Rav Zusia and the Miser

Once when Rav Zusia of Anapoli, zt”l, went around collecting tzedakah with another rav they had a singular experience. It was when they went to visit a certain miser whom the rav knew never donated to any cause, not matter how worthy. When the two were invited into the wealthy miser’s home and he predictably refused to donate a penny, Rav Zusia asked him why.
“What do you mean, why?” barked the man. “I picked up my conduct from a clear gemara in Bava Basra 9. There we find that while one who gives charity receives six blessings, one who speaks kindly to the poor gets eleven. Isn’t it better to honor the poor man without giving a cent? After all, one who does so is granted almost double the blessing, so obviously he is doing the main avodah!”
While the rav who had accompanied Rav Zusia stood speechless at the man’s callousness to the plight of others, Rav Zusia drily replied, “You have not learned the gemara correctly. After all, why would the one who honors the poor be afforded greater blessing when the actual money given to him feeds him and literally saves his life?
“The root of your error is that you think that the money you give the poor is a gift from your resources, but in truth this is not so. We find in many sources that the money that the wealthy man gives the poor is actually the poor man’s which has been deposited with him for the express purpose of returning it to the poor person. One who gives the deposit back is blessed, but someone who refrains from donating to a worthy cause when he can well afford it is nothing less than a thief. If, besides giving a donation, a person also speaks kindly to the poor man he is afforded extra blessings since in this manner he gives the poor man from his own. He has gone beyond merely returning the poor man’s property that has been entrusted with him from on high!”

Say Tehilim or Learn Torah?

A certain merchant from Metz would earn his living by selling furs, primarily at the seasonal market fair in Vilna. Everyday this merchant, who knew how to learn a little, would finish selling for the day and go the beis midrash of the Vilna Gaon and say Tehillim.
The Gaon noticed that he was no ignoramus and was a bit perplexed as to why he said Tehillim instead of using his time to learn. He decided to ask him why.
The merchant replied, “I do this because of something I heard from our Rav in Metz, Rav Yonasan Eibeschitz, zt”l. He taught from our sages that Dovid Hamelech asked Hashem that Tehillim should be considered like learning the hardest areas of Torah. Surely we see from this the greatness of Tehilim since Hashem certainly did not refuse Dovid Hamelech.”
“But why do you think that Hashem would not refuse Dovid Hamelech?” countered the Gaon. “In Bava Basra 17 we find that the gemara entertains the possibility that Hashem did refuse Dovid a request. There we see that the gemara entertains the possibility that Dovid was one of the very few whom the worms could not overcome after death. One opinion cites Dovid’s prayer in Tehillim 16 where he pleads that his flesh be protected from worms. The other opinion disregards this proof out of hand since this was merely what Dovid asked for, not what he got. Please ask your Rav how he answers this question which seems to show clearly that a request of Dovid’s may not have been accepted?”
The next year, the merchant was back and sure enough he had an answer from Rav Yonasan. “My Rav said that that is not how he learned the gemara at all. The opinion that says that this was merely prayer does not mean that Dovid was not protected from the worms. He requested this in Tehillim and surely it was granted. This opinion merely posits that Dovid should not be included in the list of those who were protected because of their righteousness since Dovid was merely protected because of his prayers, not because he deserved it as a result of his personal purity. Similarly, no one would really believe that Dovid requested something from Hashem which he did not receive without a clear proof that he was not answered. Since we see no indication that Dovid was not answered you may definitely continue to say Tehillim in the beis midrash, and have it considered Torah study.”

The Bitter Medicine

Rav Rafael of Bershad, zt”l, explained that when a person slips up or makes an error in davening or is embarrassed, he should not allow himself to be vexed by this in the slightest. “This is just like a person who is sick and requires a bitter medicine to heal him. Although he would prefer to avoid taking the medication altogether, if he is sick he will take it and thank the doctor for administering it.
“Similarly, Hashem arranges for a person to err when he falls into arrogance. In order to rectify this, a person is made to stumble and this naturally makes him feel very small. Although such failings are a direct result of Hashem’s mercy upon us, we are better off searching for a simpler anti-dote to our hubris so we will not be required to endure such embarrassing moments. If a person yearns to attain humility with his entire heart, Hashem will help him attain it.
“But when we fail we must never give in to feelings of depression which distance us from Hashem. Rav Pinchas of Koretz, zt”l, once encouraged me on just this point with the words, ‘Just don’t be afraid.’
“I always understood this to mean that a person should never allow anything to depress or frighten him. Instead one should thank Hashem for the difficulty, saying, ‘Master of the world. You have sent this trouble so I should attain humility and be healed spiritually, and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Please protect me from stumbling in this manner in the future. Instead, protect me from the defilement of arrogance by awakening a desire within me to attain a truly humble spirit, so there is no longer any need to cause me to stumble and fall in the future.’”
When someone asked Rav Rafael for advice to help him conquer his ego, Rav Rafael answered, “Hashem created a person so that he would spend his entire life searching for ways to be saved from pride!”

Either Spiritual or Material

Our sages teach: “If it weren’t for the sound of the sun in motion, we could hear the clamor of the throngs of Rome. And if it weren’t for the clamor of the hordes of Rome, we could hear the sound of wheel of the sun.” The Afikei Yam zt”l explains that the noise of the sun is the consciousness that time flies past us so quickly, and the present is just a transient moment without substance. It is this awareness of the limited nature of our lives in this world that brings the wise to fear heaven, and fills them with the fortitude to serve Hashem in purity before the opportunity slips away. The antithesis of this is the clamor of Rome that represents the vapid pleasure of the material world and the complacency of the wicked. These two sounds are mutually exclusive; the worldly “static” blocks out the voice of conscience and the exhortation of our evanescence, but when we recall the finite nature of the material world it loses its allure.
This can be understood with one of Rebbe Nachman’s parables: The evil within,יצר הרע is like a practical joker who races through a crowd showing off a clenched fist. He approaches first one person and then another, taunting, “Wouldn’t you like to know what I have in my hand?” Everyone he meets imagines that the clenched fist contains his heart’s desire. They all chase after him with abandon… They finally catch up with him, but when this joker opens his hand, he laughs at the consternation of his victim. His hand is completely empty!
When time runs out, the “joker” has no need to hide the truth any longer—that what he has to offer, the temptations he presents, are just illusions. We either hear the sound of the sun, or the sound of the hordes of Rome—we cannot listen to both at the same time!

Generous or Miserly?

Rav Shalom Shwardron once gave a very inspiring lesson regarding true generosity. “Many businessmen are truly kindly and run after opportunities to give tzedakah, but when it comes to business they will not give up even one penny. Why? Because of a ‘bad eye’—a grasping tendency.”
“Why can’t these baalei tzedakah surrender an extra few cents to someone in business dealings? The difference is clear. In tzedakah, I am the giver. But in business, someone is taking. How can I give in and allow him to profit? I don’t really care, but why should I allow him to get ahead?”
Rav Shalom continued, “I once heard from Rav Meir Chodosh, zt”l, a very relevant lesson from Bava Basra 15. The gemara brings a verse in which we find that among other things, Iyov is referred to as ‘one who turns from evil.’ Rav Abba bar Shmuel explains that he is called this because he was able to let go when it came to money.
“For example, it was normal for one who owed a worker half a perutah to purchase an inexpensive loaf of bread and give half to the worker and take half. But Iyov would give the entire perutah to the worker since it was despicable in his eyes to be so grasping regarding such an insignificant amount of money.
Rav Shalom continued, “How does such a seemingly insignificant monetary gift reveal that Iyov ‘turned from evil?’ The answer is clear. One who avoids evil does not have a bad eye. He is not pained when his friend profits even at his own expense. How can one know where he is holding in this area? From the little things that will be unnoticed. We all know that people often say, ‘I can surrender on any matter but business is business.’
“Rav Meir brought a story to illustrate. A certain woman was very careful to give generously to tzedakah, even going to much trouble so that yeshiva students should eat at her house at no charge. One time a certain student used a bit more water than necessary to wash his hands. The woman began to scream, ‘Kloiznikim! Good-for-nothings! These people are not careful to conserve water!’
“This is a classic case of petty miserliness. If I give, that it fine, but if someone takes even a little unexpectedly, I am willing to heap insult and shame on his head!”

Spirit of the Law, Chapter 72:23

23) One should check through his garments Erev Shabbos to ensure that he did not inadvertently leave something muktzeh, forbidden on Shabbos, in his pockets.

The Mekor Chaim explains that Erev Shabbos can refer to the time before one leaves the physical world since Shabbos is likened to the next world. In this context our halacha teaches that one should do a careful moral inventory a day before he dies.

This accounting must include every limb, like that of Chizkiyahu Hamelech who said to Hashem, “I have looked over every limb and have not found any with which I have angered You.” This is our mitzvah the day before we leave the world.

Our sages teach us that one should always carefully check his deeds, y'mashmesh b’maasav. They use this same language when discussing searching through one’s pockets before Shabbos—y’mashmesh—to teach the connection between the two.

But as Rabbi Eliezer teaches, since we do not know what day we will leave the world, we should be involved in teshuvah every day. This is especially true regarding the day before Shabbos, since we are expected to bear witness that Hashem created the world. How can we be considered a proper witness when our actions during the week seem to declare the opposite of our testimony, chas v’shalom?

Even if one finds that he has blemished with every limb he must never give up since “Hashem is not a tyrant.” Rav Nosson of Breslov teaches regarding this: even a person who has violated the entire Torah eight hundred times can still do teshuvah and rectify everything. Yet, we must at least make a special effort to repent before we declare Hashem the Creator on this holy day.

We must do our utmost to cast away any behavior or “baggage” which we would not want to have with us in the next world.

Spirit of the Law, Chapter 72:22

22) Near sunset one should gently tell the member’s of his household to light the Shabbos candles.

The source for this is the Mishnah which tells us to ask our household before Shabbos, isartem, if they tithed, eiravtem, and dealt with the eiruv. Then we are to remind them to light the candles.

The Komarna Rebbe explains that each person needs these two essential elements in order to merit the light of Shabbos in his soul.

First isartem. This means to imbue ourselves with G-dliness through a deep abiding faith in Hashem. On this level one truly feels that with every step he is with Hashem at all times. Clearly there are many levels to this emunah. One who works on attaining this will eventually be so filled with emunah that he will have imbued emunah in his ten essential strengths which represent the ten Sefiros. In this way he fulfills isartem, which can be explained as “have brought G-dliness into the ten.” To explain in simple terms this means that every pore of one’s being is filled with the joyous knowledge of Hashem.

The first step towards attaining this level is that one must truly yearn with his soul to truly serve Hashem. This leads him to use his wisdom, discernment, and understanding to understand how to remain with Hashem at all times. Through this feeling of imminence all of one’s natural tendencies towards kindness, and alacrity, are revealed as love and balanced fear of Hashem. Everyone who sees him is filled with a feeling of Hashem’s great magnificence and is influenced for the better. This combination of love and fear brings one the beauty of true dveykus and a true connection to the Torah. He will praise Hashem at all times and work to find the best method to declare Hashem’s kingship in the world with his every act.

But it is possible to explain this in a different manner. We can say that we must all tithe ourselves spiritually. Just as tithing literally means taking a tenth, thereby elevating the remaining produce and permitting it to be eaten, one elevates every experience through focus on declaring Hashem’s kingship. This level of Malchus is the entry point to every true level of divine service as the Tikunei Zohar explains. As Rebbe Nachman explains, the best way to imbue divinity in the mundane is to focus on the G-dly aspect of his endeavor. For example, when a person works for a living he should focus on the charity he will give from his salary and that he will be doing the great mitzvah of supporting his family, etc., through the money. In this manner one’s every instant is elevated to Hashem.

Either way, the Komarna explains that this element alone is not enough since one must also be among people, leading them to improve themselves by his example and helping them in any way he can. This is the second important essential, since the world eiruv literally means to mix, since the point of an eiruv is to make different rabbinical domains as one.

Through both of these steps “the candle will be lit,” one will be filled with the powerful light of Shabbos.

Spirit of the Law chapter 72:21

21) [Discusses proper way to do hatmanah, cover something in a davar hamosif hevel, material that increases the natural heat of the cooked object. The most prevalent example of this in our times is covering a pot that is on the stove from before Shabbos. It may not be covered completely on all sides. Instead one must leave one side exposed. This side should be covered with a board or the like which will ensure that there is space between any other covering and the pot on the fire. One then covers this board with old clothes which keep in the warmth.]
The Mekor Chaim explains that something which increases heat refers to lashon hara which makes a person feel “under fire,” filling his heart with feelings of resentment and anger. Although it is absolutely forbidden to listen to lashon hara unnecessarily, there are times, when this is permitted. For example, when one listens in order to protect himself or his fellow man from harm.
But, even if this is truly the reason why one allows himself to be exposed to what usually increases fire, he must be very vigilant that this merely galvanizes him to act as if this is true to ensure that he or his friend are not damaged by a potential fraud and the like. But we are not permitted to allow the natural heat to touch us “on all sides,” that is to believe the lashon hara, absolutely. We must separate ourselves from what we are being told.
But of course it is human nature to either get riled up about what we are told, and deal with it, or to apathetically disbelieve it entirely. How are we to act on what we are told, and yet not hate the person spoken about? The way to do this is to separate ourselves from being enticed to hate the other party, while at the same time believing what we are told just enough to suspect the possibly guilty party and act in a protective way.
We do this by separating ourselves from the lashon hara with a board, which we cover with clothes. In our context this alludes to reframing what the person allegedly did, until we understand that there are many ways to see how he is not really responsible for his actions. Perhaps he does not understand or he is in great pain and can hardly control his impulses. In this manner his actions are seen in a very different light, since one has placed him in different spiritual garments even if he actually did the forbidden deed.
But we can only do this through living the Mishnah: “Do not judge your friend until you have come to his place.” Rebbe Nachman of Breslov explains that since no mortal can ever really be entirely in another’s place, this Mishnah teaches us never to stand in judgment on the actions of another person. Even if we see the bad actions we must never condemn another person absolutely.
Only Hashem can truly know who is really responsible for his actions and can determine what are the proper measures to deal with such a person.

When is it Forbidden to Borrow?

The Sefer Chassidim records an interesting story of a certain wicked person in relation to the verse: “לוה רשע ולא ישלם”—“A wicked man borrows and does not repay.”
A certain person was destitute and needed money for expenses. Of course he could have asked for charity like most indigents but he shied away from this drastic step. “How can I take money from public funds and deprive a poor family?” he reasoned.
But the bills needed to be paid. Finally, when he really had no choice, he borrowed a large sum to cover his most basic expenses. He reasoned that this was better than taking charity since he was certainly not depriving those who could not afford to give. In any event, he was comfortable borrowing so this is what he did.
Day by day his loans mounted and when anyone would request money from him he would explain that he could not pay. After all, sometimes people borrow in good faith but then find themselves unable to repay the debt as planned. In this man’s case, it eventually became clear to all that he was borrowing with no real plan to pay any of it back—unless Hashem sent him a windfall, which he felt certain would definitely come one day. In that case, he would repay all of his outstanding loans and everyone would be happy with him.
But strangely, this man continued to request loans from unsuspecting prospects even though he had not yet returned a penny of his many prior debts and still had no means to repay any of the loans. When people noticed his strange behavior they confronted him. “How can you possibly borrow when you have not yet repaid such a fortune of money? Aren’t you ashamed to borrow money in such bad faith? Why not take what you can from tzedakah if you are qualified to receive it?”
But this man was unperturbed. “Is it better for me to take tzedakah and rob a poor man who has no way to support his family? This way, I take from those who don’t need the money as much and everyone is happy. And I do hope to repay the loans someday with Hashem’s help...”
The Sefer Chassidim comments: “This man is very wicked since not only does he make a tremendous chilul Hashem, he also causes people to refrain from lending other indigents who would repay their loans, making their lives much harder!”

