Spirit of the Law: Chanukah

Reb Nosson, zt”l, explains that the “Al HaNissim” prayer was instituted because we overcame the kingdom of Yavan and the evil Haman, who were jealous of us and wanted to keep us from serving Hashem. Haman didn’t even want any Jew to be left alive! However, Hashem in His great mercy didn’t abandon us. He turned our grief and anguish into joy. Not only did they fail abysmally, but we gained two holy festival—Chanukah and Purim—which have sustained us throughout our long exile. We see, then, that their very attempt to destroy us has actually been the means through which we have gained the strength we need to survive until the redemption. The events that led up to our deliverance have made us worthy of receiving new and powerful spiritual illuminations and new mitzvos: the lighting of the menorah, recitation of Hallel, and the special Torah readings on Chanukah; and the reading of the megillah, sending of mishloach manos, contributions to the poor, and the festival meal and drinking on Purim.

The descent turned into an ascent—this is the character of Chanukah and Purim, and it can also be true for everyone, all the time. Every day, and at every moment, Hashem is orchestrating events in the most miraculous way to prevent us from falling completely. On the contrary, He turns all of our falls into ascents if we are only willing and try our best to begin again. This is the essence of doing teshuvah our of love—through which all of our sins are transformed into merits. This is how we can rise ever higher in our service of Hashem!

Withholding One’s Blessings

The Alter of Kelm, zt”l, discusses the awful consequences of being penny-pinching. “Miserliness is a reprehensible middah. Rabbeinu Yonah teaches that this defect is the source of all bad middos, since a person afflicted with it is liable to do any evil to avoid paying money. One who is enthralled with making money will eventually fall into very low places. His greed will make it easy for him to lose touch with what is important, as Rabbeinu Tam writes in Sefer Hayashar.
“Kayin was one of the first human beings and was clearly very spiritually developed. He understood why we bring korbanos from his own intellect and he brought a sacrifice. In addition, Kayin knew that only Hevel’s sacrifice was pleasing to Hashem.
The Alter continued, “Nevertheless, despite all of his advantages, Kayin killed his brother. What caused this? His lack of open-handedness, since if he had been generous, his korban would have been accepted. Kayin reasoned that beauty in serving Hashem was unnecessary, since the main thing is one’s intention. If what Hashem wants is what is in a person’s heart, why waste resources?
“Although this is true regarding someone who has nothing or very little to give, it is an error for one who has more means to use this an excuse. He should give what he has, in accordance with his means, to Hashem. It is only by bringing the best we can that we show that we are willing to give anything we have for Hashem.”
This is the meaning of Moshe’s words to Yisrael: “When you ascend to the land, sacrifice yashrus, not chovos.” This teaches that one should bring a sacrifice which is fitting, not a cheap offering that is below his means.
But the Bamidbar Yehudah, zt”l, explains differently. “Moshe was telling them the right way to approach Hashem. We must always focus on yashrus, what is righteous about the Jewish people. Never chovos, their sins or deficiencies.”

Chizuk from the Mishkan

The Toras Kohanim explains that when Moshe erected and took down the Mishkan throughout the week of miluim, this symbolized that he erected all seven future placements of the Mishkan: in the desert itself, at Gilgal, in Nov, in Givon, and in Shilo, as well as the first and second Batei Mikdash.
The Beis Yisrael, zt”l, explained this in a very powerful manner. “Despite the Toras Kohanim, the exact purpose of Moshe erecting and taking down the Mishkan seven times is still unclear. After all, what as the point of this elaborate symbolism?
“It seems to me that Moshe made a spiritual impression in each of these Mishkenos. This impression enabled us to keep going despite these destructions. To bring this down to Jews in every generation, there are always difficulties and hardships facing us both in spiritual and material concerns. Moshe himself erected and took down the Mishkan to imbue in us the ability to start again and keep moving no matter what challenges and falls we may face. Even if we are weakened in avodah and put upon from within and without, we will always be able to get back up again. As the verse states, 'שבע יפול צדיק וקם'—‘A tzaddik falls seven times and gets up.’”
Rav Nosson of Breslov, zt”l, explains in a similar manner. “Moshe himself put up and took down the Mishkan to give it the power to imbue holiness in even the most desolate spiritual wilderness. The Mishkan was erected all over the wilderness where we wandered, a place of snakes and scorpions. This gave us the strength to start again, no matter the form of spiritual desolation in which the person is caught. No matter where a person finds himself, he can always start again and reconnect to Hashem.
Rav Mordechai of Lechvitz, zt”l, taught a similar lesson. “Chassidus depends on understanding the importance of every spiritual action. It follows that one who loses track of the vast greatness of every good act has lost touch with what it means to be a chassid.
He concluded, “To put it bluntly, one who cannot daven minchah with enthusiasm immediately after committing the worst sin, chas v’shalom, has not yet stepped on the doorstep of true chassidus!”

