their full potential. I think it is safe to say the same about most people in our time as well.
Although I really don't believe we disagree on any count, this piece was written mainly to encourage each person to internalize how precious every little bit of spiritual light is in our dark times.
We should all rejoice in our spiritual accomplishments and be filled with chizuk so we are able to safely tax ourselves to grow just a little bit more each day.
Let us not forget that although Reb Nosson of Breslov says that one needs mostly chizuk, he also says that avodas Hashem that is only chizuk is not the path of the truly righteous.
It is important to note that there are exceptions to this rule. One exception is someone who is so broken that he needs immense chizuk just to be made whole again. Although this healing process takes time, it should not last forever. When one is finally repaired he needs to advance spiritually. Yet even someone in such a "healing mode" must at least yearn to be better each day. And just like the rest of us; if he falls he needs to make a new beginning. Rebbe Nachman revealed that sometimes one needs to make many new beginnings in one day. Rav Nosson promises that if we keep at it we will eventually achieve our spiritual mission. This is why giving up is the worst spiritual evil.Despair is a direct result of judging Hashem to be unloving and judging oneself to be beyond salvation and is false on both counts.
Hashem should give us all immense chizuk so we are strong enough to keep climbing spiritually one step at a time!

Toiling in Torah

Rav Yehudah learns from the verse, “As water reflects back one’s face, so too does the heart of one reflect another’s,” that understanding in Torah is according to the effort one invests.
Rav Abba Yaakov Borchov, zt”l, author of Shut Chevel Yaakov, had many illustrious teachers. At first he learned with Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk, zt”l and he subsequently spent three years learning b’chavrusah with the Maharil Diskin, zt”l, and his son Rav Yitzchok Yerucham, zt”l. He later learned in Kovno with Rav Yitzchok Elchonon Spector, zt”l, and was ordained by him. When Rav Abba Yaakov was already elderly, he settled in Yerushalayim, where his shiurim were extremely well attended.
Once he reminisced, “Two of my mentors merited children who were great in Torah but did not reach the greatness of their illustrious fathers. Rav Yitzchok Yerucham, the son of the Maharil Diskin, and Rav Tzvi Hirsch, the son of Rav Yitzchok Elchonon. I always thought the reason for this was similar to what the Maharal of Prague, zt”l, says about Moshe Rabbeinu’s children: ‘Since Moshe Rabbeinu had a ma’alah that surpassed the attainments of regular human beings, his children couldn’t reach his exalted level.’
Rav Abba Yaakov continued, “When I shared this thought with the Ohr Someach (who knew and respected the two sons highly for their greatness in Torah and their refinement of character), he disagreed vehemently. ‘The children had the potential to reach their fathers’ levels. The sole reason they didn’t is that they didn’t exert themselves as much as their fathers had!’
The elderly tzaddik concluded, “The same holds true for all of us! If we toil as Rav Yitzchok Elchonon did, we will reach his level! If we exert ourselves like the Maharil Diskin, we will reach his exalted level!”
The Chazon Ish, zt”l, said, “If someone were to put in the effort that the Maharsha did nowadays, he would come out with a much greater work. The harder the test, the more one must exert himself to overcome it. The greater the effort, the more siyatta d’Shmaya one merits!”