Another Way

One of the most vocal proponents of the need for “shemiras einayim” in recent times was Rav Eliyahu Lopian, zt”l. Once, a certain young man wished to travel a long distance from the yeshiva for a wedding. Since he was learning in Kfar Chassidim, he required permission to travel from the mashgiach, the venerable Rav Eliyahu Lopian. But when he requested permission, he was surprised that Rav Lopian did not look on this favorably.
“Aren’t you afraid that you will see what is unseemly and spiritually damaging?” he asked.
“Not really,” the young man replied. “I have never found that seeing such things have any real effect on me.”
The mashgiach then made what seemed to be a very strange request. “May I have your mother’s name please?”
The bochur was flummoxed, “But why?”
The mashgiach clearly pitied the young man when he said, “I am eighty years old and I tell you truly that even walking a little bit in the street effects me adversely, and you, a young man in the prime of life, feel nothing? Obviously you are sick, so I need your mother’s name to daven for your complete recovery!”
On another occasion, when Rav Lopian was still living in Yerushalayim, a group arrived exactly on time for a va’ad and joyously shared with the mashgiach that they had cut through the Machaneh Yehudah market in order to make it on time.
To their dismay, the mashgiach was not pleased with this discovery, since it is virtually impossible to avoid seeing the unseemly in such a crowded area. “How could you have possibly cut through the shuk?” he thundered. “The Rashbam says clearly that if there is another way, one who takes the shorter path paved with pritzus is wicked even if he closes his eyes and sees nothing since he should have distanced himself from potential sin, not drawn it nearer to him. The gemara tells us that we must distance ourselves from what is unseemly!”

Hidden Treasures

A certain nobleman once asked a great tzaddik about the stories recounted by Rabba bar Bar Chana in the fifth chapter of Bava Basra. “How can such obvious exaggerations possibly teach anything meaningful?”
The tzaddik replied, “I will explain this with a parable. Once there was a wise king who was elderly and had only one young son. When the king saw that his days were coming to an end he worried about his child. The kingdom had vast treasuries and he fretted that his child would squander this wealth before he matured enough to understand how to use it properly.
“The wise king conceived of a plan to prevent such a disaster. He sent for artisans to make a magnificent picture of a lion in a certain part of the palace. But, strangely, the lion’s foot pointed towards a certain place in a very unnatural manner. This stood out, since the rest of the lion was completely life-like in every way. He had other similar works of art spread around the area of the palace where the prince would be.
“The purpose of this oddity was for his son to eventually notice it and wonder about it. When the boy matured he would understand that these anomalies must surely have a purpose, since the rest was done to perfection. He would eventually realize that these unnatural limbs point to something and search. In that very direction the old king cleverly placed a hidden cache of priceless jewels for his son to find when he was ready. In this manner his son would not squander the bulk of the treasure of the realm since he would only come into it when his wisdom was truly developed.
“The same is true for the deep teachings of the aggadata, of which the Rabba bar Bar Chana stories are an example,” concluded the tzaddik. “One who learns gemara sees the magnificent logic and depth of the Talmud and cannot understand how these strange sayings and stories are freely placed in the midst of the deepest sugyos. And for a while every student remains puzzled.
“But when the serious student matures, he realizes that these stories must have a deeper meaning and he begins to search for it. When he is worthy he finally recognizes that these stories hide the deepest secrets of Torah which only a truly mature person can appreciate and properly utilize.”

The Halachic Process

Rav Wolbe, zt”l, once explained why absolute honesty must be attributed to the true chachamim of each generation. “Every Torah Jew must have absolute confidence in the great achronim of every generation. We must never suspect the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, or the Chazon Ish, zt”l, of falsehood even in worldly matters and certainly not in the all important area of halacha.
“When the Chofetz Chaim rules in a certain way it is as if he says this in the name of his teacher and his teacher’s teacher all the way back to Moshe on Sinai. Someone who doubts this, doubts the veracity of Hillel and Rabi Akiva as well since what is the real difference? Even this confused person must concede that if the halachic process of our greatest authorities is based on falsehood, perhaps the same is true regarding the earlier authorities, chas v’shalom!
“When Hashem sent prophets to warn powerful kings that they would fall and their kingdoms would be destroyed, they did so fearlessly despite the terrible dangers involved. The word of Hashem burned in their hearts and they foretold these events without the slightest change. Even though some suffered blows or even imprisonment for telling people what they did not wish to hear, they would not falsify or even hold back their prophecy.
“Like the prophets, the sages valiantly taught Torah whatever the consequences, since their only interest was to promulgate the truth. There can be no doubt that regardless of pressure or political considerations, the great sages of each generations remained true to the halacha which burned in their hearts. It is not for nothing that Chazal teach in Shabbos 138b, that ‘devar Hashem’ refers to both prophecy and halacha! ”

A Heavenly Advocate

A certain pious man had the practice of sequestering himself in a certain place to study Maseches Chagigah, and it was his way to review it over and over again. After he knew it well, he committed it to memory. Although the man was not learned in any other tractate, he spent all his days in the study of Chagigah until he had fully mastered it.
When the man passed away he was all alone in his home and no one knew of his demise. A strange woman soon arrived on the scene and stood over his body in a posture of grief. She raised her voice in a lament until all the townspeople gathered together to investigate her loud and mournful cries.
She called out to the people of the town, “Come, let us eulogize this man and bury him and honor his memory. Let us merit the life of the world to come! For this man honored me all his life long, and saved me from being abandoned and forgotten.”
Immediately, all of the women came to sit with her, and the town gathered and mourned him with great honor. The men provided shrouds and arranged his burial, and they honored him greatly at the funeral.
All the while, the mysterious woman cried and wailed and could not be consoled.
Finally, the people of the town asked her, “Who are you?”
She said to them, “Who am I? My name is Chagigah.”
As soon as the pious man was buried, the woman disappeared. All of the townspeople knew that they had been visited by Maseches Chagigah in the form of a woman, come to them to ensure the honorable burial of her devoted student. (Medrash Tanchumah HaYoshon, as brought in Menoras HaMaor, Ner 3, VIII:3:5)
The Chofetz Chayim, zt”l, would say: “Anyone who does a single mitzvah acquires a heavenly advocate. How much more is this so when a person studies a maseches so many times until he masters it and commits it to memory! Imagine to what extent it petitions on his behalf in the upper world to save him from Gehinnom and from all of the evil forces that pursue one’s soul. Imagine to what extent it uplifts him to attain all good, and to be bound eternally together with Hashem!”

Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, Chapter 72

# 20) "When one needs to open an oven that is sealed with mud on Shabbos, this should be done by a non-Jew. If a non-Jew is not available a minor should open the sealed oven. But if even a minor is not available a Jewish adult may open the oven door but he should do so with a change from the usual manner in which he would have opened the seal.

The Mekor Chaim explains that an oven represents a person’s heart and mind, the seat of his thoughts and emotions. Sometimes we feel as though we cannot seem to access our true selves or change our most important attitudes regarding important things. How can we possibly repent if our hearts seem blocked?

The best way to clear out the blockages of our hearts is to rejoice that one is a Jew. This is Hashem’s decision, which we should certainly appreciate. Who can possibly fathom the greatness of being a member of the chosen nation of Hashem? Rebbe Nachman of Breslov stressed the great importance of internalizing a feeling of gratitude to Hashem for making us a Jew. As we say during the uva l’tzion prayer, “Blessed is our G-d who has divided us from those who err and has given us the Torah of truth!”

One morning, the Chassidim noticed that the holy Chozeh of Lublin zy”a refrained from saying the blessing, “She’lo asani goy…” during the morning prayers. They were dumbfounded by this apparently inconsistent behavior, but didn’t have the nerve to ask the Chozeh for an explanation. After Shacharis, the Rebbe turned to his followers and said, “I’m sure that you are all wondering why I failed to say the brochah ‘she’lo asani goy’ this morning, and so I will tell you my secret. I already said it early this morning when I woke up.

“As soon as I awoke, I did my usual cheshbon hanefesh but I was dismayed to find myself without a single merit to my credit! I felt like the lowest of the low, the very worst person in the world. But, just then, I found a way to console myself. I said to myself, ‘I am still a Jew! I may not act the way I should, but I am still so blessed that I am not a goy!’ My heart overflowed with joy, and I immediately made the blessing right then and there!”

But what if a person is not yet able to connect to his inner gladness of being a Jew? In that case, he can still unplug his heart by starting again like a little child. Just begin again as the Breslover song goes, “What was was, the main thing is from now on!” Of course one must change what he did wrong, yet one of the best ways to connect to Hashem is by making a completely new start of it. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov said that one must sometimes make many new beginnings in the same day. Surely a person who feels stopped up must keep starting fresh until he breaks though to his heart.

And what if one cannot open his blocked heart even by starting again? In that case, he must make a meaningful change. First he should change his attitude which is blocking him from fulfilling the other two methods of unstopping his heart.

At the very least, he should learn an extra daf gemara or do extra mitzvos with the express purpose of drawing nearer to Hashem though these actions, as much as possible. Doing a little more spiritually with the simple desire to connect to Hashem is a very effective way to rid oneself of the over-sophistication which prevents him from feeling the joy of being Jewish and starting fresh from scratch.

The Bubble Bursts

Rav Shmuel Tefilinsky, zt”l, once told a story about a wealthy investor from outside of Israel. This man arrived in Israel with six thousand lirot with which to invest in real estate. Since the rents at that time were very high in Tel Aviv, this man decided that it would be worthwhile to borrow another six thousand and purchase a building for the astronomical price of twelve thousand lirot.
The man did so and for a time everything went well but not long after his big purchase there was a terrible depression and no one was able to pay the exorbitant rents they owed. Not surprisingly, real estate in general fell precipitously and the building which a short time before had been worth twelve thousand lirot was now only worth four thousand.
Of course, the bank did not really care about this wealthy man’s bad luck; they just wanted him to either make the payments on his loan or return the money that he had borrowed. They sold his building for four thousand and the miserable man was thrown in jail because he was unable to raise the remaining two thousand lirot that he owed.
Rav Tefilinsky commented, “If only this man had been happy to purchase a more modest building for six thousand, he would have had a building worth two thousand lirot during the hard times. And later, when real estate picked up again, its value would be restored to six thousand.
“This is a mussar haskel. Never borrow if one can avoid it!”

Spirit of the Law: Ben Ish Chai, Sukkos

1) A person is obligated to sleep under in the actual air space of the sukkah (i.e. under the sechach.) One who sleeps under a bed that is over ten tefachim high has not discharged his obligation...

Rav Nosson of Breslov explains that after Yom Kippur we flee the Amalek within by entering into the healing Sukkah which represents the ananei hakavod, clouds of glory. Just as the clouds of glory protected those within from Amalek, so too, the sukkah affords spiritual protection from Amalek which works assiduously to blunt one’s holy sensitivity. Since the easiest way to accomplish this blunting is when one is occupied with mundane matters, we lift up all our mundane pursuits by bringing them into the sukkah. In this manner we realize that it is in our hands to elevate every aspect of ourselves by remembering that Hashem is with us at all times and especially when we feel distant.[1]

But we must be careful to remain under the sechach. The Arizal teaches that the sechach should have spaces in between since it represents that Hashem sends down wondrous kindness into the mundane world.

We must internalize that Hashem is with us no matter what! Whatever place we have fallen to can be elevated. The moment we realize this, Hashem gives us tremendous loving kindness. In as much as a person is “under the sechach,” he remembers that Hahsem is with him, he draws down His providence and tremendous loving kindness even if this is not deserved—even if the one who truly realizes that everything is from Hashem is wicked as discussed in the Midrash.

But if one allows himself to be distracted from focusing on Hashem’s providence, he will be unable to access this kindness. Much like in the desert, he will be pushed out of the clouds of glory and vulnerable to Amalek.

Rav Nosson of Breslov explains that the main reason we have not been redeemed is because of our lack of encouragement, specifically when things are difficult.

But it is never too late to begin again! As Rebbe Nachman taught, in this world a person can make a huge profit with no real cost to himself at all. All he has to do is what he can, since every little drop of effort joins to form a big merit which helps one in his need, in this world and the next.



2) One must first build the walls of the Sukkah and only then put on the sechach...

The Mekor Chaim explains that one’s sukkah represents his portion in the next world, but it seems strange on the surface, that the sechach, the main element of the sukkah is primarily refuse. Rav Nosson of Breslov explains that we use refuse for the sechach, since this represents imbuing the joy of the next world into one’s experience in this world.[2] As Rebbe Nachman teaches this joy becomes so intense that one doesn’t feel any interest in attaining the next world, since his feeling in this world is so joyous that he only wants to be involved in another mitzvah.[3]

But of course such joy must be balanced and rooted in holiness, otherwise, most often one’s joy is a “strange fire,” as Rebbe Nachman teaches. First we need a basic structure of proper values and balanced connection. Only then can we experience the true joy of the next world in this world. First we build a structure, which represents fulfilling the mitzvos and avoiding transgressing the aveiros of the Torah. Only then will we be able to “put on the sechach,” in a genuine manner.

Yet even with a proper basis (or working towards attaining one if actually doing everything is as yet beyond one’s ability) the only way to attain the light of Sukkos is through joy, as the Beis Aharon of Karlin stresses. This explains why Sukkos is called, zeman simchaseinu, “Our joyous time.



3) The first [olive sized piece of bread] eaten in the Sukkah on the first night of Sukkos is a Torah obligation... [Note: the Mishna Berura learns from the Vilna Gaon that each additional morsel of bread eaten in the sukkah fulfills its own Torah obligation above and beyond the mitzvah fulfilled by merely sitting in the sukkah, similar to matza on Pesach.]

Rav Nosson of Breslov explains that the sukkah may not be a permanent structure since it represents the bare absolute truth. So many people fall away from closeness to Hashem because of their perception of the truth, since it appears to them that they are distant and bad. But the real truth is that this is a gross error, since Hashem is always near to anyone who calls to Him in truth as the verse states, “Hashem is close to all who call to Him in truth.”

Rebbe Nachman explains that this means anyone who calls to him from whatever level he may be on. It may appear to one that he is hopelessly mired in a spiritual quagmire and will never merit lasting change, because he experiences an aspect of the plague of darkness and can not see the many ways to find lasting improvement and change. But truly calling out to Hashem from whatever level one may be at brings down a powerful light and enables one to see the many exits out of the darkness.

Through calling to Hashem honestly from whatever level one is at one merits to dispel the darkness and he can truly see that Hashem is with him even when he is involved in mundane pursuits.[4] This explains why at least the first morsel eaten in the sukkah fulfills a Torah obligation: the entire object of Sukkah is to strive to sanctify all of our mundane pursuits, especially eating with holiness.



4) One makes Kiddush after nightfall...

The Mekor Chaim explains that we sit in the sukkah for seven days because each day represents another stage of ten years, which together make up the seventy most important years of one’s life, from birth until seventy, [the average life span in many places of the world.] One merits to sanctify these years, through the mitzvah of sukkah, just as one sanctifies the seven days of the week through Shabbos. This sanctification is drawn down through kiddush, the very name of which means "sanctify."

In order to draw down this great holiness, we make kiddush at the onset of this holy chag.[5]

5) [Discusses the various customs of when one should say the blessing leishev baSukkah]

The Beis Aharon of Karlin explains that regardless of when one says the brocha, the main thing is one’s heart, since the sukkah represents partaking of the feast Hashem will make for the tzadddikim in the sukkah fashioned from the skin of the Levyasan in times to come. Since the word, Levyasan means to accompany or connect this alludes that we merit this level through connecting to Hashem in one’s heart. This includes both the joy in one’s heart and prayer which are called service of the heart. Yet the main focus of one’s divine service should be on attaining joy, especially during this special time.


