Rav Aharon Leib Steinman, shlit"a, once discussed the terrible scourge of sinas chinam in a moving manner. Speaking in a pained tone of voice, he said, “It is sad that when a Jew wants to expand his apartment, his neighbor—even if the construction doesn’t affect his apartment in the slightest—will often find an ‘underground’ way to stop construction. Such a person often won’t even allow his neighbor to put up a sukkah for seven days a year. But why should he care? In many situations the protestor's apartment is in the north and the construction is in the south. Although there is no earthly reason why such construction should annoy them, they still protest. This is especially despicable when they oppose the building of a shul, claiming that this will cause the price of their apartments to drop. "Firstly, this is definitely false. Quite the contrary, in a religious neighborhood, building a shul can increase the value of apartments in the vicinity. But the most important reason why such conflict is wrong is more basic: why should they care? Why not rejoice in your neighbor’s good fortune instead of complaining? But what can we do; human nature is such that we tend to resent the success of others and it is hard to be giving. “This is explains why we find in Avos that one of the ten miracles in the Beis Hamikdash was that the kohanim didn’t think thoughts that would render sacrifices pigul. Why is this required? Clearly the kohein did not profit by invalidating the sacrifice of another Jew! This is one of the miracles because the nature of people is to be mean-spirited and act out of spite. Even in the holiest place on Earth, it required a miracle to protect people’s sacrifices from being ruined because of innate bad middos!”
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Hidden Thoughts
The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, explains the avodah of purifying one’s thoughts. “Just like gold is very precious but is worthless until it is separated from the dross which is the majority, the same is true of the human psyche. Although we have an abundance of proper feelings and good character traits these cannot shine forth properly until the dross of bad middos and illicit desires are removed. Before one has smelted gold it remains dull and lusterless; the same is true regarding good character traits. “Although we know how to smelt gold many are puzzled at how they can remove the bad within themselves. The answer is that we must stand strong in the furnace of temptation, when we are pushed to follow our heart’s desires. The first and most important place of tests which burn away bad desires is in one’s thoughts. We must remove illicit thoughts especially of licentiousness. In terms of middos one who has a bad temper must accustom himself to speak softly. A person who feels unhappy about his friend’s success should work to save another from harm. “In this manner he will slowly remove the bad and the wondrous middos will shine through and be recognizable to all.” [חכמה ומוסר, ח"ב, ע' רי"א]
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Gauging our Bitachon
The Midrash teaches that after Yaakov Avinu was stripped of his material goods he declared, "אשא עיני אל ההרים מאין יבא עזרי"—“‘I lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where will my help come?’ Eliezer the servant of Avraham brought ten loaded camels to convince my mother to marry my father. I don’t even have one earring or a bracelet to court my wife-to-be!
But he immediately encouraged himself, “Will I then lose my bitachon? Chas v’shalom that I should lose my hope and trust in Hashem! 'עזרי מעם ה' עושה שמים וארץ!'—“My help will come from Hashem, Maker of heaven and earth.’”[1]
The commentary on the Midrash explains that the word mountains—הרים—alludes to parents—הורים—since both words are essentially the same. The word עזרי alludes to Yaakov Avinu’s future wife, the woman he hoped would be his עזר כנגדו, his helpmate.[2]
Even Yaakov Avinu, the bechir ha’avos, had a momentary lapse of bitachon before he was able to reconnect with Hashem and trust in Him fully. Clearly, bitachon is an ongoing process with its attendant setbacks, and since it is a dynamic quality we run the risk of fooling ourselves into thinking that we have attained a high level even though we have not. So how are we to know whether we are truly developing greater bitachon or just coasting?
One simple gauge of genuine bitachon is our degree of patience when facing challenges. The more bitachon one has, the harder it is to unsettle him.[3] The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, tells us that this is like walking along a narrow log to cross over a raging river. Fear itself makes it very difficult to walk along such a narrow bridge, and the person who manages it with aplomb demonstrates his confidence in a positive outcome.[4] When a person knows that he is in Hashem’s hands, bitachon is strong and fear dissipates. The bridge beneath his feet is solid, and so the pressures of a gust of wind or the fearsome sound of the rushing river below him cannot make him falter.