The Best Doctors

When Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, zt”l, was sick, he was treated by a certain doctor with great self--sacrifice. Night and day, this physician was on call to do everything in his power to help him get well.
Once, this doctor asked the Rav, “Rabbi, I really cannot understand the mishnah in Kiddushin 82 which states that the best doctors go to Gehinom. Is this a fitting reward for a doctor who gives his all and faithfully treats his patients with skill and caring?”
The Rav smiled slightly and replied, “This is not the meaning of the mishnah. Surely, the fate of a doctor is not predetermined to Gehinom! Rather, this is an exhortation to the doctor regarding his approach to his patients. He should not expect that they are in the serene state of those who feels connected to Gan Eden. On the contrary, the life of a sick man is a living hell and it is into that place that the best doctors must be willing to venture to treat the severely ill!”
On another occasion Rav Sonnenfeld explained why this could not be taken literally. “Does not the gemara say that saving one Jewish life is like saving an entire world?”
When Rav Aharon of Belz, zt”l, was in Pest, a certain doctor wished to see him but was brusquely rebuffed at the door by the gabbai. “It is not a good time to see the Rebbe now,” he claimed.
When the Rebbe asked him what that was all about, the gabbai answered, “Some doctor. ‘The best of them go to Gehinom!’”
“Chas v’shalom!” the Rebbe vehemently replied. “You do not understand the meaning of that gemara. Chazal tell us of the great self-sacrifice of the best doctors. While treating their patients they feel that they stand on the brink of Gehinom since one false move can cause irreparable damage or death, G-d forbid…”
The Rebbe immediately ordered that the doctor be found and ushered in to see him.

Selfless Service

Chazal say that lashon hara brings no physical pleasure to the speaker, much in the way that a snake enjoys no physical benefit from biting. The Avnei Nezer zt”l explains that this is why the incense atones for the sin of lashon hara. During the actual burning of the incense, the Kohein Gadol experiences no physical pleasure from the odor. Chazal stated that even he cannot be physically present while he stands within the cloud of the incense, for “no man shall be in the ohel moed...” (Vayikra Rabbah 16:17, #21) How, then, could he have both stood in that place and not been present? When ruach hakodesh rested on him in the kodesh kodashim, it elevated him to the level of an angel, in a state of complete transcendence of his physical senses. This uplifting was a result of the Kohein Gadol’s selflessness, his lack of expectation of receiving any material reward from the avodah.
The Mei Hashiloach zt”l writes that, in this respect, the Kohein Gadol represents the gadol ha’dor. Like the Kohein Gadol, the Torah leader of the generation often does not derive any gain from his toil on behalf of the Jewish people. This is why their words are able to bestow spiritual life for all time—because everything they do is for the sake of heaven.
Rav Leib zt”l, the son of the Chofetz Chayim zt”l, once asked his father a question that touched on this subject.
“Father, will people ever know and understand how hard you worked and how much effort you put into writing each and every word of the Mishnah Berurah?”
The Chofetz Chayim replied, “What does it matter if no one praises me or even comprehends how much work went into its writing? If they don’t realize that they should be grateful for all my efforts, what difference does it make? Do I toil to receive their applause? My only desire is to honor Hashem—and He knows all about every single effort I expended!”

A Fool for Honor

Our Rabbi’s teach that one exclusionary statement following another is inclusive. The Chidushei HaRim zt”l explains this principle figuratively: “diminishment followed by diminishment is only meant to make great.” We are made great in the eyes of others to the degree that we minimize ourselves.
Rav Eliyahu Lopian zt”l once told about a big baal chessed who was a simple man. Years earlier, he had saved the life of the governor and this gave him a degree of influence not enjoyed by other Jews. The man’s relationship with the governor enhanced his ability to help people in need, and even allowed him to secure army exemptions for many yeshivah students. Unfortunately, the man’s efforts on behalf of other Jews were matched by an equally strong drive to be honored publicly. He rationalized that more prestige would further his efforts on behalf of the community.
Once, when he was visiting Slabodka, he began to boast about his accomplishments. He crowed, “You batlanim should give someone like me shishi—even the Chofetz Chayim agrees!”
He then related that he had met with the gadol ha’dor and complained that since he didn’t receive the honor he deserved, his ability to help the community was compromised.
The Chofetz Chayim offered an explanation. “Why do Chazal say that honor flees before all who pursue it, and that it pursues all who run from it? Why do we need the word all? It would be enough to just say “those who pursue it,” or “those who run from it!” Apparently, the extra word “all” teaches that honor flees from everyone who chases it, even one who deserves honor as much as you do. And anyone who flees from it, even someone as unworthy as myself, is pursued by it!”
The foolish man exclaimed, “You see, even the Chofetz Chayim admits that I am worthy of more honor!”
Rav Eliyahu concluded: “Just see how much a person can make a fool of himself for a little kavod!”