[1] Likutei Halachos, Shabbos, #7

[2] Likutei Halachos, Hilchos Chezkas Karka’os, #3

[3] Likutei Moharan, I:5

[4] Likutei Halachos, Hilchos Ribis #5

[5] Mekor Chaim, Sukkah

Stories for Sukkos--Your Arba Minim

During the time of Rav Moshe of Rozvadov, zt”l, arba minim were scarce and so many bochurim and children did not have the privilege of having their own for the mitzvah. While the Rebbe would do the na’anuim, adults who had already finished that round of using their arba minim would pass them around to those children who did not have.
Once, one of the children pushed forward to receive an esrog from an adult and disturbed the Rebbe. He paused during the na’anuim and looked at the child for a moment, after which he finished up the remaining motions perfunctorily, not in the deliberate way that was his wont.
Afterward the Rebbe wondered aloud, “Why don’t the parents make sure their children do not disturb the adults? The na’anuim are very powerful and should be said with the utmost intention. The children who can shake the lulav are obligated—but not at the expense of someone else’s kavanah!”
When Rav Yisroel of Ruzhin, zt”l, was a child he spent a Sukkos with Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, zt”l. As an impressionable young boy he saw how the Rav did the na’anuim with boundless love and joy. In his fervor, Rav Levi Yitzchak was all too liable to break his lulav unintentionally, and so he always had someone at the ready with another lulav to replace the one that had been shaken a little too enthusiastically.
After watching the proceedings, the young Yisroel held his arba minim close as he stood below the amud and remarked, “There is a person so full of love of Hashem that he breaks his lulav. Yet there is also a different type of person on whom you see nothing at all. Such a person is so full of awe in Hashem’s power that he hardly moves a muscle!”
The Mekor Chaim, zt”l, writes that lulav is a conjunction of two Hebrew words: לו לב, “he has a heart.” Who is like the lulav? The person who takes another Jew’s troubles to heart, who devotes his entire self to showing consideration for the other’s needs with the same sensitivity that he would appreciate if their roles were reversed.
Rav Meir Raful, zt”l, lived in the apartment right above the famous Rav Avraham Ades, zt”l, the great scholar of Aram Tzova-Haleb who later became the Rosh Yeshiva of the famous Rechovot HaNahar of the kabbalists in the Bucharim quarter of Jerusalem. Rav Raful once related the story of his aliyah to Jerusalem in the very difficult year of 1923:
“Work was scarce, money was hard to come by, and the barest necessities were difficult to secure. On many occasions, Rav Avraham would hire me to do a chore and pay me more than double the regular cost of the job. When I would protest such a lavish display of generosity, Rav Avraham would say, ‘The Torah teaches that we must love the convert. Those who have moved up to Jerusalem with such self-sacrifice are certainly included in this mitzvah.’
“This happened a number of times. One erev Sukkos, I was penniless and could not even afford vegetables for the holiday. I wandered through the streets seeing people buying various foods in honor of the coming yom tov and all I could do was cry. I felt invisible; no one even noticed my pain.
“Suddenly, the Rav passed by and called, ‘Meir, Meir! Come here!’
“I went over to him, and he said, ‘Come to my house. I want to work out how much I owe you.’
“I don’t understand,’ I said. ‘Not only do you not owe me a penny, but every time you’ve paid me, it was at least double the going rate!’
“The Rav nevertheless insisted that I come with him, saying that he must owe me something. When we got there, he handed me money over my loud objections. He then ushered me out of the house, instructing me to go and buy what I needed for yom tov. It was only twenty-five grush, but he lightened my heart so much that it felt like twenty-five coins of gold!”
The esrog represents a person’s heart. Our sages teach that the loss of the flesh of the esrog is only irredeemable when the hole pierces the fruit all the way through. As long as a person knows that his failings, his “holes,” do not penetrate to his essence, he will still be motivated to change his ways.
Once, just before Sukkos, Rav Yisroel of Ruzhin, zt”l, arrived at a certain town and all of the Jewish residents turned out to greet him. Among them was a certain “free-thinker” who was careless about mitzvah observance and liked to ridicule gedolim whenever he could.
Thinking that the arrival of the renowned Rebbe of Ruzhin would provide ideal material for leitzanus, he had decided to join the others. Just as he joined the crowd surrounding the Rebbe, Rav Yisroel began to tell a story:
“Once there was a great king who owned a very precious watch set with priceless gems. It kept perfect time, and it was always with him. One day, the king decided to travel and so he entrusted this prized possession to a favored nobleman. Before leaving, he warned the man: ‘Make sure to guard it with your life!’
“After the king set out, the nobleman just couldn’t resist. He took the watch out of its case and began to play around with it. Suddenly, it slipped from his hands, fell, and broke.”
The Rebbe then cried out, “Oy! The king’s watch! How can I return it to him this way?! What will the King say! How will I stand before Him!”
At this, the “free-thinker” fainted dead away!
Over his inert form, the Rebbe pronounced: “This man has fainted because he believes that his life, like the watch, cannot be repaired. But the truth is that this is what the straight-spined lulav comes to teach us: even though we’ve just passed through Yom Kippur and admitted our guilt for our many sins, we can still straighten ourselves out. We are not like the nobleman in the story! We can still repair all that we have destroyed!”
Rav Yissachar Dov of Belz, zt”l, was always careful to infuse all his interactions with other Jews with genuine love. He felt that the only effective way to reach out to estranged Jews and draw them back to Torah observance is through gentle and pleasant re-direction and education. However, one of the Belzer Rebbe’s most prominent chassidim was known to be a terrible kapdan, a harshly judgmental person.
One day, the Rebbe approached this chassid and tried to explain the error of his ways. “Abaye’s proof that the arba minim cannot include the lulav in its prickly kufra state is based on the verse, ‘The Torah’s ways are pleasant, and all her paths are peace.’ (Mishlei 3:17)”
The Rebbe explained, “This means that even the most beautiful lulav is disqualified if it pricks! Kal v’chomer that we should avoid jabbing at others in righteous indignation with painfully sharp words. Quite the contrary; the only way to achieve Hashem’s purpose is through gentle and loving persuasion.”
Sometimes, however, even gentle methods fail to bring positive results. Rav Naftali Amsterdam, zt”l, once asked his mentor, Rav Yisroel Salanter, zt”l, how to overcome the natural tendency to become frustrated when a wayward Jew refuses to accept moral correction.
Rav Yisroel answered, “Chazal said that the words of a person with fear of heaven are heard. This means that if the person offering gentle rebuke is being ignored, the one doing the talking must lack yiras shomayim. Why, then, should he be frustrated with his friend? Let the speaker instead direct his anger toward himself for lacking the requisite fear of heaven!”
Our sages teach that the willow of the arba minim must be of the arvei nachal with leaves that are elongated like a river, and not rounded like those of the tzaftz’fa that grows in the hills. The Kedushas Tzion of Bobov, zt”l quotes the medrash that the willow represents a Jew who lacks Torah and mitzvos who achieves atonement by binding himself together with others more worthy than himself. But, he says, this can only be effective if the less worthy Jew is not a tzaftz’fa, a grandiose person who places himself “in the hills” above others and “shoots his mouth off” (m’tzaftzef b’peh). The only way to deal with such a willow is by separating it from the other species and “putting it in its place,” lest it have a negative influence on the other three.
Once, a certain maskil from Minsk came to visit with the Beis HaLevi, zt”l, together with a large group of prominent Jews. During the course of a conversation about new Torah works, the man very self-assuredly turned to the renowned gadol and said, “One would think that a gaon of your stature would publish innovative leniencies, since you certainly have the knowledge and authority that demands.”
In a booming voice, the Beis HaLevi declared, “Absolutely right. And I’ve even published quite a few heteirim.”
Fairly bursting with pride from having secured the Beis HaLevi’s regard, and hoping to hear a few piskei halachah that would suit his ideology, the visitor urged his host to name a few.
Much to the delight of his listeners, the Beis HaLevi intoned in a voice laced with irony, “Some are machmir that only great scholars should wear tefillin d’Rabbeinu Tam, but I am lenient and permit them universally…While some are machmir and forbid Torah study when erev Tisha B’Av falls out on Shabbos, I permit it. Although some are machmir and prohibit fasting on Rosh Hashanah, I am lenient and allow that too.” By this point, the other people in the room could barely restrain their laughter.
The Beis HaLevi then delivered his makeh b’patish: “And even though some are machmir and forbid observing two days of Yom Kippur because of sfeika d’yuma, I am lenient and permit it!”
When our sages list the features which distinguish the kosher arava from the invalid tzaftz’fa, we find that one of these traits is color. While the true arava has a red stem, the tzaftz’fa has a stem that is white. Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, explains that since the willow represents a person devoid of Torah and mitzvos, the redness of its stem symbolizes one of his main redeeming qualities: an honest awareness of the impropriety of his ways. In that sense, the “redness” of sin is actually a positive sign, since it proves that at least the person knows the difference between right and wrong. The tzaftz’fa, on the other hand, represents a person who lives in denial. All the bad he does, and all the good that he fails to do, is all “white” as far as he is concerned. Such a person is very far from repentance and repair.
Once, one of the followers of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, zt”l, asked whether trying to cover up one’s sins isn’t really a kind of hypocrisy. He received an interesting response:
“There is a common saying, ‘If a person is going to eat a davar acher, he should at least let the grease run freely down his beard.’ They mean, why should he add hypocrisy to his sins? But I say, ‘If a person is going to do such a thing, he should at the very least wipe the grease off of his beard! Let him show a little shame!”
An Israeli baal teshuvah was once asked what had inspired him to turn away from the lifestyle of the Shomer HaTzair kibbutz on which he was raised. He said, “I heard Rebbe Nachman’s saying about ‘wiping the grease off of one’s beard’ and took it to heart. I didn’t stop sinning right away, but I did stop flaunting my sins. And it ultimately changed my life completely!”

The Ashes of Humility

Our sages teach that ashes formed on Erev Yom Tov are considered “prepared” ahead of time. They may therefore be used for the mitzvah of kisui hadam, covering a slaughtered animal’s blood, on Yom Tov itself. The Biala Rebbe, zt”l, would explain this metaphorically: “Why are the ashes considered already ‘prepared’—because the most important preparation for prayer is to be completely humble, to see oneself like dust of the earth and ashes.” As Avraham Avinu said as he beseeched Hashem, “…and I am merely dust and ashes.” (Bereishis 18:27)
Rav Raphael of Barshad, zt”l, a disciple of Rav Pinchas of Koretz, zt”l, would always spend many hours preparing for Kol Nidrei on Erev Yom Kippur. Only after an extended period of intense learning and soul searching would the Rav go to the mikveh. After immersing, he would prepare himself to daven Minchah and eat the seudas hamafsekes. After the meal, he would sit again to learn and prepare himself for the tefillah zakah. During the course of his long day of preparing for Yom Kippur, the Rav was careful not to waste a single moment of precious time.
One year, just as Rav Rafael left the mikveh, he was approached by a man who clearly wanted to speak. Unfortunately, this person had all sorts of nonsense on his mind and occupied a great deal of the Rav’s time with what was essentially an extended monologue without any real substance. It was literally impossible for the Rav to tear himself away without insulting this other person, and since he had no choice he remained standing outside the mikveh while the priceless minutes ticked by.
After the gentleman left, the Rav said to himself: “The Ramban writes in his famous letter that we can attain humility by accustoming ourselves to speak all of our words gently to everyone, all the time. Clearly, this even means someone who is wasting our time talking about nonsense while we are leaving the mikveh on Erev Yom Kippur!”

Spirit of the Law: Elul: Chapter 128: #1-9

1) The days of Elul are days of days of spiritual favor…

We all wish to take advantage of these most holy days of Elul, but how?

The Chidushei Harim and the Bas Ayis, explain that the Hebrew word, Elul makes up two words, לא לו which means not and for him. The message here is the more one is nullified to Hashem, the more he is able to take in G-dliness and connect himself heart and soul to Hashem. But, sometimes, this takes a pure hearted reminder.

Rav Moshe of Kobrin recounted: once when I was a child I was playing with other children my age when my eldest sister, who was the first born in our family, said something that was to have a profound effect upon me until this very day. “Are you going to play with your friends even today? Don’t you know that today it is already Elul and even the fish in the sea tremble out of fear of the upcoming Day of Judgment?”

She said this in such with such palpable fear and love of Hashem, that I was immediately filled with trembling for several hours. And I have never forgotten this warning.”

In this vein we find that the Chazon Ish would say that yiras Shamayim cannot be learned from a book alone. Like a candle that must be lit from another flame, one must receive yiras Shamayim from someone who already has it.”

But it is never too late to start again!

2) The custom is to blow the shofar during this month...

The Chidushei Harim, zt”l, explains that we blow shofar during Elul as a kind of drill for the real thing, on Rosh Hashanah. It is only by preparing during this month by allowing the daily shofar blasts to slowly enter our heart, that we will feel a powerful inner movement to teshuvah when the shofar is blown on Rosh Hashanah.[1]

Rav Yisachar Dov of Belz, zt”l, explained differently. On Rosh Hashanah we are so filled with dread that it is only on account of having blown the shofar in the course of the month of Elul that we can possibly fulfill this holy mitzvah on Rosh Hashanah. [Of course this fear must be balanced and must bring one to a feeling a great alacrity and care not to lose the great spiritual opportunities of these days, upon which our entire year is hinged.

3) It is the custom of Anshei Ma’aseh, people who embody the spirit of holy action, to check their mezuzos and tefilin, during this month...

Although this is an excellent practice, it should never cause us to forget about the essentials. First and foremost we must rectify ourselves by repenting our sins and improving our character.

Sadly, some people are not anshei maaseh at all but they use practices such as checking their mezuzos etc, since they prefer to focus on such things, then to even acknowledge their painful character defects. For someone who does not consider the results of his actions, there is truly no limit to the irreparable damage he can cause.

Rav Wolbe, zt”l, recounted that when he was in Mir he stayed with a certain baal habayis for quite a while. When Elul came around, this man re-inspected all of his mezuzos and tefillin to ensure that they were 100% mehudar. When the young Rav Wolbe saw this he was frankly jealous of the man’s scrupulous attention to mitzvos.

One day, when the lady of the house returned home, she confessed to her husband that she had paid quite a bit extra for vegetables in the market. Disregarding the young scholar’s presence, the man became livid and embarked on a tirade which lasted an hour. His beleaguered wife was terribly distressed by his outburst, and soon complained of a headache. She excused herself and went to lie down. A short time later, the poor woman died. Hashem Yishmor!

Years later, Rav Wolbe was known to comment on this tragedy, “For an extra twenty cents spent on tomatoes this man indulged his terrible temper and killed his own wife, Rachmanah litzlan! Even with all of his attention to mitzvos, the fact that it was Elul didn’t mitigate his bad middos in any way at all!”

4) During the seven weeks from after Tisha B’Av until Rosh Hashanah we read a different haftorah of comfort...

Even if Rosh Chodesh Elul falls on a Sunday we do not recite the usual haftorah of machar chodesh, which is recited when Shabbos is the day before Rosh Chodesh, since it does not discuss the comfort of Jerusalem...

During Tisha B’Av we confronted the negative within which each of us which prevents the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash. But our great focus on the negative could bring to feelings of despair. For this reason we are so careful to specifically recite the seven haftoros of comfort. We each have to understand that eventually every Yerushalayim will be rebuilt and we will merit true teshuvah. As Rebbe Nachman cried out, “there is no despair at all.”