Our bitachon-stability is highlighted most clearly in our reactions to other people. Do we become flustered and defensive when we are challenged by their behavior, or do we have patience and try to see it from their point of view? One of the greatest tests of our real, not illusory, level of bitachon is in how we treat our spouse. The Midrash itself points to this, since Yaakov Avinu’s own lapse was in the matter of his shidduch.
Rav Nissim Yagen, zt”l, would often discuss the challenges of shalom bayis. “It truly pains me that many times shortly after marriage husbands approach me with complaints. ‘Rabbi, my wife is simply not what I though her to be before our marriage.’
“I invariably reply in kind: ‘You too, are not precisely as she thought you to be before your marriage!’
“The truth is that this feeling betrays a marked lack of bitachon. Chazal brought three proofs from Tanach that one’s wife is heaven-sent.[5] The Ben Ish Chai, zt”l, asks why the Gemara there specifically discusses shidduchim. Is not everything from Hashem? He explains that it is especially in this area that one comes to see with his own eyes that the woman Hashem has sent him is truly his match made in heaven. Like the splitting of the Yam Suf, natural law does not reign when it comes to shidduchim!
Rav Yagen concluded, “But one needs a lot of patience until he sees this, especially at the beginning. I still recall my first trip to
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Rebuke that Will be Heard
The author of the Glilei Zahav explains the importance of proper rebuke. “A person with the ability to protest his friend’s wrongdoings and fails to do so is considered to have done these sins himself, as our sages tell us in Shabbos. This halachah is alluded to in the verse, 'אם לוא יגיד ונשא עונו'—‘If one fails to tell, he will bear his sin.’ Although literally this verse discusses one who refuses to testify on behalf of his friend, we can also explain this in terms of rebuke: Failing to give rebuke to another makes one responsible. One is considered to have done the sin if he had the power to prevent it but couldn’t be bothered to take the sinner to task.
He added, “In this vein we can also explain the extra vav in the word לוא, which indicates ‘to him.’ This teaches that one is only held responsible if he failed to give rebuke to a person who may be moved to change his ways. Regarding one who is certain to ignore rebuke our sages say that there is a mitzvah not say what he knows will not be accepted.”
Those who learned at Yeshivas Lomza when Rav Eliyahu Dushnitzer, zt”l, was mashgiach, were astounded by the sensitive manner in which he gave the students rebuke. He was always good-natured and, with a sweet smile on his face, would gently explain where the student had erred.
“He wouldn’t leave before saying to the young man, “Please forgive me.”
Naturally this would surprise the bochur. After all, why should the Mashgiach apologize?
But the bochur was not left to puzzle this over for long. “Surely you wonder why I ask your pardon. Our sages tell us that just as it is a mitzvah to offer rebuke where it will be heard, it is also a mitzvah to refrain from saying what will not be accepted. I therefore apologize if, chas v’shalom, you are in the second category. Not only did I fail to fulfill the mitzvah, I also caused you unnecessary pain. For this, I apologize.”
Monday, August 15, 2011
Withholding One’s Blessings
The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, discusses the awful consequences of being penny-pinching. “Miserliness is a reprehensible middah. Rabbeinu Yonah teaches that this defect is the source of all bad middos, since a person afflicted with it is liable to do any evil to avoid paying money. One who is enthralled with making money will eventually fall into very low places. His greed will make it easy for him to lose touch with what is important, as Rabbeinu Tam writes in Sefer Hayashar.
“Kayin was one of the first human beings and was clearly very spiritually developed. He understood why we bring korbanos from his own intellect and he brought a sacrifice. In addition, Kayin knew that only Hevel’s sacrifice was pleasing to Hashem.
The Alter continued, “Nevertheless, despite all of his advantages, Kayin killed his brother. What caused this? His lack of open-handedness, since if he had been generous, his korban would have been accepted. Kayin reasoned that beauty in serving Hashem was unnecessary, since the main thing is one’s intention. If what Hashem wants is what is in a person’s heart, why waste resources?