The Nighttime Offering

Rav Shach, zt”l, once traveled to the Kotel with a close student. He was obviously very moved by the visit and offered a very heartfelt prayer. When they were on the way home Rav Shach explained what had touched him so deeply. “I remembered that a certain person is very ill but I also recalled the Nefesh Hachaim who writes that Hashem renews the world every instant of each day. I pleaded with Hashem, ‘Master of the world! Just like you renew creation at all times, you can make it that this man will have a complete recovery. After all, the world is completely recreated. Surely in this new world You can cause that he feels entirely better!”
The Rama, zt”l, provides a similar explanation for why we only offer sacrifices by day, yet we may bring the innards and limbs of the animals on the mizbeach at night. “Korbanos allude to Hashem’s complete recreation of the world at all times, which is the foundation of emunah. The person who brings an offering affirms that there is Divine providence and that he is in Hashem’s hands like a defenseless animal. For this reason they are offered by day whose light is called good. As the verse states, 'וירא אלוקים את האור כי טוב'. Since the night represents the darkness when we do not perceive Hashem’s kindness, it is not fitting to offer sacrifices which teach Hashem’s renewal of the world.
“But bringing the fats and limbs onto the altar which is not essential for the atonement represents the material nature of this world, which obscures Hashem’s renewal. For this reason these can be brought at night which represents the apparent darkness of this world.”

How to Serve Hashem with Joy

Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, zt”l, offered practical advice how to serve Hashem with joy. “The main purpose of creation was to take pleasure in one’s Divine service. In order to feel this pleasure one must consider that when one davens or learns Torah this gives Hashem great joy. This fact is readily apparent from the Mishnah which lists of six things for which a sacrifice must be brought. 'L’shem reyach, l’shem nichoach'--Rashi explains that this means that Hashem takes pleasure when we bring sacrifices since we are following His commands. This is our main task: to give nachas to Hashem.
“We need only consider that every positive action draws down bounty from on high. Every good action we do matters so much! Our hearts will be enflamed with enthusiasm and we should all say to ourselves, ‘Here I am, a human being formed from a putrid drop; one day I will leave this world and my body will rot in the grave, yet right now I can give pleasure to the Creator! My every mitzvah makes such a difference!’
“Every Jew is obligated to feel immense joy and satisfaction that he merits such favor from on high. But what if he is filled with doubts due to humility, and wonders to himself, “Yet what am I that I should think that Hashem has bestowed upon my avodah such importance?’ He must respond to this question in the following manner, ‘This is a kindness from Hashem which has nothing to do with anything I have done. It is truly a wonder that a human being fashioned from mere flesh and blood can give pleasure and joy to the King of kings!”

No Matter What

Rav Yechezkel Abramsky, zt”l, was an extraordinary scholar as well as a great tzaddik, yet he also made time to give a daily shiur for baalei batim in the Bayit Vegan neighborhood of Yerushalayim.
One of the regular attendees once approached Rav Abramsky and said sheepishly, “I really love your shiurim since what you say really speaks to me. But your words are so sweet that within a few minutes I fall fast asleep for the rest of the shiur. Do you think that I should continue coming?”
Now anyone ought to know that it is better to go to a shiur even if he falls asleep than to waste the time in idle pursuits. But Rav Abramsky also understood that his job was to convince this discouraged baal habayis to continue coming to the shiur. Merely telling him he was better off staying certainly would not give him the chizuk to persevere. So Rav Abramsky chose to give an inspiring answer instead.
“The gemara states that a kohein must sanctify his hands and feet when entering the Azarah. The gemara there discusses various questions of when one must sanctify himself and what type of action works to sanctify him. Interestingly, the Rambam writes that one who sanctified his hands and feet at the laver and then falls asleep must sanctify himself again when he wakes up. The Sefas Emes explains that since when one slumbers his neshamah goes on high, this is the same as leaving the azarah. It follows that he must again sanctify his hands and feet.
Rav Abramsky appealed to the baal habayis, “Think about it. When you fall asleep at the shiur, your soul ascends on high and you can be melamed zechus on our shiur before the heavenly tribunal and point out that there are still some Jews who love Torah and attend shiurim even when doing so is difficult for them!”
His words were spoken with such warmth and they entered this man’s heart and encouraged him to stay. Eventually, he began to remain awake during the shiur and he later became an accomplished scholar thanks to this shiur.