Rav Tzaddok Hakohain of Lublin explains that the seven weeks of comfort correspond to the seven lower Sefiros[2] which correspond to the emotional drives in every person: joy and expansiveness, fear, pride, the will to prevail and the desire to show off one’s attainments. But of course, each of these can be used to serve Hashem. One can serve Hashem with love and fear. He can feel proud to be a Jew and give Hashem pride as it were. He can work hard to be victorious over the evil within and feel grateful to Hashem for his spiritual attainments.

Through the holiness of each Shabbos we build another one of these drives and are enabled to clarify them and use them to serve Hashem.[3]

5) We begin Selichos from Sunday...

Most people begin to say selichos, either after midnight on motzei Shabbos or early Sunday morning.

Rav Yissachar Dov of Belz, zt”l, explains that we start to say selichos after Shabbos, even if it means almost a week more than the four days minimum, because we want to begin to say the selichos while the light of Shabbos still shines upon us.

We can also explain that the Zohar writes that one cannot feel holiness without preparation. What better way to find time to prepare to begin the selichos, then to have a full day of spiritual pursuits to focus on this mitzvah.

6) ...One should at least stand while reciting Kel Melech yoshev and the thirteen attributes of mercy...

Rav Nosson of Breslov explains[4] that when one says the thirteen attributes of mercy, he should especially focus on Hashem’s kindness, in that he judges us favorably even though we have sinned. This is the deeper meaning of notzer chessed l’alafim, which literally means that Hashem rewards for good deeds until a thousand generations. Rav Nosson explains that Hashem guards the little bit of good a person has done and uses this to sweeten even thousands of accusers. Of course he must repent the evil he has perpetrated but Hashem waits for him to do so.

This is the meaning of the rest of the sentence, nosay avon vafesha v’chata’a v’nakey. He carries sin, blemish and iniquity and cleanses it. This means in our context that Hashem supports the evil offspring of the sins, and waits for one to do teshuvah.[5]

7) One should choose the most worthy person to act as the prayer leader for Selichos and the high holy days...

These prayers are so powerful and important that we should be very careful to find the best person to represent us.

Yet the Baal Shem Tov said, that if one knows that his prayer leader is not worthy, he should make efforts to pray with as much concentration as he can muster and rely on Hashem. Although it is certainly fitting to daven in a place where the prayer leader is worthy, one should not worry overly much if his leader is unworthy. As always, he should just do what he can and hope to Hashem.

8) A mourner should not be the prayer leader if there is another as worthy as he is...

The cantor in the Maharil Diskin’s shul, died shortly before the month of Elul leaving a widow and children. Strangely when the gabayim approached the Rav to discuss finding a new cantor, he put them off and would not discuss this. Since they knew that their Rav had certainly thought it through before reacting in this manner, they let this issue slide.

When the first day of Rosh Hashanah arrived they asked the Rav who he had in mind to daven. To their great surprise he replied that the deceased cantor’s son should daven.

After the services they asked the Rav how he had ruled against the Shulchan Aruch which states clearly that a mourner may not be a cantor when there is another as worthy. “After all, there are many people as worthy as he is, who could have served as cantor.”

But the Rav disagreed. “Think of the widow of our old cantor. She is surely feeling her loss very keenly just now. How would she feel if instead of hearing her husband’s davening as she has been accustomed to do for all these years, she heard a stranger daven. Surely this would have caused her untold grief. The only replacement which would not pain her is her own son. Surely this is also a case where there is no one else who is as worthy as the son!”

9) Someone who says selichos without a minyan may not recite the thirteen attributes of mercy...

Rav Nosson explains that the thirteen attributes of mercy give a person a balanced understanding of true mercy, through which he learns when to act with audacity and when not to.[6] This is a degree of tremendous understanding, which can only be attained through carefully examining one’s motives over and over again. One must have holy brazenness but only when this is appropriate. It is for this reason that we recite this prayer many times.

This is also why one who has no minyan may not recite this prayer since it is only in through connecting to a “Jewish community” of at least nine other Jews that one can access this level of mercy and learn holy audacity. As our sages say, Hashem does not despise the prayer of the many.



[1] מובא בנאות דשא

[2] פרי צדיק

[3] This explanation of the Sefiros is from תנאי הנפש להשגת החסידות, translated as “Visions of a Compassionate World.”

[4] ליקוטי הלכות, הלכות השכמת הבוקר, א, ג

[5] This is based on the Ramak in Tomer Devorah as well

[6] ליקוטי הלכות, הלכות מתנה, ה', ה'

Shiduch Question

A certain bochur got to be of marriageable age and met a girl that he wished to marry but was suddenly plunged into a quandary since he had an older sister. Someone pointed out to him that this was not right. After all, even Lavan says that one should not marry off the younger before the older. Perhaps he was halachically obligated to wait until his sister found her match. After all, how could he cause his sister such intense pain?
Although this young man clearly was obligated to get married, perhaps he was also obligated to wait? But his sister was three years older than he and she had not yet met her match. Even if he was supposed to wait, there surely had to be some kind of boundary of precisely how long one is obligated to wait.
The young man decided to ask the Chazon Ish, zt”l, for guidance in this matter. The Chazon Ish answered, “You can definitely go ahead with your wedding and you need not wait for your sister at all. As for the pain this will cause your sister, we see from Bava Basra 16 that this is permitted, since you mean l’shem Shamayim, just a we find that Peninah caused her sister Chanah pain l’shem shamayim, so that she should daven with her whole heart to have children...”
Rav Tzvi Yavrov, shlit”a, asked Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlit”a, the obvious question on this story. “But we find there that Peninah was punished for tormenting Chanah; so how did the Chazon Ish prove anything from their case?”
“You are mistaken,” Rav Chaim explained. “The reason why Peninah was punished was for the manner in which she inflicted the pain. This is hardly relevant in our situation.”

Bilvavi Author Speaking Schedule Now Available

Rav Itamar Shwartz, the author of the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh seforim will be coming in on Sunday for a speaking tour. He will be in Lakewood, Boro Park, Flatbush, Monsey, and Toronto. He will also be available for private appointments on Labor Day, September 7th in Woodmere, NY. In addition, there is a one day seminar with Rav Shwartz on Labor Day in Woodmere. All of the information is available here:

http://dixieyid.blogspot.com/2009/09/bilvavi-mishkan-evneh-author-speaking.html

Please publicize this information so that this information can be widely distributed.

Thanks!

When Things Do Not Go According to Plan

A certain man had good cause to rejoice: his wife had given birth to a baby boy. He arranged everything for the bris which would take place on the eighth day and even traveled to nearby Lublin to invite the Chozeh of Lublin, zt”l, to be the sandek. The Chozeh graciously agreed, and everything was set.

On the day of the bris which was called for early afternoon, the family and friends slowly gathered in the appointed place to wait for the great event. Unfortunately, when the time came, the Chozeh had not yet arrived. Since the father really yearned for the Chozeh to be the sandek, he decided to wait.

When, after an hour, there was still no sign of the Chozeh, the family began to get worried. It was a winter day and the sun would set early. After another short while of anxious waiting, they finally decided to do the bris without the Chozeh.

Just as they were about to wash for the seudah a little over a quarter of an hour before sunset, the Chozeh finally arrived. The family requested his presence at the seudah and sat him at the head of the table. During the seudah, they noticed something very strange. It seemed that the Chozeh was much more joyous then he appeared during a bris when he had actually been the sandek. This infectious happiness lifted up the mood of the all of the attendees, and they expressed their happiness with enthusiastic singing and Torah.

After the bris, someone asked the Chozeh why he was so joyous—he had not even attended the actual bris.

He answered, “I am so happy because, in a way, not having made it to be the sandek is better than being sandek. Since the custom is to only choose a truly great person to be sandek, one who is blessed with this distinction must fight thoughts of arrogance which can impinge his joy. However, if one planned to do a mitzvah and was prevented against his will, Hashem views this as if he had done the mitzvah anyway.

The Chozeh concluded, “Surely no hubris can be felt by someone who missed doing the mitzvah! Yet Hashem views it as if it was done. This means Hashem views it as if he had done it with perfect connection and focus. It is as if I have merited to do a mitzvah with completion and humility—shouldn’t I be filled with ecstasy and joy?”

Nothing Personal

Rav Shach, zt”l, once related: “It’s interesting to note that the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, only brings a contemporary Gadol in his Mishnah Berurah a single time. In hilchos Rosh HaShanah, he writes that it is correct to blow the shofar out of the right side of one’s mouth. In the Biur Halachah, he cites Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk, zt”l, who refers to Rosh HaShanah 34 to provide an explanation. There, we extrapolate some halachos of the shofar from the laws of chatzosros. He adds that since the verse says clearly that when they blew the chatzosros milchamah during Gidon’s war, they held the torches in their left hands and their shofaros in their right, we see that they blew from the right side.”

Rav Shach continued, “The truth is that the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, did not bring a halachah from a contemporary Gadol, only a reason for a custom. But it remains curious why he cites the Ohr Someach and no one else? My theory was always that it had to do with a certain argument that existed between the two Torah giants. The Chofetz Chaim held that even if the government threatens to shut down a yeshiva, it must refuse to incorporate secular studies into its schedule. The Ohr Someach, on the other hand, held that it is more important for the yeshivos to stay open, and they should therefore teach the secular subjects. The Chofetz Chaim and Rav Meir Simchah had a number of heated exchanges about the matter. I always felt that the citation was a peace-offering from the Chofetz Chaim toward Rav Meir Simchah.”

Rav Shach conluded, “Even though this was just my own theory, I always felt certain that I was correct. I once met Rav Mendel Zaks, zt”l, the son-in-law of the Chofetz Chaim and presented it to him. He affirmed that this indeed had been the Chofetz Chaim’s intention, and he had even told this to the group of baal habatim with whom he learned the Mishnah Berurah in Radin. We must learn from our gedolim how to convey to those whom we may have insulted that we didn’t mean anything personal. Even if we did it l’shem Shomayim!

Arizal On Ki Teitzei and Elul

The Arizal explains this week's parsha (Sefer Halikutim) in a very inspiring manner: he stars off with the verse regarding Cain: "evil crouches at the doorpost," and explains that this refers to every Jew. Every Jew starts off with the Yetzer Hara and only receives the Yetzer Tov when he is thirteen years and one day old. But one's limbs are already accustomed to working with the Yetzer Hara from day one. When a person wishes to do teshuvah, this represents going out to war against his enemies as the first verse in our parsha discusses. And Hashem will give them into your hands," This refers to the Yetzer Hara. "And you will take captives," that is you will regain mastery over your limbs. "And you will see an eishes yefas to'ar," this refers to the neshama. "And you will bring her into your house and she will cut her hair" this refers to obliterating all emunos ra'os, bad faiths in your head." "And shorn her nails." means that you will cut away all connection to unnecessary materialism. "And she will remove the garment which she had on when she was captured," that is the evil garments that were on his neshama as a result of all of his sins as the verse states, "Remove your soiled garments." After this she will cry for her Father," this represents Hashem. "and her mother," this represents all of Israel [which was distanced as a result of his sins since all Jews are connected]." "For a month's time," this is the month of Elul, since in this context, the month means days and not years and Elul is a time that is fitting to do teshuvah.
In a different place on the parsha: Rav Chaim Vital explains that a Bar Mitzvah parallels our exile from Egypt. The seven days of the holiday represents the seven years from Bar Mitzva until twenty. One must be careful to avoid chametz and seor especially during these years. If he does so, he will merit to avoid sin later with much greater ease. The fourty nine days of the Omer represent the next fifty years of life, when one must continue to hold a strong vigil and strive to prepare to connect to Hashem. If he merits this then at the fiftieth day/year he attains the level of Matan Torah regarding which it says that Hashem spoke "face to face."

Never Shame Another

People often have a strange notion that if they do something as a joke, it is for some reason not prohibited since they “didn’t mean anything by it,” or “were just having a little innocent fun” at their friend’s expense. Such people may be very careful with the details of Torah law, but sadly use lame excuses like these to insult others in public even though the violation is compared to killing the victim! Unfortunately, it is often very difficult to break the habit of one who habitually embarrasses others, especially if he is wealthy or influential.
Once Rav Chunah Halberstam, zt”l, the av beis din of Kalshitz and the author of Direi Chunah, visited a certain city whose rosh hakahal was known for his biting humor. This rosh hakahal would embarrass everyone but was especially free with those he felt were of lower social status than himself. Although people had tried to explain the seriousness of this sin to the rosh hakahal he would just brush such rebuke aside, and continue publicly shaming others. The only way this problem could be corrected was through drastic measures.
Rav Chunah—who knew of the problem—turned to the rosh hakahal and said, “You should know that one is literally obligated to give up his life before embarrassing a fellow Jew. Everyone knows that we are obligated to give up our lives for the three cardinal sins of murder, idolatry, or gilui arayos. But it is not only these sins themselves but also the subsidiaries of these three sins that demand such a response. We find in Bava Metzia 58 that anyone who embarrasses another is compared to having killed him. Clearly one must give up his life before doing so, since this is just like murder!”
These fiery words of rebuke which were spoken with pain made a great impression on the rosh hakahal. From the day people noticed a marked improvement in his behavior.

The Secrets of Torah

At times we find that the Gemara concludes that certain details were exaggerated. The Pnei Zakein zt”l warns us away from a misunderstanding; chalilah that one should think that the Sages, who never wasted a single word, would indulge in simple exaggeration. The truth is that guzmah also means to cut. When the Gemara wants to hint at a very deep secret and still keep the matter hidden, the Sages used the language of guzmah—words that slice their meaning in two without revealing the secret.
The Chofetz Chayim zt”l, in his explanation of a Medrash, wrote that every word, every single letter, of Torah actually contains the deepest mysteries inside it that will only be revealed by Hashem in the world to come. One who learns the Torah in this world will be able to understand the true meaning of the Torah in the next world, and whoever did not exert himself to learn in this world will not understand the secrets contained within that Torah in the next world.
Rav Yitzchok Aizik of Komarna zt”l, the “Pnei Zakain” on Shekalim, once related: “My father tasted the world to come in the Torah. He was so connected to the Torah that he would often spend several days immersed in his learning without eating anything. Even so, he never appeared to suffer from hunger. The Torah sustained him so much that his very face shined!”
“One time, I remember my mother telling my cousin that she worried for his health since he hadn’t eaten for five days. My cousin went to see after him, but my father insisted all was well.
“My precious child,” he said, “believe me when I say that I absolutely do not feel hunger. If I felt any hunger I would eat, because hunger causes bitul Torah and weakness.” He was so bound up to the deeper level of Torah that he did not even feel that he had not eaten for days!

Rav Shlomo Zalman's Humility

The humility of Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, was legendary and was complimented by his insightful ability to avoid getting involved in conflicts. To this aim, he would often sidestep answering questions regarding thorny public issues. One time, someone pestered him to give an opinion in a certain public dispute. Rav Shlomo Zalman dodged the question brilliantly, as was his wont. He demurred, “Since you live in Bnei Brak, where the altercation is taking place, you can ask a local rav. Why must I rule when there are so many competent authorities in your city?”

When the neutralized askan finally went on his way, Rav Shlomo Zalman said to the person accompanying him, “Am I a rav at all, then? Over which community or neighborhood do I preside? I am just an old man. I don’t understand why people ask me…”

When he saw how astonished his companion was by this statement. He amended it. “Nu... So you can say that I teach young men.”[1]

On another occasion, the elderly posek was accosted by an American tourist who had just come to town. The tourist did not know the times for davening and decided to ask the kindly looking elderly gentleman just leaving the shul. Rav Shlomo Zalman began to enumerate all the many times for prayer in the shul. After he completed the list he repeated himself until the tourist had a clear grasp of when the times were.