“Although this is true regarding someone who has nothing or very little to give, it is an error for one who has more means to use this an excuse. He should give what he has, in accordance with his means, to Hashem. It is only by bringing the best we can that we show that we are willing to give anything we have for Hashem.”
This is the meaning of Moshe’s words to Yisrael: “When you ascend to the land, sacrifice yashrus, not chovos.” This teaches that one should bring a sacrifice which is fitting, not a cheap offering that is below his means.
But the Bamidbar Yehudah, zt”l, explains differently. “Moshe was telling them the right way to approach Hashem. We must always focus on yashrus, what is righteous about the Jewish people. Never chovos, their sins or deficiencies.”
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Developing the Positive
The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, explained that even positive attributes that one was born with require work. “The good character traits also require development. If a person does not work to build up the good—and even more so if he acts contrary to a good middah—it atrophies and is eventually completely ruined. Later, even if he desires to arouse the good, it will be virtually impossible and he will have to start cultivating it as if he had never had it in the first place.
He explained further, “Every quality has a particular ‘statute of limitations’ during which it can still be revived even if its strength has waned. But if one does not begin to work on awakening these positive attributes while there is still time, it will be too late. This is another meaning of the verse, 'ככלות כוחינו אל תעזבינו'—‘Do not allow us to wait until we are abandoned and cannot really rectify the damage we have done...”
Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, explained this with a vivid parable. “It is well known that if one sits on his hand or foot and stops circulation by avoiding any movement it is only a matter of time until he can no longer use the motionless limb no matter what he does to restore its vitality. Emunah is no different than the physical world in this regard. If one does not develop his emunah or any a positive character trait due to his laziness or any other reason, it dissolves into nothingness and unfortunately writhers and dies.”
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
“According to His Path”
The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, gave a very decisive lesson about how we should comport ourselves at all times. “'חנוך לנער על פי דרכו...'. From this verse we see that each youth must be educated in the right path for him. We can understand from this that every person must vigilantly educate himself to act as is fitting in each situation.
“For example, we certainly must speak with restraint and are better off not speaking in front of one who is older and has more experience as we find in Avos. But that does not apply to those who scoff the Torah and its values. Regarding such people we must certainly speak if we can do so with understanding, enabling others to see how false their opinions are.
“As we find in Meseches Derech Eretz, one must not be sad where people are joyous or overtly happy when people are sad. We must learn to speak with talmidei chachomim as is fitting and with the ignorant in a different manner. To those who are truly wise and will appreciate it, we should give moral direction to help them improve. We must refrain from giving the ignorant rebuke since this will not help. On the contrary, they will resent such intrusion and react angrily.
“The same is true in every regard. Sometimes one action is appropriate and other times we must act in the exact opposite manner. We must learn how to deal with the challenges of every encounter. Sometimes the best path is to pretend to fall asleep. Sometimes, we must act with decisiveness. In other situations it is better to be deliberate. The main thing is to learn how to act in each situation and educate ourselves slowly but surely to improve.”
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The Rama, zt”l, provides a wondrous explanation of the placement--and the avodah--of the laver. “The Tzror Hamor, zt”l, teaches that a person must wash away all spiritual filth, as we find in Yeshayah, 'רחצו הזכו'. It is for this reason that Hashem commanded us to make the laver and place water in it. Anyone who wishes to come close to Hashem and enter the environs of the Shechinah must first remove the foreign ideologies that defile both his body and his soul. Based on this, we can understand why the kior was fashioned from mirrors. Washing ourselves represents the self-examination that is the prerequisite of true internal change. This is also why we find that the kior was positioned a bit south of the altar. The southern side where the menorah stood alludes to wisdom, as we find in Bava Basra. Purifying one’s mind and attitude requires wisdom.”