Do What you Can

The Chidushei HaRim, zt”l, teaches a powerful lesson: one who acts as a ben aliyah would despite his shortcomings, will eventually become one. One is only divorced from spirituality when he gives up on spiritual ascent because of his flaws.
A young bochur once came to Rav Wolbe, zt”l, feeling very confused and frustrated. He said, “I don’t know what to do with myself! Sometimes I feel very drawn to spiritual matters like learning with a fire and davening. At other times I act in ways not befitting a ben Torah. What is my avodah worth if I keep falling into the same spiritual morasses?”
The Mashgiach replied, “Your feelings are the result of a simple fact: as long as one is young, one finds in himself various contradictions. On the one hand, you may be very drawn to spiritual matters. You have a taste in davening and can literally pour out your heart to Hashem. You may feel an incredibly intrinsic identification with the Torah that you learn. On the other hand, you also might enjoy joking around and making fun of things with friends.
The Mashgiach continued, “So what should you do? Just because you enjoy joking around and sometimes even wander into the realm of leitzanus, is that an excuse not to daven with kavanah? Surely this path only leads to complete estrangement from spiritual growth! Quite the contrary—since you notice this flaw in yourself and this bothers you, this should be a reason to exert yourself all the more to daven with a geshmack and seek spiritual growth in any way you can! In time you will be drawn more and more after spiritual elevation until you outgrow your spiritual immaturity altogether.”
The Mashgiach concluded, “Until then you must learn to bear the unflattering assessment of your peers and even consent to be the brunt of their jokes. If you persevere, however, you will overcome your weaknesses and flourish!”

Balanced Chizuk

Alice asked for guidance regarding a very important issue in the comments: How [does] one remain positive the majority of the time yet also allow for the release of pain in a healthy way—in a way that allows for pouring out one’s heart?

This problem is so prevalent that Reb Nosson of Breslov warns against it in the very first piece of Likutei Halachos. The Midrash teaches regarding the red heifer, “Let the mother come and clean up after her child.” The child of the heifer is the golden calf, the paradigm of willful sin, and the cleansing from the impurity of death (through the ashes of the red heifer as prescribed in the Torah) symbolizes the internal cleansing of teshuvah. This is achieved by focusing on our good points and returning to our real identity, which makes the negative fall aside. Just as the red heifer must be completely unblemished (since if it is blemished it is disqualified,) the good within us is absolutely unsoiled by whatever bad we may have done.
But this focusing on the good is double-edged; like the ashes of the heifer, it can defile the pure even as it purifies the impure. Seeking out our own good points is appropriate for when we are feeling discouraged and far from Hashem, because it ensures that we won’t fall completely. However, when we are in a good state, such a focus can easily lead to arrogance. Knowing when to focus on the good in ourselves and when to focus on how far we have to go is a great challenge. Perhaps this is what Shlomo HaMelech referred to when he said that although he had tried to understand it, the mystery of the red heifer remained “far” from him.

It is important to put this into perspective. When chizuk is as it should be, it empowers us to do all we can to serve Hashem. Reb Nosson writes that chizuk engenders a feeling that Hashem is truly near and even the smallest good is eternal. The natural outcome of this is that one does everything he can to serve Hashem.
While we are waiting for Hashem to finally grant our prayers and help us truly appreciate the importance of even the smallest good act or prayer, we can fall into the false-chizuk about which Reb Nosson warns. In this state one focuses on the positive even when he should be moving ahead by seeing what is still incomplete in him. This can bring a person to various levels of arrogance that manifest in different ways. In a person who has a more calm type of personality the arrogance from too much chizuk often leads to complacency or spiritual indifference. In more dynamic temperaments, inappropriate chizuk can lead to feelings of depression, unwarranted anger, or emotional buildups which burst out in an unhealthy way.