The Value of Every Effort

Rav Yaakov Meir Shechter, shlit”a, taught a very inspiring lesson from a statement of our sages “In the midrash we find that Hashem wished to return the world to primordial chaos because of the heinous acts of Yehoyakim. It is therefore not surprising that the gemara asks why Yehoyakim is not on the list of kings who have no portion in the next world. The gemara explains that he received atonement due to the humiliation of not being buried. Rav Preida’s grandfather found a skull near the gates of Yerushalayim. On the skull was imprinted, ‘This and another.’ He buried it but it resurfaced. When this happened again, he understood that this was the skull of Yehoyakim, regarding whom the verse states, ‘He will be buried like a donkey.’ This was the first act of recompense that was alluded to in the inscription. But despite this curse, Rav Preida’s grandfather figured that it was inappropriate for a king to be dishonored in this manner and he wrapped it in silk and placed it in a chest. His wife found it and her neighbors reasoned that it was likely of his first wife whom he could not forget; in a fit of jealousy she burned it in the oven. This was the other act of recompense imprinted on the skull.’
“We learn from this gemara the vast importance of every action in this world. If this humiliation after death was enough to atone for Yehoyakim’s many sins, it is obvious that every embarrassment or effort one makes while still in this world certainly helps rectify one’s sins. But of course one requires great siyattah d’Shmayah to merit such atonement.
“Our main hope and prayer must be that Hashem shine His face upon us and be gracious to us, as the midrash learns from the verse, 'האר פניך ונושעה'. Sometime a ha’aras panim is shined on one and through one experience or thought he can change himself from one extreme to the other!”

One Day at a Time

The Chasam Sofer, zt”l, learns a very practical lesson about one’s daily avodas Hashem from Sanhedrin 100. “Our sages teach that one should not worry about tomorrow since perhaps he will no longer live by then. Why worry about a world he has no part in? This is very valuable advice that shows how to overcome our yetzer hara. If one focuses on the long struggle he will have throughout his entire life, he can easily give up on himself. Just thinking about the unrelenting effort required to overcome the evil within is enough to discourage anyone, since who knows that he will be able to keep up the struggle?
“Instead, one should focus on the day he is in right now. He should act as though he only has this day to live, since he really has no guarantee that he has a moment longer. He should tell himself that just for that day he will refuse to listen to his yetzer hara. After all, one day is really not too difficult. The next day he should once again focus only on that day. In this manner he will be able to overcome his yetzer hara with relative ease.
“This is the meaning of the verse, 'ואתם הדקבים בה' אלקיכם חיים כלכם היום'—‘And you who cleave to Hashem your G-d, your are all alive this day.’ Those who wish to attain true dveikus with Hashem can do so through focusing exclusively on living and overcoming the evil within only on the day he is now living. In this manner he will truly cleave to his Creator and never need to feel overwhelmed by the task ahead of him.”
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, zt"l, also adjures us to live only in the present. In his words, "Yesterday and tomorrow are man's downfall. Today we may be inspired to come close to Hashem but yesterday and tomorrow hold us back."
This is one of the many paths Rebbe Nachman shared with us to come to joy when things are hard. Just focus on the present, as if we were born today.

Chizuk for Dangerous Times

A certain Gerrer chassid was serving in the Israeli army during wartime and was often in situations of mortal danger, so he went to asked his Rebbe, the Beis Yisroel, zt”l, for some badly needed chizuk. The Beis Yisroel, zt”l, encouraged him with the words of our sages: “The Mishnah brings the verse that discusses our battle with Amalek and says that when Moshe raised his hands, the Jewish people were victorious. It goes on to ask rhetorically, can the hands of Moshe bring victory or defeat in battle? It answers that the verse is meant to teach us that when the Jewish people looked up and subdued their hearts to their Father in Heaven, they would triumph but when they faltered, they would suffer losses.
Similarly, we see that Moshe Rabbeinu was told to forge a copper serpent and place it on a banner so that the Jewish people could gaze at it and recover from their wounds. The Mishnah again asks the same basic question: does a copper snake on a banner have the power to give life or take it away? Once again, we are taught the same lesson: when they looked at the copper snake on the banner, they would subdue their hearts to their Father in Heaven and be healed. If not, they would die.”
The Rebbe concluded, “We see from this that when one directs his heart to his Father in heaven, he need not fear even snakes and scorpions! Even when you are in the middle of a battlefield, any place of danger, if you place your trust in Hashem, direct your hope to Him, and wait for His salvation, nothing can harm you!”