Negative attitudes and false perspectives are easily overlooked. We must check our reflection carefully: Do things we say, although they are well meant, sometimes have a subtle tone of kefirah or leitzanus to them? When we have a question, are we sure to phrase it in a way that does not betray a lack of respect for the sages?
A certain person once asked the Alter of Kelm, zt”l, a very penetrating question. Based on his understanding there was a clear contradiction in the sources that could not be reconciled. Although the Alter often fielded such difficult questions, he felt that the way the question was phrased revealed a kernel of apikorsus in the questioner’s heart. He immediately called out this young but brilliant student on his false beliefs and expelled him from the Talmud Torah when he would not recant.
Years later this very same student—now a famous gadol—always related with the greatest respect to the Alter. It was clear that he had no claim against the harsh treatment he had received. On the contrary, he understood that the Alter had been correct and changed himself for the better.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
The Meaning of the Fig Tree
The obligation of gratitude is truly staggering. The Akeidas Yitzchak, zt”l, writes, “The worst and most damaging character trait is a lack of gratitude.”
Rav Meshulam Dovid Soleveitchik, shlit”a, uses this concept to explain an interesting Rashi. “In Zevachim 58 we find that we offer the incense from the second ma’aracha on fig branches. Rashi explains the aggadaic reason for this practice. ‘We use specifically a fig branch since it was through this branch that Adam covered his nakedness.’ This teaches the real extent of hakaras hatov. Even though the fruit of this very tree caused death to Adam and all of his descendants, it does not detract from our obligation to express hakaras hatov to this tree since our earliest ancestors fashioned chaguros from its leaves.”
But the Tiferes Yisrael, zt”l, understood this Rashi in a very different manner. “Adam Harishon sinned since he and Chavah accepted the snake’s words of slander against Hashem. Since the incense atones for lashon hara, we use the branches of the fig tree which covered Adam’s nakedness then.”
But it may be possible to suggest a third explanation. The verse tells us, 'נוצר תאנה יטול פריו'—“He who guards the fig tree will eat its fruit.” Our sages explain that the fig tree produces fruit in small batches, so that if someone misses a day, he is unable to harvest the entire crop. The same is true with Torah. If one is like Yehoshua, who always was in the tent, he will eat of its fruits. But one whose commitment is haphazard will not succeed like one who is more committed.
Specifically a fig leaf covered Adam’s nakedness to teach that only through Torah could what he lost be regained. We use this wood for the ketores to teach the very same lesson. Only through Torah will we merit to transform our negative character traits, alluded to in the chelbonah, into good.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Body and Soul of Halachah
The Toldos Yaakov Yosef teaches a very inspiring lesson from a statement on today’s daf. “The language the gemara uses for the obligation to learn the laws of Pesach before Pesach, 'שואלין ודורשין', is strangely doubled. This is because every halachah is composed of two different layers which must be studied and applied.
“For example, the mitzvah of prayer has an outer shell and an inner dimension. Saying the words of the prayer is compared to the body of the mitzvah, while the kavanah is its soul. And the same is true regarding all other mitzvos.
“It follows that the halachos of destroying chometz has two dimensions: the physical acts involved in eradicating chometz and their deeper meaning. Destroying chometz hints that we must destroy the evil inclination. When we burn the chometz we focus on incinerating the evil within. And the same is true regarding when we kasher food implements for Pesach. Our sages famously teach, כבולעו כך פולטו—‘removal of whatever has been absorbed is through the exact same process with which it was absorbed.’ If it was absorbed through boiling we must boil the vessel to kasher it, and the same is true regarding other ways that chometz may have been absorbed in the vessel.
“The inner meaning of this is we must concentrate on doing a balanced teshuvah for what we have done, just as the absorbed chometz only comes out if we apply the same heat through which it was absorbed. If we did something apathetically, it is relatively easy to repent this. If a forbidden action was done with enthusiasm it is that much harder to remove its impression.
“The language 'שואלין', teaches that we must ask and delve into the actual halachos of what to do. The word, 'דורשין' implies that we search for the deep mussar these acts teach us. The Torah scholar’s job is to educate people in both the body and soul of these halachos!”