Before we discuss what to do about this, it is important to note that people tend to need more chizuk than hisorerus (inspiration to change). Reb Nossson actually prescribes the balance: one full “plate” of chizuk for every small spoonful of hisorerus. So our major focus should always be chizuk. Clearly, finding this balance in ourselves is a step-by-step process that can take many years.
So how exactly does one practically achieve this? Although Rebbe Nachman provides more than enough advice relevant to this problem to literally fill a book, I will only write here what has worked for me in my personal experience.
I have noticed that the more chizuk I have gained, the less depression has been a problem for me. Now my problem is just realizing that I am in a “low state” and applying the appropriate chizuk teaching to help me overcome it. As Rav Nissan Dovid Kivak has explained, there are many different pathways to chizuk. Many people find that sometimes one will work, while at other times a different method will be efficacious.
The same holds true regarding the other issues for me. I need to notice that I have one of the above problems and apply the correct spiritual medicine.

Hisbodedus is a very powerful path and the best healthy way to channel unhealthy emotion as Rebbe Nachman writes. The most powerful method for me is to completely nullify myself to Hashem as Rebbe Nachman discusses. What helps me the most is to just hope to Hashem with my whole being. The Ramchal writes that the Hebrew word for hope (kivuy) is also the same as the word for “line,” since one who hopes to Hashem with his whole heart attains a direct “lifeline” to Hashem. First hoping to Him and then begging is one way to diffuse such emotions. The Ramchal adds that just as a worried person is depressed and experiences spiritual death, one who hopes to Hashem is filled with vitality and joy.
In addition Rebbe Nachman discusses screaming during hisbodedus and prayer. He speaks of the silent scream, an internal cry that is fully visualized and felt within that one has resort to even when surrounded by people, which also helps release negative feelings.

I have found that what works best for me is to find the source of what is causing such feelings and work on changing my attitude. The first step is feeling truly grateful to Hashem that it is not worse. We call this, “Ba’tzar hirchavta li”—“In trouble, You have broadened for me.” Even in “trouble,” there is always some aspect of “harchava”—of broadening or opening, of ease. This has become such second nature for me that no matter what happens I immediately see something positive and usually thank Hashem for it on the spot.
This attitude eventually leads a person to joyously thank Hashem from the bottom of his heart for all the good even though he has not lost sight of the challenges. Rebbe Nachman calls this transforming the bad to good. He explains that just as a spoilsport will avoid a circle of joyous dancers so as not to be swept up into a happy mood, the bad attitudes and feelings also run away the moment we have a truly joyous attitude. They aren’t brought into the “circle”—they are just biding their time on the side. The true rectification of the negative feelings is to “draw them in”—to transform them by “dragging them into the circle” by force. This means that one must use the opportunity afforded by being in a positive state to chase down his fleeing issues and work on them.
Hashem should grant us the vitality and joy of balanced chizuk!

Balancing Divine Sevice with Chizuk

Anonymous commented on "Cry to Hashem!" "What if you can't cry like that?
What if trying to do that makes you sick, so you can't do it?

what if trying or even attempting that makes your head hurt terribly, makes your stomach sick and you cannot go to work as a result?

what the heck are you supposed to do then?

this seems very unfair.