The tourist felt a great appreciation to the kind gentleman and asked for his name. “Avuhah d’Shmuel,” replied the Rav with a smile.[2]

Local Customs

As is well known, the Maggid of Dubno, zt"l, would often travel to different locations to give over his inspiring parables and teachings. On one journey, the Maggid stopped at the home of a villager who had rooms for rent, but he was very surprised when they did not serve supper.
“We do not really serve food since we are so poor,” the proprietor explained.
The Maggid ruefully went up to his room to try to sleep, but he had no food with him and was wracked with hunger pains. Some time after he had gone to his room, the Maggid heard what appeared to be the family eating their evening meal. Sure enough, when he walked out of his room he found that the proprietor did have food to serve everyone else; he just did not want to be bothered with feeding his paying guest. So they had waited quite some time and only ate when they were sure their honored guest was fast asleep.
The Maggid would retell this story and say, “Through this experience I understood the gemara in Bava Metzia 86 which teaches that one should always follow the local custom, since our teacher Moshe did not eat or drink for forty days when he ascended on high to receive the Torah. This seems strange. Why not say that he didn't sleep for forty days since one cannot naturally live without sleep for even three days, while one can live without food for longer? The answer is that if Moshe didn’t eat since the angels did not, it is clear that he also didn’t sleep—if he had, perhaps they ate while Moshe slept!”
The Modzhitzer Rebbe, zt”l, would learn a very inspiring lesson from this very same gemara. “The gemara tells us, 'אל ישנה אדם מן המנהג'—one should not deviate from the prevalent custom. We can learn from this that no matter how he is treated from heaven he should not complain and say that he wishes things were different!”

No Tricks

As is fairly well known, many cities in Israel have a very well-developed system of public transportation. Although regular use of the buses can be fairly expensive, there is an option to purchase a monthly pass that allows unlimited travel for a set amount of money.
A certain student had purchased such a pass as he did every month but he had lost his pass. Although on every document that is issued there is a disclaimer explaining that the pass is not transferable for any reason, this young man figured his case was different. After all, he had paid for a pass. So he asked his friend if he could borrow his monthly pass to travel when the friend did not require it. The friend felt fairly certain that this was no problem, but since he knew that the halachos of financial matters are extremely complicated he decided to ask his rebbi, Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l.
When the boys asked their question and explained why they felt it was halacically permitted for them both to use one bus pass, Rav Shlomo Zalman reacted in a very strong manner. He literally stood up from his chair and exclaimed, “But this is a chilul Hashem!”
On another occasion, two cousins with the same name earned flight points with a certain non-Jewish airline. Although each one’s points alone didn’t amount to much, their combined points could earn them a free ticket. The two wondered if one of them could take all the points for himself and cash in on the reward. After all, the company was owned by non-Jews, and what difference did it make to them if the young men took advantage of their program?
But when they consulted with Rav Shlomo Zalman in this matter he absolutely forbade any such tricks. “That is gezel gamur!” he declared.

The Widow’s Comfort

A certain widow wished to show Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, her appreciation, but she was not certain how to go about this. After some thought she decided that whenever a new fruit was first introduced into the market she would buy him some to show how much she valued all of his help and emotional support.
Of course fruits first coming into season are exorbitantly expensive and the widow was receiving public funds. A certain student felt that it was not right for her to use the money to purchase something that he knew Rav Shlomo Zalman had no need or interest in. After all, when had he ever eaten a new fruit before it already was well in season and cheap? But when this person, who was very close to Rav Shlomo Zalman, asked what possible need was there for the widow to use money from tzedakah to purchase luxuriously expensive fruit, the rav got very upset with him.
“We are talking about a widow who has been broken by her bitter lot in life. The one thing which gives her pleasure in this world is to purchase expensive fruits for my use—and you wish to rob her even of this little enjoyment?”
On another occasion, a different widow came to him to ask what the best way was for her to give her deceased husband’s soul an aliyah in Gan Eden. His answer astonished her.
Rav Shlomo Zalman said, “Listen carefully to what I am about to tell you. Go out and buy your orphaned children toys that they will enjoy and make sure to find time to go out on trips with them. This is the best possible elevation you can make for your husband’s soul. Do your best to forget about your mourning and make your four children happy!”

An Early Start

The Pnei Menachem of Gur, zt”l, recounted that in 1942, when he was still a bochur, his father the Imrei Emes, zt”l, sent him to Tzfas to learn with his elder brother, the Lev Simcha, zt”l. The two made a seder to learn Seder Zeraim, both the Mishnayos and the Yerushalmi. Many years later, the Pnei Mencahem recounted some of the powerful encouragement his brother had given him to take advantage of the time and learn while he was still a youth.
“In Bava Metzia 85, chazal tell us that the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because they did not bless תחילה, which most take to mean before learning. But there is another way to read this. It can also mean that they did not capitalize on the blessing of youth and learn Torah when they were still young. Squandering their youth is what caused this terrible destruction. We see from this the preciousness of learning when one is still young...”
On another occasion, the Lev Simcha said, “The gemara in Bava Metzia 107 regarding the importance of eating breakfast seems difficult on the face of it. We have certainly seen many people who have eaten an early breakfast but have not come to such might. In Kotzk they would explain that the word פת has a numerical value of four hundred and eighty, the same as the word תלמוד. In this context the gemara means that those who learned Talmud in their youth easily outdistance many who learned later on.
“This resonates well with another pointed teaching of Kotzk: if people were born old and grew young, they would know how use these precious years properly. Because it is not this way, people do no recognize the importance of youthful learning when they are still young.”
But Rav Tzvi Hirsch of Ziditchov, zt”l, learned this passage differently. “Since פת is gematria תלמוד, our gemara is teaching the vital importance to having a daily gemara seder in the morning. One who learns gemara in the morning hours when he is still clear will easily outdistance someone who learns when his mind is unfocused...”

Equal Rights?

Although even today there can be serious fighting regarding who will lead davening when two people have yahrtzeit, many years ago this was a frequent cause of contention. Although this is more in the realm of the custom of each community, a complex system of very intricate rules regarding who davens first was nevertheless put into place so as to save many a senseless struggle, which certainly is no merit for the deceased.
Two people in a certain town had yahrtzeit, one for his mother and one for his father. This led to great contention, as usual. There was only one minyan in the city and both men wished to lead all the services.
When this question was brought before the Chidah, zt”l, he replied that the one with yahrtzeit for his father definitely takes precedence. “The reason is quite simple. We find in Bava Metzia 11 that a poor person takes precedence over a wealthy man. Since a man is most often much closer to sinning then a woman and, in addition, men have a perpetual obligation to learn Torah to overcome their base nature, their needs after death are not the same. The sins that most men are drawn after hardly apply to most women, and certainly bitul Torah is not a problem at all. Therefore it is obvious that the one who desperately needs any possible merit is the deceased father, not the mother. In addition, women have many merits that protect them, unlike men.
“From all of this it is clear that the man who lost his father takes precedence over the one who lost his mother, since his soul is certainly poor compared to hers.”
But when the Shaarei Efraim, zt”l, was consulted regarding the very same question he ruled that it was not so simple. It is not that he argued on the logic of the Chidah, he merely pointed out, “These halachos are predicated on custom. In a place where the custom is that the yahrtzeit of a father takes precedence over that of a mother, that is how they should conduct themselves. But if there is no custom the two should throw lots to find which has the rights of that year.”

Taking Care of Other People's Property

A certain grocer in Yerushalayim was in an absolute quandary. One Friday, well after midday, he discovered a large bag filled with grapes in his store. Since grapes were costly and these would surely spoil in the hot weather, he was unsure what to do.
He decided to go to Rav Eliyashiv, shlit”a, to ask if he could sell them and repay the owner when he was found. But Rav Eliyashiv explained that this was forbidden. “You may not sell them since you must keep them for the owner.”
“But they will be spoiled by tomorrow,” protested the grocer.
“Put them in a refrigerator,” Rav Eliyashiv replied.
“But so late on erev Shabbos, people do not have much space in their refrigerators…”
The gadol was clearly unimpressed. “Distribute them in several, then.”
As the grocer was walking home a certain man stopped him and asked if he had any delicacies to sell. “We just had a boy and I must make a shalom zachor this very night,” he explained.
The grocer decided to ignore Rav Eliyashiv and sell the grapes. After all, wasn’t this a clear sign from heaven—especially since the father was a very wealthy man and could afford to pay an exorbitant price for the grapes?
The grocer took five times the value of the fruit and reasoned that the owner would certainly be pleased.
That night the grocer heard a knock at his door. It was the shamash of the Rebbe of Toldos Aharon. He explained that he had finally recalled leaving the grapes that he had purchased for the rebbe in the grocery and had come to pick them up. The matter was urgent, since he needed them for his health.
The foolish grocer had tremendous anguish as he explained his error.
When this story was recounted to Rav Eliyashiv, he said, “There is no doubt that he had no right to sell the grapes. In Bava Metzia 38 we find a machlokes regarding leaving a deposit of fruit with a fellow Jew. The machlokes, however, only concerns a situation if the fruit will certainly spoil. If one can keep them without spoiling, everyone admits that they may not be sold.
He concluded, “Even for five times their value, they may not be sold!”

The Kohein’s Privilege

Although in the diaspora birkas kohanim is a rare event, in Israel it is recited each morning. A certain kohein enjoyed his morning coffee but also woke up a bit late for davening. His solution was to rush to shul and then get a coffee after kedushah. Unfortunately, this often caused him to miss birkas kohanim. Since he was often the only kohein in the early minyan he attended before work, this incensed the gabbai and other mispallelim.

They wished to teach this kohein a lesson that he would not soon forget. Of course, before they acted on their impulse, they first wanted to ensure that their plans were halachically acceptable. As the shul’s representative, the gabbai went to Rav Wosner, shlit”a, and asked if he could refuse this kohein the first aliyah.

The man argued, “After all, if he doesn’t do his job as a kohein, is the kahal responsible to give him the special mark of respect due to a kohein? I heard that the Chasan Sofer, zt”l, actually refused to give a kohein who neglected to do birkas kohanim the first aliyah. If this is true, then there is a good precedent for using this privilege to teach the man a lesson...”

Rav Wosner disagreed. “Although you should definitely tell this man off since he doesn’t do birkas kohanim regularly, you may not withhold rishon from him. He admits that he is a kohein and does not actually violate the positive commandment and has not violated his kehunah.

He concluded, “It is true that that the Chasan Sofer fined a kohein in this manner, but that was a special case. He did not mean to rule that one should halachically nullify a kohain’s right to honor in every case!”[1]

[1] שו"ת שבט הלוי, חלק ט', סימן כ"ז

Sensitivity to Another

The Alter of Slobodka, zt”l, was well known to be a mechanech par excellence. He always noticed what others did and would issue moral direction in exactly the right manner to help the student. His incredible success attests to his acumen. So many prominent rabbis and poskim emerged from Slobodka, that the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, remarked that he was jealous of the Alter. When the surprised hearers asked why, the Chofetz Chaim replied, “I write seforim but he makes mentschen!”
One time the Alter was walking behind a bochur in the street when he noticed the young man go to the side of the sidewalk, stoop to the ground, and pick up a paper. After he gazed at the paper for no more than an instant he replaced it on the ground.
The Alter approached and requested that he explain his strange behavior.
“I noticed that the paper was printed in Hebrew and I figured it was sheimos from a holy sefer and required genizah. But it only took a moment to realize that the paper was not sheimos at all—far from it—and I put it back on the side. After all, it is very much to the side and no one will be damaged by it.”
The Alter looked at him gravely and gently said, “Tell me, what is the halachah for someone who causes his friend to fall to the ground?”
“He is responsible for all damage incurred to the person,” the young man replied.
“How did you fail to realize that another person may very well walk by and also mistakenly think this page is sheimos and bend over for nothing to lift up this paper? By throwing it back down—despite the fact that no one will physically trip over it—you have fashioned a bor b’reshus harabim. This is a stumbling block for your friend since what difference does it make if the bor makes a person fall to the ground or bend over for naught? The moment you picked up the paper and noticed that it was not sheimos, you should have kept it to throw in the garbage to save another some trouble!”

Spirit of the Law: Shabbos 72:19

He brings the halacha that uncooked foods which cook fairly quickly may not be left in a hot oven from before Shabbos unless they are cooked (enough to be edible from) before Shabbos. If one placed a food that was not yet cooked into an oven that will not be cooked by Shabbos, the food is prohibited until after Shabbos.

The Eglei Tal writes in his introduction to Hilchos Shabbos that the main mitzva of Talmud Torah is to take pleasure and joy (sass visameach) in one’s learning. Learning in this way causes the words of Torah to be absorbed in ones blood!" Interestingly although the Eglei Tal was a Chasidic Rebbe, when someone showed this piece to the Chazon Ish, zt"l, he looked very pleased and said “This is the ultimate goal of the Litvasher path!—“Dos is shpitz Litvak!”

In a similar vein, Rav Wolbe, zt"l, writes in a letter: "The main way to develop ahavas Hashem is that one feels such great pleasure in every word of Torah and Emunah that this learning Torah is literally the ultimate pleasure for one –tachlis ha’hana’ah.” (This is how he learns the famous Rambam in Sefer Hamitsvos.)

Anything learned in this spirit draws down tremendous holiness. Of course, some people take pleasure specifically in a particular sefer or method of learning. The Mishnas Chasidim writes that one who feels drawn to learn a particular type of learning should spend most of his time doing this, since usually feeling a draw to some particular holiness signifies that this is likely his personal rectification.

It is important to note that the Mishnas Chasidim says clearly that one should learn some of each major category of Torah. Yet one should still spend most of his time learning what speaks to him.

(Many Yeshivos focus mostly on learning in depth since without proper analytical skills one will lack true comprehension of what he learns. Another reason for this is because this sort of learning is easier to enjoy since it is intellectually stimulating.)

The Mekor Chaim explains that subjects or material which one knows he should learn and are "easily cooked" -- easy for one to learn through should not be put off for "Shabbos" when one thinks he will have a better opportunity or a higher state of consciousness. The reason why is that one must seize his opportunity whenever it presents itself to him. One who puts it off and does not learn this material through even in a shallow manner by doing what he can, will not be able to learn it until after Shabbos, that is it will not work out according to his plan. Either he will be unable to learn it through even if he is afforded the higher consciousness of Shabbos or the foreseen better times will not come.

Of course one who truly loves to learn will use every moment he can to connect to Hashem, the One who gave the Torah. Another clear point: there are many levels of expression of this love but the main thing is to begin fresh the moment one catches on that he has fallen or erred.

Once someone asked the Kotzker Rebbe if it was better for him to work now full time until he has saved enough to learn full time or if he should just make whatever time he could to learn even as he worked.

The Rebbe responded that he should learn as much as he was able while he worked. "This is a clear mishna in Avos: Don't say I will learn when I have time since perhaps you will not have time. The explanation can also be read, 'since you are a person who is not going to have free time to learn.' It is quite possible that Hahsem wants one to learn even though it is difficult for him."

Sometimes, Hashem's plan is for someone to work to overcome the difficulties involved in stealing time. Clearly this is more precious to Him than a person who has time on his hands to learn but no obstacles that must be surmounted, since the reward is commensurate with the difficulty experienced.

Spirit of the Law: Shabbos 72:17 and 18

Labor on Shabbos by a Non-Jew for a Jew [Kitzur Shulchan Aruch: Shabbos 72:17]

One must be careful to remove food cooking (on coals) from the coals before Shabbos. If one forgot to remove the food from the coals before Shabbos, one may not remove the food from the coals (since the pot is resting on the coals this would certainly at least partially extinguish the coals and this is forbidden on Shabbos). A non-Jew can remove the pot for the Jew (since he is not trying to extinguish the coals but the extinguishing is unavoidable because of the act that he is doing. The sages permitted a non-Jew to do this type of de facto melacha.)