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
A Mistake in Judgment
Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, was very clear that one must take responsibility for his actions. He pointed out that even learned people often rationalize away what is clearly their halachic responsibility. One must always be aware that he is accountable for his actions to Hashem and his fellow man.
In a certain place there was a man who learned with amazing diligence. He was so careful to use every instant to learn that he when he was tired he would hold a lit candle in his hand to ensure that if he fell asleep he would wake up in a short time and continue learning.
One night he was especially tired, and instead of the candle waking him, he dropped it and continued to sleep. Sadly, the wooden shul in which he dozed went up in a blaze of fire. Although eventually it was doused, the flame caused a huge amount of damage.
When people found out how much this dedicated masmid had pushed himself to learn, they praised his superhuman dedication to Torah, calling him an angel. But Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, vehemently disagreed with this approach. “See how this kind of ‘hasmadah’ is likely to have ruined this man’s ability to learn undisturbed for the rest of his life! Obviously it is forbidden for him to continue learning as was his wont, since he must now work full time to repay the vast damage that he caused. Due to an error in judgment of a single night he now is bound to pay the community back for his negligence.”
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
White Instead of Black
When Rav Raphael of Barshad, zt”l, first began to search for the ideal way to serve Hashem, he heard that learning the Zohar Hakadosh was a great segulah for attaining fear of heaven. He therefore began learning a great deal of Zohar. After learning through the whole Zohar, he started the Zohar Chadash. Towards the end of the Zohar Chadash, there is a warning against being like Bil’am, who was a complete fool despite his great knowledge of serving Hashem.
Rav Raphael said to himself, “If one can know so much and still be a fool, perhaps I should focus instead on the Shulchan Aruch so that my study will bring me to ma’aseh.”
He started learning the Shulchan Aruch in depth, but when he got to Orach Chaim #231, “All of one’s acts should be for the sake of heaven,” he again felt that something was missing.
“Are all of my actions really l’shem shomayim? Perhaps I should spend more time on mussar?” he wondered. Rav Rafael therefore added study of the Shelah HaKadosh to his schedule.
He was so immersed in the Shelah that he would learn it at every opportunity. He would even take it with him when waking the townsfolk for davening so that he would not waste a single minute. But after a while he again felt as if something was missing. So he traveled to the famous Rav Pinchas of Koretz, zt”l, for advice.
Rav Rafael poured out his heart. “I want to serve Hashem in truth, but everything I have tried has been insufficient!” He was so distressed that he actually fainted.
When he came to, Rav Pinchas said, “If you stay with me, you will come to truth.”
Three years later, Rav Rafael dreamed that he was playing cards. Although his hand started out with black cards, they all turned white in the end. When he shared his dream with Rav Pinchas, he was given a powerful interpretation.
“Your dream is like the gemara in Beitzah 10b, about one who designated black birds and found white ones instead. When you first came to me, you were blackened with worry and chumros, and this prevented you from serving Hashem in truth. But now you are white with virtue and purity!”
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The Characteristic of a Fool…
The Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, would often take people to task for not devoting enough time to learning. Whenever he would notice an expensive and unnecessary ornament gracing a former student’s home, he would bemoan, “I don’t see a carpet, or drapes, or what have you. I see pages and pages of Gemara!”
He once offered a novel explanation of the importance of making full use of every moment for study. “The Gemara says in Chagigah 4a that one of the characteristics of a fool is that he habitually loses that which he is given. The halacha follows the Tosefta that Rav Papa cites, that one who always loses that which he is given is a fool.
The Chofetz Chaim then cried out, “There is nothing more precious than time! You can’t buy more for all the money in the world! In the course of a single minute, one can say two hundred words. Each word is a mitzvah in itself. How can one waste the time for the purchase of luxuries? Even worse, how can one be such a fool as to let it slip away through simple carelessness?”