Excellent question! The answer is: If you can't then don't. Do what you can and yearn for more, while working on being happy with what you have.
One who does his or her utmost to fulfill a mitzvah and doesn't manage it for reasons beyond his control is considered to have fulfilled the mitzvah to the hilt.
Regarding children there is a very inspiring Midrash: When a childless person who yearned for children with all his or her heart leaves this world he or she will be very surprised to be presented with many children of his or her own in the hereafter.
"But I didn't have any children," he will stammer.
"These are yours since those who had them didn't really want them; the only reason they came into being was through your yearning and prayers."
Although progress is important it must be step by step. In the meanwhile we must avoid feelings that we are invalidated because we don't see how every prayer and mitzvah is another step towards reaching our goals. We must internalize that yearning and hoping to Hashem on whatever level we can --without overdoing it or getting sick from it--is in and of itself is more precious to Hashem than we can possibly imagine.
Rebbe Nachman said that even one moment of the struggle each person endures trying to come closer to Hashem on his own level is more precious to Hashem than a thousand years of an angel's impeccable divine service. The reason for this is simple. Because angle has nothing preventing him from serving Hashem his service is effortless and virtually worthless.
It follows that the more challenged one is, the more precious any little bit of spiritual movement is. A person with every advantage who seems more spiritually advanced may be on a much lower level than another person with greater challenges. Even if the more challenged person does much less, he is still higher.
Rav Nosson of Breslov explains that ethical works which make people feel depressed were not written to cause feelings of despair. On the contrary, their author's purpose was to give one a feeling that every tiny movement of spiritual advancement priceless and to encourage one to never pass up even the smallest opportunity for spiritual advancement.
If one finds that such works cause him despair he should not learn them since they are above one's ability for the moment. Instead one should fight feelings of despair by focusing on the positive and working to internalize that every little bit of good is very precious.
Eventually when one has amassed enough chizuk he can go back to concepts that were above him and slowly apply them to his life. Until that time, one must yearn to change for the better while never allowing this to overwhelm or cause depression. How to do this will have to wait for a later post b'ezras Hashem.

Cry to Hashem!

The Beraisa states that when various calamities would strike the Jewish people, they would not blow the shofar as they would in certain cases but would rather cry out in prayer. Truly heartfelt prayer can bring deliverance even when we deserve the punishment that befalls us!
Once, an avreich who had been married for many years without children came to Rav Shimshon Pinkus, zt”l, and cried before him about his terrible misfortune.
Rav Pinkus said to him, “Meet me here at two in the morning and we will see what can be done to remedy your trouble.”
The young man joined the Rav at two in the morning and they traveled to a very deserted spot outside of the city. The Rav exited the car with the young man and said, “You are now alone in the desert, there is only you and Hashem. Cry to Him and plead before him about your problem from the depths of your heart like you would tell a friend standing right beside you. This is your only hope! I shall return in a half an hour.”
After half an hour had elapsed, the Rav returned and gazed at the young man. He remonstrated with the young man, “You haven’t cried nearly enough! Cry! Plead from the deepest depths of your heart! Beg the King with your whole soul!”
Rav Pinkus then got into his car and drove off into the night.
After exactly half an hour, the Rav returned a second time. In the interim, the young man had wept so much that even his clothes were soaked through with his tears.
Rav Pinkus smiled at him and said, “This is what I meant! Now you will surely see a yeshuah!”
The young couple had their first child that very year!

Rav Nosson's Final Night

It was the tenth of Teves, 1844, the last night of the life of Rav Nosson of Breslov, zt”l. Although he had already been very ill for a number of years with a chronic and worsening intestinal illness, he still “strengthened himself like a lion” and arose at midnight to recite the chatzos service and spend an hour in heartfelt prayer to Hashem. Rav Nosson had adopted this practice in his youth, and never let go of it until the day he died.
Afterward his prayers, he committed his final words to writing: “We find in the beginning of Moed Katan that one may water crops on chol ha’moed if they would be otherwise ruined (beis hashlachin) and the owner will sustain a financial loss. This symbolizes how the true shepherds of the Jewish people are always trying to draw those who are weak closer to Hashem. And this is especially true of those neshamos that are completely exhausted and cannot go on. This is one way to understand the concept of davar ha’aved—it refers to those souls that seem on the verge of being completely lost, G-d forbid. These neshamos require an injection of new vitality that will help them blossom so that they can live the good life of emunah and closeness to Hashem.
“This is why the Targum renders the word shelachin as ‘Eretz ayefa utsemaya,’ a tired and thirsty land. These are the souls who are tired and thirsting for closeness to Hashem.
“The first step in slaking that thirst is to convince the person that it is never to late to do teshuvah. And this is true of even the biggest sinner who has done the worst things until it seems that they could sink no lower. The truly righteous do not give up hope that even such a person will return. And they try with all their might to encourage such people. We must never write a person off!”