Since we have already seen how important it is to refrain from halachic labor on Shabbos, it seems quite strange that we are sometimes permitted to do halachic labor via a Gentile. Why should this be permitted? It is true that we learn from the verse that a Gentile has not ability to be a sheliach, halachic messenger, yet since it is so important not to do labor on Shabbos, how can we do labor in any way at all? Why isn't this at the very least not in keeping with the sanctity of Shabbos and prohibited across the board, just like the labor of a Jew?

In order to understand this we must delve into why Yitzchak wished to give the blessings to Eisav. After all, it is not as though he was not already a completely wicked person. How is it that Rivkah saw through him yet Yitzchak did not?

The Likutei Halachos explains that Yitzchak figured that Eisav would act as the administrator of worldly goods and provide for the material needs of Yaakov, while Yaakov toiled in Torah, much like the famous arrangement between Yisachar and Zevulun. This would have been ideal if only Eisav had been willing. The Arizal actually writes that if only Eisav had gone over to the side of holiness he would have been much greater than Yaakov since his source was much higher, since he had a harder time becoming a tzaddik. But in truth Eisav had absolutely no inclination to use his strengths to serve the side of holiness. He wanted the blessings all to himself.

The Zohar writes that this was a very dangerous time since if he had received the brochos, Yaakov, and his children after him, would have had no way to support themselves, since all materialism would have to go through Eisav, and he was completely unwilling to give anything for the support of Torah or holiness. It was only thanks to Rivka that Eisav did not prevail and Yaakov received the brochos.

This explains why Rivkah could not just tell Yitzchak her fears. Yitzchak knew that Yaakov was more righteous. He wished to give the brochos to Eisav since he saw the wondrous rectification Eisav would have made had he done teshuva. Eisav fooled his father into thinking that he was on the path to holiness when his entire interest in holiness was only to rob the brochos from his holy father.

The Zohar further explains the reason why Yaakov had to be forced by Rivkah to trick Yitzchak into giving him the blessings. Rivkah was a reincarnation of Chava who tricked Adam into eating from the fruit of the tree of knowledge, so this was her way of partially rectifying her blemish. She was tricked by the side of evil and she tricked the side of evil into relinquishing the brochos.

But what does this have to do with the halacha? The answer is that the original plan of Eisav working in the material and supporting Yaakov is still intact. Although Eisav rejected it, in times to come the righteous Gentiles will be in charge of materialism while Jews who merit this will bask in the light of true spiritual development in the ultimate future. Now we understand why the Torah permits a Gentile to do prohibited labor for a Jew on Shabbos. Shabbos represents the ultimate future, when Jews will no longer be involved in material pursuits. Just as Gentiles will be dealing with these pursuits in times to come, they are permitted to deal with them now as well.

The only reason the sages were so stringent regarding telling a non-Jew to do halachically prohibited labor on Shabbos is because this will naturally desensitize them from doing such labor themselves. But in certain situations, such as our halacha, a non-Jew is permitted to do what is forbidden for a Jew.

Connecting to Hashem on Shabbos [Kitzur Shulchan Aruch: Shabbos 72:18]

Foods that are left to cook in the oven before Shabbos to cook, are permitted even though the door to the oven is not sealed with mud (or something else. I would have thought one needs a reminder not to open the oven). It is prohibited to open the oven at night since maybe one of the dishes is not fully cooked and by closing the oven one is cooking on Shabbos (because now it will cook faster).

It is significant that the Torah specifies only the halachic labor of fire while discussing the prohibitions of Shabbos. Rav Nosson, zt”l, explains that everything Hashem created can be used to recognize and come closer to Hashem. This can be done only by mankind. Only humans have enough understanding to recognize the Creator. This is the purpose of Creation, that we recognize Hashem through every experience even the most physical.

This is why Hashem brought all His creatures to man to give them a name. The name is the essence, the way we can grasp the thing is through a name. Since mankind’s purpose is to search for the sublime in everything, the first man was the one to give names to everything.

For this reason as well, everything was created lacking completion. This is the purpose of all the melachos during the week, to complete the physical world which lacks wholeness.

For example, how much hard work and how many steps must one invest merely to plant a field with seeds, until he has harvested the wheat? But even then he is not nearly done. He must then do a whole new series of steps until he is finally able to enjoy some freshly baked bread. The same is true regarding garments we wear. It takes hard work to grow the wool or flax, etc., and even then we must still put in huge efforts before we finally have a garment.

Let's take the example of turning wheat into bread. If one looks at wheat kernels, he will likely have just as difficult a time recognizing the greatness and kindness of the Creator as an inedible plant. But once one partakes of bread it is much easier to see the greatness of Hashem (if he considers it). Clearly it is easier to appreciate the Creator through bread which is the work of man, than through a kernel of wheat.

Had Adam been worthy, he would have been able to complete all of Creation with such ease. His only task was to daven on erev Shabbos, until Shabbos. If he had only done so without ignoring Hashem's one commandment, he would have recognized Hashem through the entire creation with great ease. In this way, he would have fulfilled the purpose of creation.

But instead of davening, Adam sinned. As a result of his blemish, everything was damaged and it was no longer possible to attain completion through prayer alone. This is the deeper meaning of Hashem's decree that, "He shall eat bread with the sweat of his brow." We would now have to toil to get bread from wheat. In our imperfect world, it is only through rigorous effort that most can appreciate the Divine through the physical world. And even the most refined have to do many physical tasks and chores. It is virtually impossible to live without this.

Most people must work for a living and everyone has to contend with our very physical world. We must eat and attend to physical needs. We all must have food cooked for us, clothes woven for us, etc. It is only through the thirty-nine forbidden Shabbos labors that we can bring the material world to completion.

Every person has an inner fire which can be used for good or bad. Before Adam's sin, one was not drawn towards overindulgence by the material reality. But Adam's sin lowered the material world. He gave power to the forces of evil which strengthened the inner fire of illicit desire for unnecessary material indulgence. This can be food, other lusts, honor, money, etc.

Rebbe Nachman calls the negative destroying fire meorei eish. When the fire is a balanced flame used to better a person's connection to Hashem it is meorei ohr.

Of course every person must also use the negative fires to serve Hashem. He needs to pray passionately, and arouse this kind of might when setting boundaries. But this needs to be used sparingly and with great care.

Our sages taught that Adam only survived in the merit of Shabbos. This teaches that for us today, as well, the main way to rectify any blemish is through the holiness of Shabbos. The reason why is because on Shabbos the forces of evil have no power at all. The light of Hashem illuminates all the worlds and the venom of the snake of the fire of lust is pushed aside since, in a sense, the sin of Adam is rectified just before each Shabbos.

Any person who is interested is afforded great spiritual connection on Shabbos. No matter how much he has sinned, even if he transgressed the whole torah, chas vishalom he can recognize Hashem and do true teshuvah by connecting to the holiness of Shabbos. No matter how low one may have fallen, even if he is on the lowest possible level, chas vishalom, he can return through keeping Shabbos and connecting to tzadikim (at the very least this means learning their advice and following in their ways.)

Now we understand why we are prohibited from doing the 39 halachic labors on Shabbos. Since one can find Hashem on Shabbos, without being involved in material pursuits, one who does such labor regardless is clearly denying the sanctity and holiness of Shabbos.

One who lights a fire on Shabbos is causing a meorei eish. This is one reason why the melacha of making fire is singled out and mentioned when Hashem tells us to keep Shabbos. We are commanded about this since this is the sad result of forbidden halachic labor.

This also explains why Chazal were exceedingly strict with restrictions about safety measures to ensure that we will not come to forget ourselves and make illicit use of fire on this holy day.

Meorei ohr is a feeling of balanced connection. Kind of like when we do something good or we get nachas from someone. We feel a steady balanced pleasure, “a warm glowing feeling inside”. This is how we should feel when doing mitsvos and at all times. This comes (slowly!) from true connection to Hashem through Torah and mitsvos. Of course there are very many levels. Sometimes it is much stronger, and more powerful, but it is always balanced. It is not a consuming fire at all. It is the opposite of one who feels his adrenalin rushing and gets an intense feeling of self. This type of feeling should be channeled into avodas Hashem which transforms the feeling into a balanced connection.

Meorei ohr is when we are filled with happiness, emunah, bitachon, joy, self-worth and anavah. These are the middos which come from the Sefira of Malchus, genuinely accepting the kingship of Hashem, which is easily accessible on Shabbos to all of us.

Meorei ohr is the opposite of anger jealousy conceit or feeling a “burning” physical desire. When we feel any of these things it is our job to have the courage to “reboot” because of a problem with “our system”. We realize that if we fell down, it is time to start again, since our meorei ohr went out and all is darkness.

Eventually one gets the negative fire less and less. He has already felt the sweetness of true connection and really does not want to get angry or display other unfortunate midos, since he knows that this will cause him to lose his connection. Of course, anyone may regain it at any time, but this takes the humility of a new start.

As the Likutey Halachos writes all sin and distance from our Creator comes from the place we are in or the time we are at. We feel that we cannot connect from our physical or emotional starting point. Of course this is just an outright lie. There is no time or place in which we cannot connect to Hashem!

May we merit the true connection of Shabbos which is meorei ohr and may this influence us during the days of the week. May we merit the connection of the true Talmedei Chachamim for whom the illumination of the light of Shabbos shines onto the six days of the week!

Cohen or Kohein?

A certain young man returned to the faith of his fathers. As he learned more he adjusted his behavior to comply with his new understanding. Although this baal teshuvah’s last name was Cohen and he had always assumed he was actually a kohein, after he heard a shiur on the subject he was no longer so certain. He had heard that his paternal grandfather had married a non-Jewess. Not only that, but family rumor had it that this woman remained a practicing non-Jew for her entire life and was buried in a non-Jewish cemetery. According to the shiur that he had just heard then, he was no kohein at all. When he broached this subject with his rabbi, the rabbi ruled that he is not a kohein in any regard and may even marry a divorcee.
But when he told this to someone else, it got even more confusing: “How could your rabbi say this? Who told him that we trust your family rumors? There are halachos that determine who is acceptable for bearing witness. When we believe things or not is a complicated matter…”
This second person consulted with Rav Shmuel Wosner, shlit”a, regarding whether or not the first rabbi consulted was correct, and if not whether they should protest the psak. Rav Wosner answered, “It is well known that there is a dispute about how we are meant to understand the gemara in Kiddushin 69. The gemara tells us that Nechemiah refused to give kodshei kodoshim to the children of kohanim who could not procure documents proving their lineage. Some authorities learn from here that since our kohanim do not have such proof of their heritage they are all questionable kohanim. Other authorities counter that they were kosher for avodah, but Nechemiah had more established kohanim available so he disqualified them. According to this view, had there been no other kohanim to perform the avodah they would have been valid. In our case, although we cannot be sure of this young man’s true situation, it would appear as though we should believe what this young man heard. This is especially true since he may be able to track down his grandmother’s grave in the non-Jewish cemetery…”
Rav Wosner concluded, “G-d forbid that we should be lenient in other cases, but if someone rules in this case that he should not be treated as a kohein, we should not reject that rabbi’s ruling. As for the name Cohen, this is irrelevant to his status. While it is true that he has a chazakah in his name, he does not have one in his kehunah!”

Spirit of the Law: A Meaningful Tisha B'Av

Introduction: Many people believe that it is virtually impossible to have a meaningful Tisha B'Av. Yet most do not make much effort to prepare themselves to receive the light of this holiday by learning about what it really means so that they can be emotionally moved both by what we mourn and what we have to gain on this special day. It is not for nothing that Tisha B'Av is called a moed by many Rishonim.

Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt"l, once said, "It is possible to advance spiritually on Tisha B'Av just as much as on Yom Kippur."[1]

But as the Zohar states, holiness can only be accessed through preparation…

Ben Ish Chai: Parshas Devarim

#18: It is forbidden to learn Torah after Midday on Erev Tisha B'Av. The only material which may be studied is that which is permitted on Tisha B'Av itself…

[Note some poskim permit on Erev Tisha B'Av until bein hashemashos, close to nightfall. It is important to note that it is permitted to learn works of Mussar on Tisha B'Av.]

The Yesod V'Shoresh Havodah, zt"l, teaches that we see from the prohibition to learn on this day despite our perpetual obligation to learn Torah, teaches the paramount importance of focusing on the mourning of the loss of our holy temple. The way one can manage this is to do his best to refrain from speaking unnecessarily to anyone. One who is truly careful from forgetting the tragic loss of the Beis Hamikdash for the entire day, will certainly merit to see the comforting of Tzion.[2]

But isn't that depressing? After all, the most disgusting defilement is sadness since this pushes away Hashem as we see in the Talmud?

We can answer this question with the words of Rav Nosson of Breslov, zt"l, in Likutei Halachos, who typically turns this entire problem around and makes what seemed to be depressing into a fight of depression and worry over one's sins.[3]

He explains that the three weeks are a time of terrible judgment as we find in countless sources. But dinim, judgments are actually an aspect of "fallen fears." Fallen fears are a panic-like fear or depression brought about by anything that is not Hashem.

The Ramak, zt"l, writes in Tomer Devorah, that one who fears punishment or the like is not afraid of Hashem. He is actually afraid of the outer forces that administer punishment. But that is not true fear of Hashem at all. True fear of Hashem is a feeling of tremendous awareness and alacrity to avoid anything that can make a person slip away from Hashem. [We find this definition in Likutei Halachos and it is later echoed by Rav Yerucham Levovitz, zt"l.]

In this context we do not merely mourn in a general fashion that we are so far from Hashem. Instead we should mourn the bad we have done and work assiduously to rectify what we have blemished and stop our negative behaviors. As long as we continue to act in a manner that we know is wrong, it is as if we are destroying the Beis Hamikdash right now since our sins prevent the Beis Hamikdash from being rebuilt.

But of course it is impossible to correct every bad at once. Rebbe Nachman advises picking one thing and working on that. It should be something that is not too hard for us to change. We must also realize that even the effort and desire for change is very precious to Hashem.

We must judge ourselves and truly notice how much this activity does not suit a person who wishes a spiritual lifestyle and the entire day we should mourn and yearn mostly regarding this problem.

The more we work on changing ourselves, the more we rebuild the Beis Hamikdash.

Now we can understand how a person can focus on the terrible losses of the Beis Hamikdash without being depressed or feeling despair. We only need to do what we can. Why should we give up without even trying hard? Just as the teshuvah of Yom Kippur helps even if we fall back into our negative behaviors, the same is true regarding the mourning on Tisha B'Av. In certain ways the mourning is even more powerful, since we are focusing on our actions "on the ground." On Yom Kippur we are lifted up to the highest heights. On Tisha B'Av we realize how far we have to go and that it is time to stop giving up on truly changing ourselves a little at a time.

19) [Discusses the well known halachos for the meal immediately proceeding Tisha B'Av]

But what is the point of such self denial?

We can understand what is behind this halacha from the words of the Yesod V'Shoresh Havodah.[4] He writes that even during the nine days it is fitting that we avoid any kind of delicacy, whether food or drink during these days. This is fitting since it brings home to us that we lack the holy Temple. It is so easy to just ignore this. We can mindlessly follow the halachos of these days (which is also very precious since it is an aspect of yiras Shamayim albeit a small one as Rav Yerucham Levovitz writes,) or we can try to connect to what is behind the prohibitions.

The Maharal writes that the Beis Hamikdash is the place where Hashem connected to the tachtonim, the Jewish people here in the physical world.[5]

That sounds so lofty, but what does it really mean? The Maharal explains.[6] The Beis Hamikdash lifted up the entire world to a higher spiritual reality, since it was a G-dly place that had an effect on the entire world. This is similar to a person who has true understanding. He is no longer only concerned with the material. This person understands that the material is very ephemeral, while the spiritual is forever. Naturally his actions show that the spiritual is paramount in his eyes. When there was a Beis Hamikdash, it was much harder to forget Hashem. And it was so much easier to elevate the material.