Chizuk and Chanukah

[This post is a response to Theresa and Shorty in the comments]
No one is "unworthy," even though we all make mistakes at times. If we keep getting up and doing what we can we will fulfill our spiritual mission in the world.
The main thing is to beg Hashem to light up our life and show us His will. Easier said than done but Rav Nosson writes that even five minutes (or thirty seconds) a day is also very efficacious. As Rebbe Nachman explains the verse: "Hashem is close to all who call to Hashem in truth." Every sincere prayer said with as much truth as a person can muster immediately brings one close to Hashem no matter what level he is on, as implied in the verse.
Feeling unworthy is just an illusion; a tactic of the yetzer to paralyze us and prevent us from finding the way out of spiritual darkness through sincere prayer. Even if we can't say a word, we can surely cry out: "Help me!" Or at least, "Help me." Another gem of Rebbe Nachman is that if we feel distant for whatever reason we should talk out such feelings with Hashem. This often becomes a prayer truly from the heart, the precursor to many more.
We need to learn to ignore discouraging feelings and all negativity which bring on such feelings, until a time when we have a lot of joy and "merit to see the evil of our sins." This means that we finally see our importance, but we realize that such actions are not appropriate for a son or daughter of Hashem. This feeling of importance is the foundation of all divine service, as Rabeinu Yonah writes. One who feels insignificant, is not only denying the truth, he or she feels unable to make a difference and does much less. Why should we allow the negative to disable us? Although such feelings are the result of our sins which obscure the divine, we need not allow such negativity to hold us back. We can always reconnect through heartfelt prayer in truth on whatever level we are on.
As with anything precious, learning how to navigate past the negativity takes time, but every effort is worthwhile in and of itself.
Hashem should help us feel the light of Chanukah and forge a joyous connection to Hashem through prayer during this special time!

How the Chazon Ish Viewed Sickness

After recovering from suffering we are less self-absorbed and more open to Torah and kedushah. A certain Rosh Yeshivah recounted, “When I was a boy of eleven, I sustained a wound and became very ill. First, I went to our family doctor who ordered that I lie down in the hope that everything would work out on its own. After two weeks, I was still sick and the doctor came to our house. The moment he checked my lungs he immediately sent me to the hospital. I was there for sixteen days but subsequently went home. Unfortunately, I again felt sick and went to the hospital for a check up and x-rays. The doctor removed three cups of fluid from my lungs but afterward, the doctors found that there was an abscess on the lungs and I required an immediate operation. A second professor claimed that the abscess was not actually in my lungs and after several tests I was discharged for the final time. After two months, I recovered.
He continued, “After the first time I was discharged from the hospital, the doctor gave me a certain medication which made me violently ill. I turned completely red for three days and when the doctor checked me he pointed out that I must stop the medication immediately since I was clearly allergic to it. On the Shabbos before Rosh Chodesh Nisan תש"ו I was surprised by a visit from the Chazon Ish, zt”l. The gadol was very close to my father, and he came to visit and to check on my progress. The Chazon Ish entered the room—my mother cried to Hashem and my father was filled with worry for my wellbeing—and he soothed me in a very loving manner. While he stroked me gently, he said, “Suffering is good, suffering is good. Don’t cry at all. You will merit much Torah because of your present difficulty!”