Confounding the Soton

Chazal tell us that on Rosh HaShanah we blow teruah and tekiyah both before and after the amidah in order to confuse the Soton, the heavenly accuser. Tosefos birngs the Yerushalmi which explains that our sounding the shofar at those two points is meant to echo the sound of the “great shofar” that will herald the end of death and evil in times to come.On hearing these blasts, the Soton is reminded that his reign is going to end, and so he gets confounded and does not have the “presence of mind” to accuse us. Of course, the obvious question is why the Soton doesn’t learn from year to year?
When the Imrei Emes, zt”l, was asked this, he responded with the words of Rav Pinchas of Koritz, zt”l: “Every year there is a new Soton!” He can’t learn from year to year since there is a new one appointed every single year!
Rav Elazar of Bialastok, zt”l, was one of the students of the Kotzker Rebbe, zt”l. He was known for his biting wit, and once he decided to employ it to give a certain group of people some moral direction.
Rav Elazar said, “When I come to the next world and they ask me why I didn’t learn enough, I will say that I was busy working. If asked why I thought this was more important than spiritual matters, I will respond with the words of the Gemara in Rosh HaShanah 16b. There we see that even the Soton, an angel, gets confused by the blasts of the shofar.”
He continued, “The obvious question is, why doesn’t the Soton just remember what happened the previous year? The answer is that he doesn’t have time to think. So this will be my answer to heavenly tribunal: If I had thought about it I would certainly have acted differently, but what could I do? When I saw all the bills that needed to be paid and felt all the pressures of my job, I just didn’t have time to think things through and dedicate enough time for Torah study—which is above all else. Surely they will accept that if an angel can get confused, a measly human can certainly be confounded by the day to day pressures of life!”

Waiting for Moshiach

It is well known that the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, was very particular not to accumulate unnecessary belongings. He reasoned that since we are merely travelers in this world on a business trip to procure our place in the world to come we have no reason to hoard anything beyond our needs. As a matter of fact, for most of his life the Gadol Hador had a dirt floor, like the simplest of Polish Jews.
Somewhat uncharacteristically, the Chofetz Chaim did own one very respectable garment which was set aside and never used. When asked why he owned a frock coat that he never actually put on, he explained, “I have set this coat aside so that I will have a distinctive garment in which I will be able to greet Moshiach, bimheira b’yameinu!”
Someone once approached the Gadol and asked, “I heard that you have a coat set aside in which you plan to greet Moshiach. But doesn’t the Gemara say that Eliyahu Hanavi will come three days before Moshiach to herald his arrival? Keeping an extra coat seems superfluous since the Gemara indicates that you will have three days to procure one!”
The Chofetz Chaim patiently explained, “Our forefathers were supposed to be in Egypt for four hundred years. However, every child knows the Jewish people actually stayed there for only two hundred and ten years. Chazal explain that the calculation of four hundred years started from the birth of Yitzchak Avinu. So we see that what appears to be simple on the surface actually has an entirely different meaning!”
The Gadol continued, “So too with the arrival of Moshiach. Although the Gemara does indicate that it will be announced, Chazal also said that he will arrive suddenly, b’hesech hada’as. (Sanhedrin 97a) The fact is that anyone who prepared ahead for the sudden arrival of Moshiach will be able to greet him with due respect. Afterward, we will work out a solution to the problem of how he could have arrived so suddenly, without our having heard the announcement of Eliyahu Hanavi!”