This is why no one understood how the temple could have been destroyed. Rav Nosson explains that the underlying reason why it was destroyed was because people took it for granted. They figured that with all the closeness afforded to them they could do whatever they wanted and that Hashem would never really destroy the holy temple. Even with all the warnings they were afforded, they never even thought to do teshuvah because why should they? Of course they were wrong since there was one thing that could destroy the Beis Hamikdash: apathy towards becoming more spiritual. It is our job to correct this by working to change for the better as much as we can.

Today, we are without a Beis Hamikdash and the world seems to be a completely material place to so many of us. How sad! Even the most religious have such a hard time remembering the real purpose of creation.

But if we miss the Beis Hamikdash, Hashem will return it to us. It all depends on how we comport ourselves on these most holy days…

20) We do not make a mezuman, during bentching.

The Ben Ish Chai himself explains why. Zimun shows a sense of permanence. But we do not want a sense of permanence during a meal to commemorate our mourning the holy temple, since we want this state to end. We still hope that our righteous redeemer will come and take us out of exile and rebuild our holy temple speedily in our days. Amen! Then we will make a meal of joy and gladness!

21) One should not go absolutely barefoot on Tisha B'Av. He should at least wear socks…

Rav Nosson of Breslov, zt"l,[7] explains that the main thing is what a person wants with his entire self. This is the identity of a Jew since although one can be forced to act in a certain manner his desires cannot be forcibly changed; although he sometimes can be convinced. (This concept also emerges from the Maharal.)

We cry on Tisha B'av because of Eisav's tears. Just as when Eisav cried it was because he lost absolute dominion in the physical world, when a person chases materialism with his entire self, he "cries the tears of Eisav" as it were, since the very name Eisav stems from the root, asiya, which means action and refers to the material world of action. This is the ultimate destruction of the holy temple since one makes an end in itself of materialism and completely fails to show an interest in spiritual attainments. What about holiness? What about goodness? In Rebbe Nachman's words, the sophisticate says, "There will be time for that." Yet we see that he never finds any time for an honest consideration of spiritual truths.

When we mourn the Temple, we mourn our having blemished our holy desire. Like Eisav we scream a mighty cry for our lusts and foolishness. But of course such attainments are empty since they do not at all satisfy the soul, our lasting selves. Instead overly much materialism merely leads to depression and a feeling of emptiness inside. We then try to fill this with another empty physical conquest and another but nothing really helps.

We deprive ourselves of shoes because we finally understand that we have been going places that are absolutely empty and we wish to mend our ways. But we should not go absolutely barefoot since this would pain us and pain is not the point. The point is to have a day to make a true evaluation: have I been yearning for holiness or is the material the most important element in my life? We halt ourselves and stop mindlessly wandering in the same old paths. From today we are going to stop destroying the Beis Hamikdash, the ultimate source of deep soul searching yearning for Hashem. We will stop crying for materialism and begin to truly search for a little more spirituality each and every day.

22) …We do not say the blessing, "who has fulfilled for me all my needs" on Tisha B'Av since we do not have shoes. [Most Ahskenazic authorities rule that we should say this blessing. Even those who do not, hold that one should say it that night when he puts on his shoes.]

Rav Nosson of Breslov, zt"l, explains:[8] We remove our shoes on Tisha B'Av because this embarrasses us and embarrassment is an excellent catalyst to enable one to see his sins and do teshuvah. Through finally seeing our sins and doing teshuvah we are lifted up to the aspect of Binah, which is an aspect of a neder (vow). This teaches that we are enabled to finally let go of and absolutely reject the negative within. Through teshuvah we are rectified so we can put on our shoes.

Yom Kippur symbolizes the culmination of this process while Tisha B'Av is the start. We take off our shoes on Tisha B'Av to really recognize and begin to throw out our negatives and negativity. On Yom Kippur we finally reach true teshuvah and (hopefully) transform the sin into an asset since we work much harder to overcome our tendency to slip back into the abyss of spiritual descent. This ironclad commitment generally comes on Yom Kippur.

24) It is forbidden to do melacha, labor on Tisha B'Av [so as not to distract one from mourning]

The Yalkut Shimoni writes that when the Jews sat on the banks of the rivers of Bavel they saw that Yirmeyahu was going to leave them and they burst into heartfelt tears.

Yirmeyahu replied to them, "I call as my witness the heavens and the earth! If you had only cried one time when you were still in Tzion, there would have been no destruction or exile."

This is a very important day. Rav Pinchas of Koritz said that when we are on the floor we are very close to Hashem and it is a very auspicious time to ask for whatever we need.

There is so much that each of us needs! Let us take to heart the words of Yirmeyahu and beg Hashem to help us truly draw near to Him and His Torah. Let us ask for even our physical needs since He is the One who truly provides for us.

Let us not allow ourselves to be distracted on this most holy day. To paraphrase the words of Rebbe Nachman: although it appears to be a day of distance, the distance is actually completely to draw near and not to distance at all.

25) On Tisha B'Av it is fitting to put on Talis and Tefilin of Rashi and Rabeinu Tam and recite the Shema at home and then go to shul. [But the prevalent Ashkenazic custom is to put on Tefilin only during Mincha.]

Rav Nosson of Breslov explains[9] that tefilin specifically correspond to the Beis Hamikdash since both are refered to as our splendor. We do not wear tefilin during the morning of Tisha B'av [or at least publicly according to the sefardic custom quoted by the Ben Ish Chai] since both temples were destroyed on this day. (We refrain from wearing a talis as well, since our talis is generally paired with tefilin except on days when we do not wear tefilin at all, like Shabbos and Yom Tov. On such days we are lifted to a much higher level than tefilin and are therefore forbidden to wear them.)

But the moment the temple was finally destroyed, the splendor of the Jewish people was revealed in a very powerful way. This is the deeper meaning of the Midrash which states that Moshiach is born during the afternoon of Tisha B'Av.

The moment the Beis Hamikdash \splendor of the Jewish people was destroyed this showed that there was still a tremendous amount of good in the Jewish people. After all, Hashem chose to destroy the temple but not His chosen nation. This sweetened His anger as it were and revealed our tremendous good points in a very powerful way.

Similarly, immediately after the destruction of the temple it is our job to immediately focus on the good points and be comforted. We must believe that we have achieved the highest rectifications from this holiday and that the negative will turn to positive through the influence of Atik, the highest aspect of Kindness with which Hashem favors the Jewish people, His nation that is intrinsically connected to Him for all eternity.

26) Here in Bagdad, the custom is for people to skip Shiras Hayam, and say ha'azinu instead. Although I personally say Shiras Hayam and only say Ha'azinu after davening, and this is the custom of those who are wise, I do not protest this practice.

The Yesod V'Shoresh Ha'avodah[10] gives a striking parable to understand this day: This can be compared to a father who has lost a beloved child Hashem yishmoreinu! Surely the other children will do what they can to comfort the father of his suffering. Receiving comfort from the many is a well known to afford a mourner half the comfort he needs to continue with life and let go of bitterness. But if the siblings are indifferent this will surely add to the misery of the bereaved parent.

Similarly, it is our job to truly internalize that the Beis Hamikdash is a loss. How many lives were lost on this unfortunate day? How much terrible suffering came into the world because of this day?

But the Beis Hamikdash was not only a loss for us collectively as Jews, but for Hashem since he "suffers" (as it were) whenever any Jew anywhere suffers.

One who spends his day internalizing this loss will merit great reward. Not only will he be rewarded for the mitzvah of actually fasting; he also mourns our Father's loss and also the suffering and loss of His children who are very precious to Him. (It is important to note that one who can fast and does not loses much more than a person who did all the avodah in the world but did not fast. It is better not to daven on Tisha B'Av if by doing so one will be unable to fast. Of course a sick person is an exception but that is the next paragraph in the Ben Ish Chai).

27) A sick person who must not fast should say nachem during bentching…

The Shem Mishmuel zt”l once wrote to his son-in-law Rav Yaacov Tsvi zt”l: “I heard from my daughter…that the doctor feels that you are recovering, may Hashem send you complete recovery. Yom Kippur is approaching and I want to warn you not to act overly righteous by fasting if the doctor tells you to eat. If he says that eating less than a shiur is not potentially dangerous to your health, then do so. If he says that this is not enough for you, G-d forbid that you should be stringent and endanger yourself. He who commanded us to fast on Yom Kippur commanded us to eat for health reasons. Do not think that only an immediate danger allows one to eat. Even when there is the shadow of a doubt, one must eat… This is the meaning of the gemara in Yoma: If the sick person says that he doesn’t need to eat but the doctor says he does, we listen to the doctor. This is even in the case of a sick person who himself understands the nature of sickness…even if he is a real expert, we still listen to the doctor.

“I am certain that you recall what you have heard from me many times that the main element of Judaism is to nullify one’s own understanding before that of the Torah and the chachomim. Even if they tell you that your left is really right. This is the most important avodah of a Jew, and by eating as ordered by the doctor you will be doing this distinguished avodah. Therefore you should feel no pain in the event of your having to eat, because in such an eventuality you will actually be doing a more precious avodah than one who fasts!”

This is why one who must eats says Nachem on Tisha B’Av, just like he says during Mincha. By not fasting he has achieved even more than fasting and can certainly say this holy prayer.



28) One should be careful to sanctify the moon after Tisha B'Av with joy and say, Dovid melech Yisrael Chai v'kayam!

Rav Nosson explains that the underlying character of Tisha B’Av is that we believe that Hashem will comfort us and redeem us from our exile. We should never allow the evil within to use Tisha B’Av as an excuse for causing despair. We must always remember: Dovid melech Yisrael Chai v'kayam!


[1] From Sifsei Chaim III:pg.294

[2] Yesod V'Shoresh Havodah 9:12

[3] Likutei Halachos, hilchos Shlichus V'harsha 3

[4] 12:9

[5] Netzach Yisrael, chapter 52

[6] Nesiv HaTorah, chapter 14

[7] Likutei Halachos Areiv #3.

[8] Ibid. Hilchos Yibum #3

[9] Likutei Halachos, Hilchos Reishis Hagaz #4

[10] Yesod V'shoresh Ha'avodah 9:11

The Value of a Half-Penny

As is well known, the Chazon Ish, zt”l, would make time to go to the sea since swimming is a very healthy pastime which he believed was important for his wellbeing. At other times, he would go to the sea to immerse. When he went on such trips he would take a companion along with him.
Once the Chazon Ish, zt”l, went with someone to the shore near Tel Aviv to immerse. In the place where they went there were two options for swimmers to put their clothing. Swimmers could either pay out a full grush, or penny, and place their clothes in a shaded changing booth, or they could leave their garments in an open box under the baking summer sun for half as much.
To the surprise of the person accompanying him, the Chazon Ish made his way for the boxes in the open sun. When the companion suggested they take a shaded booth, the Chazon Ish continued making his way towards the open boxes as though he had not heard him.
After they immersed they made their way to the boxes under the harshly beating sun. When they finally reached them, the companion commented, “Too bad we didn’t take a changing booth…”
The Chazon Ish looked down at his walking stick and said softly “We can give the other half a grush to tzedakah.”
When the companion told over this story he remarked, “That trip taught me the greatness of even half a penny of tzedakah!”

Lashon Hara L'Toeles

A certain group of students were learning in a yeshiva in Israel that was known as an environment where false dei’os flourished. These students knew that the only way to convince their fellow students of the folly of such opinions was to speak against the rabbis who championed such opinions. But they wondered if this was halachically permitted. After all, talking against a talmid chacham is a very serious sin.
To their surprise, when they went to the Chazon Ish, zt”l, and asked him if this was permitted he refused to answer them. They decided to return a second time but the Chazon Ish was silent yet again.
On their third visit, he began to ask them numerous questions “What are your names? Where are you from? How long have you been learning?”
When he was finally satisfied with their answers he said, “In terms of the halachos of a talmid chacham... Although the rabanim you have named have a position, they do not learn every free moment. The Chofetz Chaim rules that only one who knows how to learn and whose Torah study is his exclusive occupation is a talmid chacham. These people are like tailors and shoemakers that work to earn a living.
“But that’s only regarding the question of whether disparaging these particular rabbis constitutes embarrassing a talmid chacham. If you spread negative opinions about them, you will still violate the prohibition of lashon hara. You wish to speak l’toleles? Let me tell you how to speak lashon hara l’toeleles. Rav Chaim Brisker only attended the first Agudah convention because, during the proceedings, someone spoke against a certain communal activist and claimed that something he had done had caused trouble. Rav Chaim immediately stood up and proclaimed, ‘It is prohibited to sit here since people speak lashon hara!’
“But why was this lashon hara?” asked the Chazon Ish. “The person speaking was addressing an important concern and every word he spoke was absolutely true. It was forbidden because the person spoke in a judgmental and self-righteous manner. If the speaker at the convention had said instead, ‘Rabbosai! This person’s error has brought about a terrible problem! Let us all work together to try and rectify it!’ this would have been lashon hara l’toeles.”

Spirit of the Law: Halachos of the Three weeks I

Kitzur Shulchan Aruch: 121:1 "From the 17th of Tamuz the tzaros of the churban started so the custom is to comport oneself a little like a mourner. It is fitting for anyone who fears heaven to say tikun chatzos after midday during this time…"
The Gemara writes:all who mourn the destruction of Yerushalayim will merit to see her nechama .The Maharal explains two reasons why one must first mournto see the nechamah.