Staying Married

Our sages teach that a shotah, halachic imbecile, cannot be divorced from her husband because she keeps on returning to him. The Chidushei HaRim, zt”l, learned a powerful lesson from this principle. Just as the shotah cannot be divorced, so too does one remain “married” to spirituality as long as he “keeps coming back” by acting as a ben aliyah would despite his shortcomings. One is only divorced from spirituality when one gives up on spiritual ascent because of his flaws.
A young bochur once came to Rav Wolbe, zt”l, feeling very confused and frustrated. He said, “I don’t know what to do with myself! Sometimes I feel very drawn to spiritual matters like learning with a fire and davening. At other times I act in ways not befitting a ben Torah. What is my avodah worth if I keep falling into the same spiritual morasses?”
The Mashgiach replied, “Your feelings are the result of a simple fact: as long as one is young, one finds in himself various contradictions. On the one hand, you may be very drawn to spiritual matters. You have a taste in davening and can literally pour out yout heart to Hashem. You may feel an incredibly intrinsic identification with the Torah that you learn. On the other hand, you also might enjoy joking around and making fun of things with friends.
The Mashgiach continued, “So what should you do? Just because you enjoy joking around and sometimes even wander into the realm of leitzanus, is that an excuse not to daven with kavanah? Surely this path only leads to complete estrangement from spiritual growth! Quite the contrary—since you notice this flaw in yourself and this bothers you, this should be a reason to exert yourself all the more to daven with a geshmack and seek spiritual growth in any way you can! In time you will be drawn more and more after spiritual elevation until you outgrow your spiritual immaturity altogether.”
The Mashgiach concluded, “Until then you must learn to bear the unflattering assessment of your peers and even consent to be the brunt of their jokes. If you persevere, however, you will overcome your weaknesses and flourish!”

Feeling Guilty?

Here's a recent chat that transpired between Micha and one of our friends abroad. We're posting it with his kind permission, just in case anyone else has been feeling really guilty or anxious lately.

Remember: Don't Worry, Be Happy!



Chatting About Guilt...

Question (AG): What does the Torah say about guilt? MG: Rav Nosson of Breslov says that guilt is almost never productive. The reason why is that usually a person doesn't sustain positive action for long because of guilt. On the contrary, one tends to sink and doesn't move forward at all. This is the worst spiritual fall, the fall of despair. Why is it so bad? Because whatever one may have messed up or fallen into can be corrected…unless one gives up. AG: I think that it may move some people to do more, but perhaps only short term. How do you suggest I deal with my guilt? It usually turns into anxiety for me. MG: Sometimes the truth itself can be damaging. This kind of truth should usually be ignored until one is ready to deal with it positively. AG: Wow. That’s amazing. MG: I think the best way of dealing with guilt is to realize that right now I need to focus on connecting to G-d. Guilt simply distances me from Him. AG: That’s beautiful. MG: This is why one of Hashem's names is Makom, “The Place,” since every place is a reflection of G-dliness and in every place one can find G-d. Furthermore, Rebbe Nachman said that one needs to merit to feel the damage done by sins in a balanced positive way. It’s sort of like trying to take out the garbage; there’s no need to lament about it or focus to much on it. Just do your best to notice the trouble’s EASILY corrected and act. This is not meant as an excuse or an atonement out of guilt, an excuse not to have a conscience. It’s just a way to really connect to Hashem from exactly where I stand spiritually. Breslov is filled with encouragement—it’s a big emphasis. AG: What about stress or anxiety? MG: Well, you need to realize that there are a lot of ways of relieving stress. You will probably find that one way may help at one time while at a different time you may find that a different way is most effective. AG: Yes. MG: It is important to diffuse the stress. This is done by following the paths to happiness and joy and takes a lot of willingness and open-mindedness. In a nutshell… You can pray about it, you can talk to another person about it, you can try and find a good point in it. The psalm states, “A mizmor (song) of David regarding his son Avshalom…” The Talmud asks, “Shouldn’t it say a lament rather than a son, seeing that his own son was rebelling against him!” The answer given is that David said to himself: “At least it’s my son. If it would have been a stranger he may have killed me. My son will not likely be so drastic.” Rav Nosson asks, “What does this mean? It still sounds like it deserves to be a lament.” AG: Yes. MG: He explains that when things seem impossible the best way to counter this is to pray. But who can possibly pray? One needs to find something good about the situation in order to be able to open up to Hashem in prayer. That is way David did. He found a seemingly tiny advantage and sang about it to enable himself to pray to G-d earnestly. This is also a strong way of praying when things seem impossible. AG: Wow. MG: There is so much more… Another powerful method is crying out from the deepest depths to G-d, "Where are you???" In Hebrew its “Ayeh???” This reveals a very powerful spiritual illumination and picks one up to the highest places. This is because the world was created with ten sayings; nine of “vayomer Elokim” (“and G-d said”) and one hidden utterance within the word Bereishis, “In the beginning.” The hidden Divine utterance gives life to those who are distant from Hashem (all of us are at some point, although not always in the same way). The moment one can't feel the G-dly character of the world one is distant. The solution is to search for Hashem with all of one’s might. To cry out, “Where are you, G-d? Ayeh???” This draws down the hidden G-dliness that gives life in such places. MG: Another way is to realize that there is always a way to call upon Hashem. The trouble is that one feels spiritually in the dark and can't find the way out of this because the darkness hides the exits. By calling out in truth, even not so powerfully (like Ayeh which is like a kind of searching shout) but on one's level even asking in a whisper for goodness or connection or whatever, this reveals Hashem. This is because it says that Hashem is close to all who call Him in truth--this means any kind of true call. The example I heard from my uncle of this call is the guy who comes to the Kotel and wonders if there is really a G-d up there, so he decides to put it to the test by saying, “If You’re really there, send me a sign.” At that moment he feels a hand on his shoulder and someone says, “Would you like to spend Shabbos with a family, or the day in yeshiva?” This guy wasn't searching for Hashem by crying from his deepest depths, he was just doing what he easily could. But that’s enough because Hashem doesn't want from us what we can 't give, only what we can easily give. The little steps add up to very many steps until we get where we need to go. There is a lot more but are you up to it? AG: Wow, amazing. Please go on if you have time. MG: I can make some more time with pleasure! The next concept is the importance of every good desire We believe that every sincere desire is not lost. Sorry by the way for not including sources, but it is just chat. Most of what I say is from Rebbe Nachman or Rav Nosson, but there is a lot more… So when one does something good it is forever! The only exception is when one is not sincere. So if one realizes how precious every good desire is that is also a very powerful way to become joyous even when things are difficult. The Talmud tells that Rav Eliezer said he hoped to die on the way to doing a mitzvah. The obvious question is why not “having done it”? Doesn’t he sound like an “almost made it” kind of guy? AG: Hmm… MG: The Maharal explains certainly one who does a mitzva gets the spiritual lift from the mitzvah, but one who is on the way to a mitzva and then another and another and focuses on this is at one with what he is yearning for. In this case, Hashem. The Ramchal actually says that one who yearns for Hashem achieves a direct line to Him, as the word for hope, Kivuy, comes from the word line, kav. He even says that one who hopes to Hashem will not be embarrassed even if he hasn't done so much good. He says that the main purification of a ba'al teshuvah is his hoping to Hashem, the opposite of guilt and stress. So feel better! AG: Thank you so much. MG: Hope to hear from you soon! AG: You really energize me. MG: Very happy to hear it. Make sure to rest enough and try and take it easy! Shalom and have a complete recovery!

