Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Hidden Resentment

"כדי שלא יתפללו על בניהם שימותו..."

A certain bride was all set to marry her chosson when her father contracted a serious illness from which he needed to be nursed back to his health. Since her father was a widower, the most natural person to do the job was his daughter who was engaged to be married and had even set the date for her wedding. After all, why should the father hire help when his own daughter could do a better job? But of course this would delay the wedding and set back the plans the young couple had already made.
When the father asked his daughter for help, she explained that she would obviously need to ask the chosson. When this request was put to the chosson he said simply, “Ask a Rav. We will do whatever he says.”
This question was brought before Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlit”a, who ruled that the couple should get married as planned. “I don't think the father should ask this of his daughter. This comes out of the gemara in Makkos 11. There we find that since those who killed a fellow Jew accidentally are freed when the kohein gadol dies, the mother of the present kohein gadol would give food and clothes to the inmates of the arei miklat to discourage them from praying for the death of her own son.
He concluded, “The same is true here. If the wedding is put off because of this problem, the chosson may very well wish in his heart that his wife’s father die from his illness!”

1 comment:

Rabbi Schulz said...

actually, according to many poskim the real kohanim and leviem have become lost. no one knows wh ohey are anymore. we only treat people who claim to be kohanim today as kohanim sometimes out of darchei shalom apposed to vekidashto.