the first thing to understand is that the world is in a very imperfect state primarily because it lacks its most basic component: the Beis Hamikdash.Mourning the Beis Hamikdash shows that we appreciate our loss and the reason for our loss.
The more we appreciate how much we lack on because of our lack of a Beis Hamikdash the more we mourn and show our relationship with the true metsios of the world. For the world is really supposed to be a world of completion for a world with a Beis Hamikdash reveals the deep spiritual connection between the Creator and His creations .
The second reason is because the rule is that only something lacking can come to a new level of completion. For example, a seed must decompose in order to grow into a tree. The contents of an egg must become putrid before a chick can be formed.
We can learn this from a number of chazal’s as well: The yearning for Chachma makes one a suitable vessel to receive chachama. A woman’s yearning for children makes her a suitable vessel to have children. Even in the antecedents of the world we find that first there was tohu, vohu and choshech and only then could there be a creation.
For this reason it is only one who feels that he is missing the Beis Hamikdash who will be able to access the spiritual levels of nechama, Hashem's comfort to us. Only one who truly knows his flaws has space to become more complete. One who feels complete cannot develop since “you can’t improve on perfection.” If he really doesn’t feel perfect why doesn't he yearn for completion? Failure to yearn shows that for one reason or another we relate to ourselves as if we were perfect . Intenllectual knowledge of our flaws is completely irrelvant just as one who "knows" that he needs to control his temper will continue to act the exact same way if his knowledge stays in his head and does not reach his heart.
Our identity is revealed in our attitude. Refusal to emotionally acknowledge our imperfections by ignoring them and failing to yearn to improve them, condemns us to bear our faults.To explain this with a simple metaphor:if someone who takes a daily dose of live saving medicine knows he has run out he can try and get another prescription and purchase more. One who has no idea that he is almost out believes he has enough and will take no steps to rectify his situation until he notices that his supply is dwindling. Surely we would never fix something we don’t believe is broken.
Often one doesn't yearn to improve his faults because he feels that his flaws and sins are so much a part of him that he will never change. This person also belives he is complete but in a different way. He feels that he is complete in the sense that he cannot possibly change so why yearn? If we really felt there was hope because Hashem can always improve us, we would yearn to access the levels of the holiness of the Beis Hamikdash continuously with our whole heart.
In Brochos 32 we find that for although we no longer have the holy temple, regarding one who has true understanding the Beis Hamikdash is considered to have been rebuilt.If we yearn and plead with Hashem to improve our faults we will surely attain the level of completion Hashem wants for us. The first step of all spiritual ascent is an absolute belief that all failures can be turned around. All one needs to do is yearn to improve with his entire being whenever he can. One must also "tough it out" by patiently doing whatever good possible while waiting for Hashem's salvation.
Rav Nosson of Breslov zt”l, wrote in a letter, “...Regarding the all important issue: your very bitter cry of pain (of your present spiritual state) as a result of your of sins and the thoughts that the Yetzer Hara attacks you with,the main tactic of the yester Hara, (since all illicit actions are the fruit of negative or unproductive thoughts which determine our attitudes and spiritual\ emotional state as well as how we will react.Bad thoughts are the prelude to all spiritual falls.) I have heard your cries and know your pain from before and now (so much that) my heart goes out to you since I feel every bit of your pain as if it was my own…but the very fact that you are crying out with such bitterness, literally until the heavens because of this, comforts and encourages me!
My son; you must know and believe that Hashem hears every single cry and will surely deliver you in the merit of following the advice of the true tsadikim. That the deliverance is taking so long is on account of a hidden reason. But it is certain that failing to strengthen ourselves to overcome such bad thoughts is partially why your deliverance tarries.)
Another reason this [often] takes so long is because Hashem loves to hear the tefilos of Yisrael, even the prayers of the lowest of the low! But even so; not even a single cry is lost so regardless of results, you must continue to cry out with all your might!
… Know my son:there were people much worse off than you that I knew who were healed. Through the words I received from the Rebbi, they were completely rectified and their lot is the portion of those who merit eternal life… !
In another letter Rav Nosson signs off by saying, “May Hashem help us to weep and mourn the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash which principally means that we should mourn because of our sins that prevent the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash until we merit to change our agony and sighing into the happiness and joy of trust in Hashem’s kindness and great deliverance until everything turns into good!
The words of your father, who is waiting for deliverance and praying for you,
Nosson of Breslov .
This sentiment was echoed by Rav Wolbe, zt”l, when he said, “I will give you a big sum of money if you can find even one bochur who believes that it is possible to come to the level whereby one can go an entire year without sins. I am not talking about trying to accept upon ourselves to go a year without sin. Quite the contrary! Kabalos have to be exclusively small. But we must at least believe that this is possible (after much introspection and toil.) I am not even talking about coming to gadlus which is a much greater level. I am talking about entering into our heads and hearts the genuine belief that it is possible to rid ourselves of all sin! This emunah is a prerequisite of true [teshuvah which consists of] charata of the past and acceptance for the future !”

Waiting for Moshiach

Rav Kahaneman, the Ponevezher Rav, zt”l, recalled how he became the youngest member of the kodshim kollel of the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, in Radin.
“A short while after I had joined the yeshiva in Radin, I left the Beis Medrash one day after Shachris, and I noticed the Chofetz Chaim, zt”l, standing by the door with his tallis bag in his hand. He looked at me in a marked manner as the baalei Mussar generally do when they want to speak with someone. Naturally, I immediately approached the Gadol.
He took me by the arm and said, “You are a kohein, so let me ask you a question: In Taanis 17 we find that since the Beis HaMikdash can be rebuilt on any weekday, it is proper nowadays for kohanim to refrain from drinking wine. We kohanim must be ready to do the avodah at all times, and since it is prohibited to do the avodah while drunk, we really shouldn’t be drinking at all. Yet the Gemara then says that our ‘kalkalah,’ that which might otherwise be our ruin, is also our rectification. Since the kohanim don’t know to which mishmar they belong now, there will be a big wait until each kohein will be told this vital information by Eliyahu HaNavi.”
The Chofetz Chaim went on, “We are taught that drinking too much wine wears off by sleeping or walking. For this reason, any negative effects of the wine will wear off by the time each kohein gets to his turn on line. Now, that’s all very well with regards to wine. But what will a kohein do who is not familiar with the seder avodah? A kohein who is not proficient in all aspects of the avodah will certainly not be able to serve! Is he not much worse off than a drunk? Traveling or sleeping will correct inebriation, not ignorance! You are a Kohein. We are waiting for Moshiach every instant. How will you do the avodah when he comes? It is incumbent upon you to learn seder kodshim right away!”
“As you can imagine, I joined the Chofetz Chaim’s kodshim kollel that very day!”

Guarding Your Speech

It is quite common for people to slander a worker or employer who failed to fulfill his commitments. These people figure that this type of slander must be a mitzvah to help others avoid a business connection with a person who does not fulfill his obligations. Yet the Chofetz Chaim did not think this was a simple matter at all.
He said, “One must be very vigilant not to give himself license to recount to others how when he did business with so-and-so, the person robbed or cheated him, or publicly shamed him. Even though he knows that he is telling only the absolute truth, he cannot do it unless he needs assistance catching the thief to retrieve his stolen property.
“Clearly he is not telling this story to others to protect them from being cheated or stolen from. His motivation stems from a desire to embarrass the person who did him wrong. The more this person’s words are accepted by others, the happier he will be. The reason why this is prohibited is because one can only tell another lashon hara to benefit the hearer if he is not doing it out of hatred or spite.”
The Chofetz Chaim continued on this topic, “One must be exceedingly careful even when asking others to help him apprehend the thief, since if he does not take great care he will easily stumble on this heter into the trap of his yetzer hara and transgress the Torah prohibition of lashon hara.
“In addition, he must be absolutely sure that he was robbed and that his friend is certainly not entitled to what he took. This detail is exceedingly difficult to verify since no person sees his own faults. But if he is mistaken and then goes around to others ostensibly for aid to apprehend a thief, he is actually violating the prohibition of motzi shem ra!”

A Loan With Interest

It is hard to imagine the poverty of yeshivah bochurim of earlier generations. By the time the zeman was over most had not one penny to pay their traveling expenses home. In Mir, the administration had a system to deal with this problem. The bochurim would take a loan from Rav Yerucham Levovitz, zt”l, the famed Mirrer Mashgiach, and repay it at the beginning of the new zeman.

At the end of the first zeman, Rav Shimon Schwab, zt”l, found himself without money to travel home and asked the mashgiach for a loan. Rav Yerucham gave him the money and Rav Schwab naturally thanked him.

To the young man’s surprise, this common courtesy upset the normally soft-spoken mashgiach. “Don’t you know that it is forbidden to say thank you for a loan?” Rav Yerucham asserted. “Do you think that because of your ‘yekkish’ mentality you are permitted to violate an explicit halachah in Shulchan Aruch?”

At the end of his second zeman, Rav Schwab once again required a loan to get home. But this time when he received the money he understood not to thank the mashgiach.

To his surprise, the mashgiach, a mechanech par excellence, was once again upset at him. “Aren’t you ashamed? You receive a loan and you fail to show any interest in thanking me? Does this not reveal a lack of the most basic derech eretz and manners?”

This time, Rav Schwab was at a loss to understand what the mashgiach meant. “Last time the mashgiach said that expressing gratitude is a blatant violation of the Shulchan Aruch and must be suppressed. And now the mashgiach states that a failure to say thank you betrays a lack of basic menschlichkeit?”

Rav Yerucham explained. “It should be apparent on your face that you would like to say thank you since it is only common decency to thank another for any kindness granted, but in this case you cannot because the Shulchan Aruch forbids it. But looking at your face it was clear that you received this loan with the feeling that you have fulfilled your entire obligation by merely refraining from saying thank you. This error must be corrected!”[1]

Expressing Gratitude

Even a borrower who blesses someone who lends him money is in clear violation of rabbinic interest.
It is very normal for people to borrow money to cover the expense of printing a sefer. Naturally, the author wishes to give some kind of thanks or bless the lender in his book, since without his generosity there would be no publication.
Yet the Erech Shai, zt”l, prohibits this. Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, suggests a simple way around this prohibition. One can certainly write that “the lender will be blessed from heaven.” The reason this is permitted is because the borrower is not blessing the lender, he is merely writing what will be as a result of his generosity.
Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, pointed out that although people know that one may not thank another, they say, “Tizku l’mitzvos.” He continued, “This is not a halachically permitted alternative, since Tosefos in Kiddushin 8 says clearly that tizku l’mitzvos is rivis. It seems to me that they would be better off saying thank you, since this in not a blessing and may be different from giving a brachah which is clearly prohibited.”
But when someone showed him that the Shulchan Aruch HaRav Baal HaTanya explicitly prohibits saying “thank you,” Rav Shlomo Zalman backtracked. “I thought that the rabbis only prohibited giving a blessing or praising the lender since he has pleasure from this. But thank you is no brachah at all, and how can one take a loan and act as though the lender did him no kindness? This is surely a contradiction to derech eretz and is presumably prohibited. But when I was shown the Shulchan Aruch HaRav I changed my mind.”

The Greatness of Hashem

“In the place where you find the greatness of HaKadosh Boruch Hu, that is where you find His compassionate humility.”

The Arvei Nachal, zt”l, explains this with a parable. “Once there was a great king who was traveling to a certain destination. As he was descending from his royal coach, a very coarse commoner had the audacity to approach the king and start to praise. In his own simple way, he tried to express his feelings about the greatness of his majesty. It is obvious that the servants of the king removed this commoner from the scene as soon as they could, since such primitive praise from such a lowly person is not considered a compliment to the king no matter how well meaning the man was. Everyone would understand that the fellow’s imposition on the time and attention of the king is really a huge affront—what nerve, for such a simple person do think that he has the right to approach the king! Has he no fear of his sovereign? He should have be afraid to make an advance toward the king unless he had some indication that the king wished to speak to him. Not just anyone is on an elevated enough station to praise the king. This is what bards or noblemen do with grace and eloquence, not commoners who have not even been summoned before the monarch!

“Yet Hashem is not like this at all. To approach Him, even the most exalted personage must rely on His great humility, otherwise it would be no more fitting than the lowliest commoner making an advance to speak with the mightiest ruler. Even the fact that we can call Hashem by any Name is only because of His compassionate humility! This is why Chazal sad that anywhere you see Hashem’s greatness, that is where you see His humility!”
When Rav Rafael of Barshud, zt”l, was asked about this he would say, “This means that when you find a person who hold Hashem in the highest possible esteem (gedulaso shel HaKadosh Boruch Hu), you will always find that the person is exceedingly humble (anvesanuso—of the person). And the inverse is also true: a person who lacks humility has no inclination to see the greatness of Hashem!”

Is There Ruach HaKodesh Today?

A certain melamed once asserted to his students in the middle of a shiur, “The commentary of the Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh was most certainly not written with ruach hakodesh since prophecy was lost to the Jewish people long before the Ohr HaChaim lived.”
When the people of the town heard this they were infuriated and removed their children from the melamed’s instruction. They decided to consult with the Divrei Chaim of Sanz, zt”l. “Is this man’s view a valid opinion? If it is not and he is unfit to teach, what should be done with his back wages?”
The Divrei Chaim replied, “I see no room for doubt regarding this man’s opinion: he is definitely incorrect. This emerges from numerous sources. For example, in Gittin 6 we find that Hashem ‘agreed with’ Rav Eviasar. Rashi explains: Hashem agreed to reveal a secret to him, as we see from the fact that He enabled Rav Evisar to understand what transpired in private correctly. The Midrash Rabbah says even more than this: ‘Once there was a woman who stayed too long at Rav Meir’s Friday night shiur. Her husband refused to allow her into the house until she spat three times in Rav Meir’s face. Rav Meir saw with ruach hakodesh…’ Rav Meir lived well after the end of the age of prophecy yet the Midrash tells us that he saw with ruach hakodesh.
The Divrei Chaim continued, “Another proof: Rashi explains the gemara in Kiddushin 72a that Rebbi had a prophecy on the day he died. The only person who could deny all this is a heretic. Not only was the Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh surely written with ruach hakodesh, but any truly worthy author, even in our generation, writes his works with ruach hakodesh. Interestingly, the Tumim applies this fact halachically: ‘One may not say that he holds like an opinion which argues on the Shulchan Aruch to excuse himself from paying money, since the Shulchan Aruch was written with ruach hakodesh.’
The Divrei Chaim concluded, “You were definitely correct to remove your children from the influence of this man, but as for his wages this can only be ruled upon when he is present. Perhaps his statement was a mistake? In this matter you should rely on our community’s halachic authority.”

Another Person's Money

Although a certain milkman who lived not long ago, Rav Betzalel Hachalban, zt”l, was very poor, it seemed that he hardly noticed. Even as he did his work he was always absolutely immersed in Torah. In addition to knowing Shas, gemara, Rashi, and Tosafos by heart, he possessed profound yiras shomayim. A certain talmid chacham once found Reb Betzalel clearly preoccupied with a deep question while he held a sack of money in his hands.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked Reb Betzalel.
The milkman answered, “I am considering whether the mitzvah of hashavas aveidah of a large sum of money is one big mitzvah or a separate mitzah per perutah returned. If the latter is true, I stand to fulfill thousands of mitzvos with this one deed….”
The talmid chacham pointed out another option. “Perhaps you are not obligated to return the money at all. I don’t see any clear siman.”
Rav Betzalel was appalled at this possibility. “But according to my calculation, I can fulfill many thousands of mitzvos when I return this aveidah. I will return it regardless. How can I possibly enjoy money that some poor unfortunate lost and mourns? If you are correct, I will lose out on so many mitzvos and gain absolutely nothing!”
“But if you are not obligated to return it, why not keep it?” asked the talmid chacham. “After all, you are so poor.”
“How am I poor? I have bread to eat in the morning and at night, and I even dip my bread in salt water. Is that the life of a truly poor man?”
“But you could have butter with your bread!”
Rav Betzalel was horrified. “What kind of taste would butter have if it was bought with money that is causing another Jew pain?”
When the talmid chacham understood how much this meant to Reb Bezalel he took a completely different track. “But maybe we can find some kind of siman after all...”

True Comfort

The following is from a letter that Rav Wolbe, zt”l, sent to another gadol who lost his mother in 1977:
“...During your shivah I was unable to visit and comfort your precious family…so I write the following lines in an effort to comfort you. Comforting a mourner does not entail enabling him to forget his mourning, as many mistakenly believe. We see this from the verse in Parshas Chayei Sora, ‘And Yitzchak was comforted after his mother…’ He was comforted when he returned to the tent and saw that everything was on exactly the same spiritual level as when his mother was alive. From here we learn the definition of true nechama. When someone loses a relative, they often find that they had been leaning on the parent to enable their spiritual level. For this reason, people often fall spiritually after the death of a close relative. This then is the definition of nechama: to encourage the mourners and help prevent them from falling spiritually.
The letter continued, “…Your mother, the daughter of gedolim, surely helped you stand at your present exalted level… To one as understanding as yourself, it is surely apparent that this is an opportunity for spiritual growth to ensure that the new generation without her will not fall short of the earlier generation in any way, but will continue to grow spiritually, maintaining the high standards of the past. This is an aspect of: "כי אבי ואמי עזבוני וה' יאספני"—‘for my father and mother have abandoned me, but Hashem will gather me in’…”

Rav Shach once made a shivah call to a man who had lost his wife. It is not unusual for men to be completely debilitated after sustaining such a devastating loss. Not surprisingly, this man was completely crushed.
“You must remember that a Jew is never alone!” Rav Shach exclaimed. To encourage him, Rav Shach told him the following Midrash:
A certain Jew was traveling on a ship filled with gentiles. When the ship reached a strange port, the other passengers asked the Jew to go down and make purchases for the rest.
“But I know no one here,” the Jew protested.
“But a Jew is surely never alone, since wherever he is his G-d is always with him,” they replied.
These words comforted the forlorn widower.