“In the End They Were Created As One…”

An American avreich living in Yerushalayim once went to HaRav Yaakov Yisroel Fischer, zt”l, with what he perceived to be a big problem. “When my wife is expecting and nearing her due date, my mother comes to visit in anticipation of the birth but she stays with one of my siblings in a different area. Since she is very nervous about my wife’s condition, she calls the house often to check up on my wife. If, for some reason, my wife doesn’t pick up the phone, she calls me and insists that I make efforts to verify that she hasn’t gone to the hospital. My mother often tries to get me to call my neighbors to check on my wife and report back to us. As the Rav can imagine, all of this is very trying and makes a tense situation all the more difficult. I feel duty-bound to obey my mother, but every time I call my neighbor, my wife is understandably incensed. It is perfectly within her right to leave the house on occasion or lie down to rest—or ignore the phone, for that matter. My mother wants one thing and my wife another—what can I do?”
HaRav Fischer answered, “When your mother asks you to find out your neighbors number, explain to her that you can’t.”
The avreich protested, “But I can always call information to find someone who lives nearby!”
HaRav Fischer said firmly, “So forget the number. Or don’t find it, or discover that it’s busy. Or that they’re not at home. Kol tuv.” And he immediately dismissed the avreich by calling in the next questioner. “Arayn! Next!”
The young man was confused about why his wife’s needs should take precedence over his mother’s demands. He decided to ask his Rav.
The Rav explained, “The Gemara in Kesuvos 8a states that Hashem originally intended to create Adam and Chava separately but decided to create them as one being instead. The Rashbah explains that this was so that they would actually be one, that they would experience a closeness that surpasses the bond between a child and a parent. What Dayan Fischer was trying to tell you was that your mother has no right to cause discord between you and your wife, especially over such a trivial matter!”

Spirit of the Law: Chanukah #24

(Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 139:24) “...when Rosh Chodesh Teves falls out during the week…”
The Sfas Emes, zt”l, writes that Rosh Chodesh Teves receives the illumination of all the candles for the remainder of the month. Perhaps this is why we light thirty-six candles: to allude to the fact that the light of Chanukah rests on the days of Chanukah that precede Rosh Chodesh along with the entire month of Teves, which never total more than thirty-six days.
Rav Nosson of Breslov writes that the main avodah of the eighth day of Chanukah is to draw down and expand these spiritual illuminations into each day of the coming month and the year beyond. Hashem should help us begin anew on this most holy day!

Spirit of the Law: Chanukah #19

(Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 139:19) “If one is away from home and his wife lights for him at home, he should light where he is as well without a blessing. If he is certain that no one is lighting for him at home, he can either light for himself or pay the host where he is staying to add to their oil and wicks on his behalf.” (Some say not to actually add oil, but that he merely pays a share.)
The Mekor Chaim, zt”l, explains that a guest represents the extra soul-level that can become manifest within the “host” since the arrival of every guest brings a special opportunity to advance spiritually. For this reason, the Midrash states that the host receives more from the guest than the guest from his host. This is similar to the neshamah yeseirah—the extra portion of soul—that we receive on Shabbos. Of course, only those who desire it and prepare for it are able to tap into it and experience it. One of the ways that we prepare to receive this influx is by “remembering Shabbos all week long,” as the Yerushalmi prescribes.
On each day of Chanukah, we receive a special “guest-soul” similar to Shabbos. The only difference is that this special guest comes only once a year and we receive it on most days through the lighting of the menorah and reciting the Hallel of each day.
If a person is worthy of experiencing the effects of the arrival of his soul-guest, he feels inspired in a particular limb. It may be in his heart, in which case will feel great love for Hashem. Or he may receive such an illumination in his head, which will give him a deep understanding of a Torah concept that may have been difficult for him to understand before.
Receiving such an illumination from the extra soul-portion of Chanukah is the deeper meaning of our halachah, that the guest can either light for himself or contribute to the expansion of the host’s lighting. If the host feels an impression from his guest, he should begin fresh because of this feeling—this is “the guest lighting for himself.” If the host doesn’t really feel anything, this means that he is “in the dark” about the gift that has come his way. Nevertheless, he must at least do what little he can (represented by the guest’s minimal contribution to “expand the light” in the host’s home) despite the fact that he does not yet feel the deep holiness of Chanukah. In this way, he arouses this soul in an aspect of the Talmudic principle: “One who comes to purify himself is helped from on high.” Feeling the light of the extra soul-portion that visits us all on Chanukah is the manner in which Hashem helps us. We must do what we can, and Hashem does the rest!