Of course, there are other lessons that can be learned from this Gemara. A certain “chossid shoteh” once came to the Maggid of Kozhnitz, zt”l, and asked for a segulah to help him find an object that he had lost. The man had foolishly left his belonging unattended in a public place, and it was almost certainly stolen because of his irresponsibility. Even so, the man exhibited no awareness that he had caused his own trouble and still sought the item.
The Maggid said with some asperity, “Go home and say ‘Eizehu’ three times. That is your segulah.”
Without a second thought, the man went home and recited Eizehu Mekoman three times with painstaking kavanah, but nothing happened. His lost object failed to materialize.
He returned to the Maggid with a complaint. “I recited Eizehu three times just as you said, but nothing came of it. I still haven’t found my aveidah!”
The Maggid answered curtly, “I didn’t mean Eizehu in Zevachim. I meant in Chagigah! Eizehu shoteh hameabed mah shenosnim lo!”
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Sensitivity to Another
The Alter of Slobodka, zt”l, was well known to be a mechanech par excellence. He always noticed what others did and would issue moral direction in exactly the right manner to help the student. His incredible success attests to his acumen. So many prominent rabbis and poskim emerged from Slobodka, that the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, remarked that he was jealous of the Alter. When the surprised hearers asked why, the Chofetz Chaim replied, “I write seforim but he makes mentschen!”
One time the Alter was walking behind a bochur in the street when he noticed the young man go to the side of the sidewalk, stoop to the ground, and pick up a paper. After he gazed at the paper for no more than an instant he replaced it on the ground.
The Alter approached and requested that he explain his strange behavior.
“I noticed that the paper was printed in Hebrew and I figured it was sheimos from a holy sefer and required genizah. But it only took a moment to realize that the paper was not sheimos at all—far from it—and I put it back on the side. After all, it is very much to the side and no one will be damaged by it.”
The Alter looked at him gravely and gently said, “Tell me, what is the halachah for someone who causes his friend to fall to the ground?”
“He is responsible for all damage incurred to the person,” the young man replied.
“How did you fail to realize that another person may very well walk by and also mistakenly think this page is sheimos and bend over for nothing to lift up this paper? By throwing it back down—despite the fact that no one will physically trip over it—you have fashioned a bor b’reshus harabim. This is a stumbling block for your friend since what difference does it make if the bor makes a person fall to the ground or bend over for naught? The moment you picked up the paper and noticed that it was not sheimos, you should have kept it to throw in the garbage to save another some trouble!”
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Effects of Shatnez
When the Mirrer Yeshiva was temporarily sheltered in Shanghai during World War II, the entire yeshiva felt a powerful stirring to learn Torah and Mussar and pray with special intensity. Although they had been fortunate enough to escape the Germans, they knew that living under the Japanese was no guarantee of safety since the Japanese were allied with Nazi Germany and could turn against the Jews any day. Furthermore, there was no protection against the Allied air raids of Shanghai. The only protection was clearly to be secured from their Father in heaven, through heartfelt prayer, introspection, and diligent learning.
On Yom Kippur, the intensity of the tefillos was hard to imagine. Oddly enough, in the middle of the davening, a certain very prominent student left the beis medrash for a short time and then returned in his weekday outfit. He resumed his tefillah and remained in his place until the end of the long day.
After Yom Kippur, another bochur asked the one who had left why he had done such a strange thing.
The first bochur explained, “When I was davening, I felt that my tefillos were just not flowing with even the kind of intensity that I have gotten used to during an ordinary weekday. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong, and so I tried to learn a little mussar. Although this usually is very helpful, this time it did nothing for me. I suddenly realized that my new Shabbos suit might be the culprit. I saw in the Tzionei on Chumash that wearing shatnez prevents ones prayers from ascending. I quickly went to change into my weekday clothes, and as soon as I returned I could tell that my suspicions were right because all the barriers just melted away.”
“But didn’t you check your new clothes for shatnez?” the other bochur asked.
“I did, but my feeling on Yom Kippur made me certain that the one who had checked had missed something.”
The following day, the suit was thoroughly re-examined, and sure enough there were parts that had been processed with linen in a way that was very difficult to detect. The suit was simply riddled with shatnez!