Make a Rav for Yourself

This Shabbos, the Ribbono Shel Olam sent us a lot of guests and we enjoyed them immensely. During the afternoon meal, the conversation at the table was dominated by the question of what it means to become part of a community, how does a baal teshuvah find his or her place, and other questions of a spiritual nature. And one of our guests was very obviously in a dilemma about what her next move ought to be; she wanted direction, but she also seemed very set in her ideas about what would be right for her.
Later on in the day, when I had some time to myself, I realized that this is part of the meaning of the statement of the Sages in Pirkei Avos: "Asei lecha Rav..."--"Make a Rav, a master who'll be your teacher, for yourself." One would think that the Mishnah ought to say, "choose a Rav," or perhaps, "find a Rav," but it doesn't. It says to make your mentor. So it occurred to me that it is not the objective value of the potential teacher, what he has to teach, that makes him the Rav--it is my willingness to accept his marus, his authority, over me that invests another person with the power to guide my life. And if I am not willing to accept that authority, then I never truly have a Rav no matter how many lectures I attend or even how many questions I ask.
Just to complete the Mishnah, I'll bring a beautiful thought from Reb Nosson of Breslov, zt"l: "...U'knei lecha chaver..."--"Acquire a friend for yourself." Reb Nosson offers a play on words; knei in Hebrew can be the singular masculine command form "acquire!" but it also means, "a pen." He writes, and it's brought in the Milei d'Avos from Likutei Halachos I don't remember where, that your pen (or your keyboard) is your true friend. Use the pen, use writing as a tool to develop your Torah thoughts, your prayers, your connection with other people by offering them chizuk, encouragement.
May we all merit to enjoy a gezunte vinter, a healthy winter, and a good year.